Invisible

I'm Sorry.

Our lips connect. His hand makes it's way onto my hip, mine moves from his face to his neck. The kiss disconnects and reconnects again. My heart is pounding, and I can feel his is too. He's trembling a little. I break the kiss. His eyes are still closed, his breathing slow.

"Hey," he looks up at me. "You're shaking," I say.

"I don't know what I'm doing."

"Ethan, it's okay." I put my finger under his chin and bring his lips back onto mine.

The kiss becomes more passionate. Our lips moving perfectly in sync with each other's. Time stops. It's just me and him. I can't think about anything other than him. I never want this moment to end. 

But time doesn't actually stop, and the moment is ripped from my grasp when the door bursts open. Instantly, we both rip out faces away from each other and take a step back, but instantly wasn't fast enough. The entire crowd is standing outside the door, Kayla at the front. Everyone is just standing in shock for a few seconds, but soon the laughter, whispers, and taunting began. I can feel my face go pale. Ethan puts his head down, wipes something off his face, I assume a tear, and pushes past the crowd. Instinctively, I follow.

"Ethan! Ethan, wait!" I call through the house. I find him standing in the hallway, facing away from me. I run up to him and put my hand on his shoulder, trying to get him to turn around. "Ethan I-"

I'm cut off as he whips around and screams, "JUST STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, CONNOR!" He storms off, out the front door, and down the street. I just stare until I can't see him anymore. I can't move. My mind is racing a mile a minute. The crowd has followed me into the hallway.

"Has he always been a fag?"

"I can't believe I hung out with him."

"I think he broke. First punching Aiden, now this?"

I feel a hand on my shoulder, but I still can't move. I don't know who's hand it is, and I don't care. 

I shove past everyone and make my way into the kitchen. I grab a solo cup, but put it down and just grab the whole vodka bottle. I put it to my lips, and gulp it down. I swallow about 8 mouthfuls, and put it down to take a breath. The alcohol can't hit me fast enough. I take another swig. And another. And another. The next thing I know, I've polished off the quarter of the bottle that was left.

My memory of the night fades more and more, until almost all of it is gone. I look around the room, and I don't see anyone. I'm confused as to why I'm alone. So I try to stand up, and almost fall to the ground. I laugh at myself, then make my way back to the living room. When I walk, or stumble, into the doorway, all eyes fall on me.

"Wasseverybody doin?" my speech is slurred, and hearing myself makes me laugh.

I hear Kayla mumble, "Oh, Connor..." and she stands up and walks over to me. "Sit down, you're going to fall over." She tries to pull me to a seat, and I stumble behind her, laughing more.

"Ya know, we should really invite that kid. What's his name? Evan?" I can barely get the sentence out. Kayla looks scared.

People start filing out of the room.

"Heeeeeey! Where's everybody goin?"

"Connor, you should probably get home. I'll call your brother," she says as she reaches into my pocket and takes out my phone. She puts in my password, which is good because I don't remember it, and calls him.

"Hey, Chris? It's Kayla... No, please don't hang up- Connor needs to get home... He's had a rough night... He can't really hold a conversation right now- no I didn't force him to get drunk! Can you just take him home and make sure he's safe?"

"Waddya meeeean I need to go home? I'm the life of the party!" I make a wide gesture with my arms when I say that, and almost knock the phone out of her hand. "Kayla, who you talking to?" Just then, it hits me. "Ugh, I don't feel so good..." my stomach lurches. I stand up, and use the wall as a stabilizer as I stumble into the bathroom and vomit into the toilet. 

I can hear Kayla still talking on the phone. "Chris. That was a mistake! I was lonely, Connor wasn't getting the message, and you were there... Im sorry! ... I'm not calling for me I'm calling for him... I never stopped caring about him!... Yes even when he punched Aiden!... People make mistakes. Can you just please come get him?"

A few seconds later she appears in the doorway.

"Connor your brother is coming to bring you home. He told me to tell you not to make too much noise when you get home because your dad is still awake."

I don't look up. "Did you sleep with my brother? That's messed up. And I'm the one who just ruined some random guys life!" When I say that, it hits me again. What I did. "Oh god what did I do..."

Kayla walks over gets me a cup of water from the sink, and sits on the floor with me. She hugs her knees, and a tear falls off her face. "Yes I did sleep with Chris. But it was a mistake. Look Connor, I'm sorry for how shitty I've been to you."

I take the water and try to get the alcohol and vomit out of my mouth. "You know, I liked you for years, Kay. But you always had some guy you were hooking up with, so I backed off."

She looks at me, teary eyed, and moves closer. "Connor, I've liked you from the first day we met! Why did you never tell me?"

"I didn't think you liked me back. I didn't want to ruin what we had." I look away. "I should have just asked you out. None of this would have happened." I cover my face with my hands as I try and blink away the tears forming in my eyes. But my eyes shoot open when I feel a hand on my inner thigh.

"Kayla... what... what are you doing?" She looks into my eyes, and I see lust staring back at me. Her hand inches further up my leg, closer and closer to my the zipper in my pants. "Kayla, we can't," I try to push her hand off of me, but it doesn't budge. 

 "If it's what we've both wanted for so many years now, why wait?" she whispers right next to my ear, then nips it.

"Kayla, please. Don't do this." Again, I try and force her hand off of me. She doesn't stop advancing.

"Connor, it's what we want!"

"You don't know what I want! It's not this!"

She tries to kiss me, but I turn my face away. "Oh, I get it," she mumbles, then moves close to my ear again. She whispers, "Just pretend I'm him," and unzips my pants.

Just then, I hear a car door slam, and someone stomps into the house. 

"Connor? Where the hell are you?" Chris's familiar voice echoes through the house. Kayla stops, and I shove her away from me. I stand up, almost falling again. 

"Chris!" I call. I don't think I can make it to the car without falling. The room is spinning. He bursts into the room, and sees Kayla sitting on the floor, crying. Then, he sees me.

"For fuck's sake Connor! What happened?" he grabs my arm and starts leading me through the hallways, to the front door. I start sobbing. "No, stop it. We can't have you acting like this when you get home." He hands me a bottle of water, but I drop it. Still sobbing, I sink to my knees. 

"IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!" I scream.

This chapter was really intense, and long. 1351 words ffs! Anyway I hope you enjoyed my shitty writing :)