Joie de Vivre

Birth

"Hurry! Were losing her!"

"Where's my child? My baby!"

August 1st, 2001

Birth : 11 : 37 am

Regional Hospital

The echoing ringing from the loud clamber of noise was evident something had gone wrong. My mother whom held me in her stomach for nine months was nearly never a mother at all. My father, anxious for a daughter that probably never came.

I had stopped breathing. No one knew why. Not even to this day. All we know was that my Aunt, who deceased now, managed to gather up courage in a frightful moment to lunge forward and quickly gave me CPR.

Somehow by a miracle, I was saved. I lived with breathing issues and asthma.

Now, I, Arissa Sukairaa Girubaato..live. I feel like that moment changed everything. It made me lived and saved grief for everyone else. Except me.

I grieved growing up. All the bullying and yelling in my home, all the trouble I caused everyone. It caused me to wonder what is life. Why am I here? Why was I even saved in the first place?

Im not sure if ill ever get the answer to that.

--

"Ladies! Its six thirty! Breakfast!"
At the loud announcement, I groaned and slowly pulled up from my mat they called a bed. I yawned and scratched my back before making my bed neatly. I walked out and noticed who dead some of the girls looked. They seemed like they had no sleep, like living zombies.

I saw every other girl except the reckless looking one. I never caught her name..

I asked the lady for paper and pencils, going to an empty table. I plopped down and began sketching.

Deep into my thoughts, the fine lines I drew depicted a girl in despair, drowning in her own river of tears.

"Damn."

Snapping out of my mins, I peered up to glance at the same girl from earlier.

"Thats..pretty damn good." She said with a pretty surprised look. I leaned back and sighed, usually getting the same comments. "Its nothing really.."

"Seriously, its good. Better than my art." I blinked. This tall giant drew? "Im sure you draw fine."

"Im not kidding. Wanna see?" I blinked, but nodded. "Sure. Hit me with it."

Slowly standing, she quickly dashed down the hall to her room and ran back with a whole crumpled stack of papers. She seriously did draw.

They looked very well drawn with alot of effort placed into every defined detail. They were mostly anime related, same as me.

I held the papers up close and tilted my head. "You draw anime too?" I asked and pulled the worn pages down to see the most serious look on the girl's face. She then went to grab two sheets of paper and slid it to me when she returned. She then looked me dead in the eyes. "Name every anime you've ever seen."

Blinking slowly,  I shrugged and grabbed the pencil, feeling her eyes on me as I quickly wrote names quickly. All I wrote took the sheet front and back.

I slid it back to her and she reviewed it, as if it were a job resume.

She then went to look at me with a soft grin. "Hey, I got an idea." She chuckled. "How bout you and I be friends?"

Friends? I sighed. This always happens. I get a person who tries to attempt to be friendly and soon as they say they want to be friends, ill never see them again. I rolled my eyes. "Sure." 

I then stood and went to the restroom, going to think. Shutting the door and locking it, I leaned against it and sighed. I then got out and walked back to her, bumping into someone.

"Oh, I'm sorr.." I was in the middle of apology, my eyes settling on a short young African american girl I bumped into. She wore a scowl and hissed. "You better be."

"You're right, I'm sorry." I said shyly, my bangs falling in my Face. I gulped, hating confrontations. They always got me so nauseous. I just didn't argue since there was no need to. I just stood there and took it, like always.

That is..until I felt a taller being in front of me. I peered up to see the tall girl blocking me from harm. She leaned in close to the girl and intimidatingly narrowed her brown eyes. "Is there an problem?"

The smaller girl huffed and nodded, her waving hand gestured to me. "Yeah! This fucking idiot bu--" I saw strong fingers grasp at the girl's collar as Farisu lifted her up with a growl.

"I dont care how that sentence ends. She is not a fucking idiot. Call her that again, I dare you." Her upper lip was curled angrily. I quickly touched the taller woman's shoulder and said in a hurried tone. "Look, its really alright. She didnt hurt me, plus its fine. I shouldn't have been in the way."

At that, she let the girl go and turned to face me. "You did nothing wrong." She reassured and stretched, as if it was no big deal. "Alright then! Let's go to lunch. I'm fucking starving." She said, going to lift her arms and held them behind her head. I stood there a moment and blinked.

I got in line with everyone else and noticed a chunky brunette tapped me. She looked surprised. "Wow. Farisu must really like you." She mentioned, causing my blue orbs to blink at her.

"Like me? Does she usually not like people?" I questioned and she shook her head.

"Her? No way. She's usually a loner except for some other friends but..shes never taken up for them like that. She must really like you alot."

I blinked. She liked me? Oh geez. "Oh..well, I'm not much toblike but thats uh..interesting, thank you."

We then went to lunch, I grabbed some fish and fries in a lunchroom platter. I stood there, looking aimlessly with an , I'm sure, clueless expression.

I then found Farisu whom sat with two other girls, an empty seat there. I somehow got the courage to approach her with a nervous look, I was jittery.

"Hey, um..." I muttered. "Do you mind if I sit here?"

She blinked, pausing mid crunch. Crumbs decorated her lips as she eyed me. She shook her head. "Its cool. Sit here."

I took the empty seat beside her. Slowly, I began to open up to him and smiled actually.

I think if she likes me, thats alright.

I like her too.