we all know that our life is going to end , some day , some how , some where .
and thats why we all need a little peice of infinity , to make us feel like were apart of something , to make us feel loved , wanted needed . everybody needs friends , they might say that they dont but they do , they need to be needed , to feel needed . everybody needs somebody even tho they wond admit it . as much as i hate people i need people to make me feel loved .
and the worst thing ... i dont have anybody .
i dont want people , i want a person . one person who understands one person that can give me a little peice of infinity .
i sighed , putting in my head phoned and pulling my apple iphone from my back pocket .
i was curently walking home form the hell whole , aka school . it was around 3:30 pm . i had a 5 minute walk to the park , where i go to get my inspiration.
i like to draw , not about outside nor people . i just like outside , it makes me feel some what free .
.
it is midnight , on a friday . usually a teenagers would be drunk at a house party or trying to sneek into a 21 or older club . being reckless and having fun with their friends .
and here i am , sitting on top of an old factory building that has probubly been closed for years now . i really dont know why but almost every friday night i come on the top of the ' old jonnys bakery ' and lay their looking at the stars . it reminded me of when things were good , when things were good , when i was happy .
back when i was little and me and my best friend Evie use to sit out side of her house every night and look at th stars and talk about are future , are like , are intrest , everything . Evie use to be my only friend , but that ws ok because she was all i needed . Evie was funny , out going , nice , and always and i mean always trying to make me do crazy things .
she was perfect and not only in m eyes , in the whole schools eyes , i dont even understand how we use to be so close , she was popular and i was just me . biring old sad me .
oh how i missed evie ...
i sighed , something i seem to do to often
i lifted my chin looking up into the dark stary night and closed my eyes
evie . now i coudnt get her out of my head . i remembered all the times that me and evie had together , the best and the worst .
i remembered how we use to go to the park , and we'd sit under the tree and we'd just listen to music and dance like we had no care in the world .
but we did . we just didnt mind it
evie was my world , my life and without her im nothing .
i didnt know i was crying until i felt warm tears rolling down my face and slowly drifting away on my lips .
i whipped my tears away , i shouldnt be crying . she woudnt like me to cry over her .
i opned my eyes and started paying attention to my souroindings . this was the perfect veiw or portland orgen . the trees and the stars . i could hear the cars pass by , i could hear the wint blowing the plants but i could also hear someones quiet sobbing .
i sat up from my laying possition and turned my head .
their was a boy , he had his hands over his eyes covering his eyes and blinding his vision . he was looking up at the sky his body language was as if he was pleding from someone whos in the sky .
i was curious . but i was also in the state of mind . i was me , dakota , shy stupid , hated dakota nobody would ever like me . they woudnt want my help . ecspecially if i cant even help myself .
i hate myself for being me .
so i did the only thing i am good for . running .
i got to my feet pulled my hair on one side of my hair taking one more glance at the boy who was now staring at me with wide eyes and i ran from the top of the factory building and down back into my never ending hell whole . home.
~
i feel like i barley talk , i mean i havent talked alot in forever .
i have no one to talk to or anything to talk about nothing .
so i listen to my music and sit and stare at ow peoples lifes seem so perfect when their probubly not
and here i am , the spot i always am in . on top of the factory where i saw that boy .
i havent been abel to keep him off my mind i was curious , he was crying but why ? he seemed like he was begging for something like he needed something . but what ? and why ?
i was beyond curious at this point .
i wanted to see him again but i know if i did i would never say anything and i would run .
what i always do , what im best at .
" your that girl , the one from yesterday " i deep voice said and i jumped
i turned around .oh shit . it was him
i could feel my heart pounding in my chest as my body heated up , i was getting anxiety .
i need to calm down .
i turned back around and closed my eyes taking deep breaths when i was finally calm i stood up turning aroung towards the exit about to walk their when i felt the guy grab my arm gently
" are you okay ? "
" y-yeah im just leaving " i stuttred trying to pull my arm away from him
" why are you leaving ? is it because im here because i can leave if you want "
" n-no , but why were you crying " i blurted before i could even think what the fuck is wrong with me. one second i cant talk and the next im saying things .
" y-you saw that ? "
i nodded
" i-its nothing i have to go "
~~~
dedicated to stupidcicky thanks for the comment and the vote babe (-: thats why i havent dmed u bck ))-:
