Jade General

Chapter 15

A/N #1: Well hellloo guys! I've had some trouble with the revisions etc. so I lost quite some of my 'writing material'.... also I just came back from the US, so I'm still jetlagged and feeling tired, but I decided to upload anyway! Have fun!

A/N #2: Well, turns out Wattpad again didn't save my story correctly, so when I published it, it was the wrong version.... kinda pissed about that, anyway, I updated the correct version now

---

As Yin walks away, unsure of her direction, she wonders why she all of a sudden just lost it and just snapped. Usually she isn't one to just let go and let her emotions take control of her actions, but when those soldiers were sent after her...

Xian maybe didn't know of my 'physical abilities', but sending them after me like they were some replacable good! He might be the richest man alive -- regarding his own soldiers like some cheap furniture he could easily replace!
They had had conversations about this peticular topic before, but during none of them had she ever gotten this angered before, though there were a few that come close. Earlier this same week, Xian Shun had managed to get her fuming, after which she slapped him across the face... today she beat up some of his soldiers and spat at his feet... Now she wonders what it will be tomorrow. Things are going well, Yin, keep it up, Yin encourages herself sarcastically, maybe you'll be beating up his army advisors and you'll be sent to jail... That'll ruffle mother's feathers.... maybe she'll come visit you and kills you on the spot, she thinks sarcastically and she scoffs. Her sarcasm fails to push aside that sense of wonder: why did he manage to make her lose control? While pondering about all this, she still feels the rapid thrumming of her blood in her veins.

A late spring storm drapes its cold cluthes over the Palace and the imperial city below as Yin walks around aimlessly through the huge and dark hallways, still trying to calm her raging heart and take away the unease she feels in the pit of her stomach. Any other time, she might have gone to spar with some of the soldiers, but since she just beat up a couple of those, she thinks it smarter not to do so. For all she knows, there might be eyes watching her closely, on the lookout for a mistake on her side. Even the slightest slip-up could cost her her life.

Huge, dark clouds swirl low in the sky, blocking out the rays of the sun. Being in such a grand place, unable to see properly in the darkness the storm brought with, put her of. It was an old instinct she had developed during her training with her grandfather and it kept her alert at all times. It is what saved her life when the assassin tried to kill her with an arrow through her heart and countless other times. Something that doesn't help the restlessness, was her clothing. The white dress she wears had many loose and billowing parts that could hinder her from defending herself, were she to be attacked. Yin is tense and on guard when she continues through another dark hall. While letting her mind wander freely, she rethinks the last few hours. Fire simmers in her blood at the thought of the previous 'incident', while only one thing flashes before her eyes: a battleground littered with mangeld bodies, enveloped in a complete and eerie silence... a slingle torn banner being whipped around in the wind and herself, bloodied and beaten, holding onto it like a disabled man to a crutch. Even though she was trained in the ways of Giang Daou-monks, descendants of Giang Daou, the wisest warrior ever alive, the enemy had overrun the warcamp she worked at with numbers far greater than theirs, she had barely made it out alive. The massacre that followed after they had overrun the war camp still hunted her in the unattended moments during the day and at night in her sleep. Whatever it had been that had triggered these memories, and not only memories of war, to come flooding back, it had occured during that fight.

Her memories go in a different direction, she rethinks the time they had spent together.The bastard is exactly the same way as before, Yin thinks when memories of them two together flash through her mind. How she could put up with him before the war, before everything had happened -- it was a mistery.

As she walks through random corridors, she tries to find reason in the way she felt about him at that time. Being back in the Palace, it certainly brings back memories of a time when things were better... when she still was innocent and somewhat ignorant to the world around her. Whatever it had been between them, Yin was now aware, couldn't be called love.
Back then, he had been the only one to console and care for her, maybe this was why, because he had made her feel like she was someone important, like she had some value in the rotten excuse called her life after the persons she loved most were taken away from her so brutally. The way Xian Shun had shielded her, the way it had made her feel valued after her mother had neglected her, that is what made her think she was in love and had made her so arrogant to think to know what love is like. For him, Yin had probably been a means of blowing off steam. A life as Emperor of an entire continent was harsh and tiring, he could relax when he was around Yin, let down his guard and talk with her. No, it wasn't love, it was a completely different bond, one where they both used eachother for their own good.

Yes, Yin concluded with a somewhat relieved heart, it was only because he was the first to care for me- even though it was not for me. I know he made a vow with my grandfather and father to protect and guide me after their death... And even though she thinkst herself foolish for feeling this pain, her heart hurts as she remembers his care had not been out of love, but out of pity... Like she had been some wounded little fawn who needed warmth and affection. Since then, she never wants anyone to pity her again, because those who do, care for her not because of their sincere feelings, but out of pity.

The sizzling sound of heavy rain and the rolling and rumbling of thunder soothe her mind as she walks along the garden passage, guarded from the rain by the high above canopy. Yin stops midstep, turns and looks at the spectacular display of raw power mother nature released in one evening.

What a fine evening to have a drink, Yin thinks and she steers towards her room.