Drake had left three days ago.
Honestly, there are times when I feel like he used this an excuse to dump me. But his soothing words made it hard for me to believe that. I was having mixed emotions about the whole thing. I still don't completely understand what happened.
I'm not sure if he's leaving me or not, but he did say that he'd contact me as soon as he settled in, so that was a sign right? I really hope so, because it's been three days since he left, and it's been three days since we last talked.
The hardest part was when we were at the airport. I drove him there, but he didn't want me to go in. He said he knew how much I hated goodbyes and he didn't want to make me go through that sort of pain. Did he really think that I wasn't hurting already? But I didn't tell him that. I didn't want him to hold back because of me. I didn't want thim to feel trapped. We never once said the words of 'goodbye'. He just said that he would miss me, and that he can't wait until he's back.
I also got a text from him this morning when I was at college. He let me know that when I come home from the bakery, which would be around 10pm, it would be sometime around the afternoon for him. And he said that he wanted to talk to me, and he really missed me. He also mentioned that he stole the picture of us which I keep on my nightstand.
See, this type of thing makes me believe that he isn't leaving me. Maybe he just has something he wants to do and doesn't want to tell me.
That brought in the idea that he might not trust me anymore, which obviously tore me apart. But I tried not to think about it, since I was going to be skype-ing with him soon, and I didn't want him to see me sad or upset.
I had just finished my shift at the bakery, and closed it up. I walked across the empty road getting to our apartment. I stood in front of the door for a few moments, preparing myself to go into an empty house. Taking in a deep breath, I unlocked the door and walked in
"I'm home" I said in a soft whisper, obviously to no one. I dropped my keys in the small bowl and sighed. Recently I've lost my desire to eat, sleep, study and even work. I've lost my interest in everything. It seems like I was falling back into that black hole again. The one that I used to be so deep into, before I met Drake.
It feels like I'm getting depressed all over again.
