lily was laughing and joking around all day with her mate. I didn't understand why she would bother with me, I'm so useless, people tell me often enough anyway. I am constantly reminded that I'm not perfect that I should not be here.
I try. I honestly do but something inside stops me from cutting so deep. although I want to end my life something makes me keep living. I don't know if it the anticipation of finding my mate or the fact that I knew I wasn't ready to go yet. I just knew that if and when I was ready to die then the blade would get a little sharper.
don't get me wrong I know it's bad and stuff and I know the effect of scars and all of that jazz but to tell the truth it kind of dulled the pain a little. it made me think of something other than being perfect with every crimson drop that stained my duvet or that rollers down the flawless white sink, to then be engulfed by the hard drain. I felt as though something was better. something was alright.
I know that lily probably does care but sometimes I can't see it.
I wasn't exactly a shy person but I hated being noticed so I tend to mask my crazy personality and try to 'end in' however I always managed to be pointed out in a crowd of people.
it's funny that because I don't want to be seen u want to just dissolve away but my best friend wants to be noticed but to be honest she isn't. she is super pretty with dirty blonde hair and piercing blue eyes but in a crowd of wolves you wouldn't pick her out.
maybe because of her rank or because of her scent either way she wasn't popular but she didn't even care.
before lily found Jacob, her mate, lily was reserved and quiet but now a days she is loud and outgoing and doesn't seem to mind her being ranked as average. she obviously did before Jacob. I guess now she accepts who she is and who she will always be.
Jacob is a delta, 3rd in command, so lily will be ranked down even further once they fully mate but she probably won't even mind. she isn't the sort to mind.
she isn't like me that is
YOU ARE READING
safe with my mate
LobisomemI am scared not because of what is happening now at this moment in time but what has happened and how that is going to affect my future and my pack. hey I'm Clara and yes I am a werewolf. run and scream if you want its up to you but honestly thanks...
