My stomach bottomed out. Blain’s hands gripped me tighter as I tried to take a step back.
“It’s important, Tae. I’m not talking about you or anything to do with you. This is strictly about him, and I think you need to hear it.”
Fear instantly gripped me. Did he know something?
“I’m listening,” I croaked out, my voice barely audible to my own ears.
Blain hesitated, looking beyond me for a minute before returning his gaze to mine. A shiver overtook me at the depth of emotion in his eyes, clearly visible in the bright moonlight. The soft glow from the kitchen outlined his profile, sending half of his face into shadows.
“Did he ever…say anything? Anything that would indicate he was going to..?” He trailed off as I wrenched myself from his grasp, stepping backward into a small pile of snow. He reached out to steady me even as I childishly slapped his hand away.
“Why are you doing this?” I gasped. I couldn’t talk about this out loud, especially with Blain. He would know how I’d failed, how I hadn’t seen it coming. He would be mad. He would be disgusted that I had missed the signs.
But were there signs? I asked myself. Could I have prevented it if I had paid him more attention?
Blain’s hands found my upper arms, squeezed to the point of pain. He shook me slightly, drawing me out of the commotion going on inside my head.
“Did you find anything – did he leave you anything?” Blain ignored my struggling. His voice got deeper, gravelly, even as he spoke loudly. “Did you see anything that he had written? I can’t be –” He stopped abruptly and I froze as his words sank in.
I pressed forward, nose to nose with him. “What do you know?” I asked, deadly intent in my voice.
Blain balked at my sudden turnaround. “What do you know?” I shouted, shoving him back. “Tell me!”
The sliding door opened and I saw a head emerge from the corner of my eye.
“Everything ok out here?” I heard Jeremy ask with concern.
“We’re fine,” I said evenly, never looking away from Blain. He knew something, and I knew he knew.
“Ah, right,” Jeremy said. “We’re cutting into the pie right now.”
Blain glanced over at him. “We’ll be there in a minute, Dad.”
Jeremy retreated back into the kitchen and I shoved Blain once more, harder, catching him off guard. He stumbled back and I went with him, arms raised to do it again. He caught my hands mid-air when they would have connected with his chest.
