Written In The Stars

Chapter 2: Confessions

  It's been over a month now since we've met. I didn't feel like asking him questions though he's been the opposite. He asked what my full name was and I've given it to him. Foxe Game, no middle name. Kind of a weird name huh? He asked what do I do for a living and I said I'm a student...A high school student...Nathan supports me and him with his job. He works as an IT technologist...The same line of stuff as my father. He mainly just protects the systems from what he tells me. He sometimes works late at night but that's usually if it's major, an update, or he's bringing his work home to keep me company as I do my school work. What I major in my high school class is mostly English then history then math. People tell me I'm a good actor but I'm not in my own opinion. I probably couldn't remember a line if I'm up on the stage. During that time, I transferred and moved in with him. I was running out of money and that's the main reason why...But it's time to continue the story...Whether I like it or not...We start off with me in the bathroom of the apartment. The sink looks old and outdated. It looks as if it came back from the 90's. Rust was gathering on it and the toilet.I look up in the mirror and I just see myself staring back at an ugly brown wall in the background. "I'm a soldier. I don't need to wear a uniform to be one. Whither I like it or not, I am. I carry a gun around all day. I go fight the battles I can and can't win. I die on the frontlines trying to protect the one I love..." I look down and I see the handgun that I'm holding. I pull out the mag and I see two bullets.I put the mag back in and cock the gun. A bullet ejects and I'm left with one. One bullet is all I need. I put the gun to my head. My hand started to feel heavy and my finger slowly pressed onto the trigger. I stop and I rest the gun on the sink pointing the gun away from me, with the barrel pointing at a wall. I'm breathing heavily and I'm ears twitch. I hear nothing else other than my breathing. My tail is just hanging there motionless. I get caught off guard by a voice I've heard before that caused me to jump. I turn my head around I see my brother standing there leaning against the doorframe. The frame is old and rusted. He would be 21 if he was still alive today. "So is this how our family line ends? A fox that can't handle depression picks up a gun and pulls the trigger? Not only that but doesn't create any offspring for the legacy to continue but also because he has problems with PTSD?" I look at him in shock. He sounds like my brother and looks like him but he died..."You're not real." I say this firmly and I believe it. I saw him die. "Than explain how I'm here then." "B-Because my mind is creating you...It's trying to stop me from pulling the trigger." "True...But in the end, we all know what will happen." He stops leaning on the frame and comes closer and leans on the sink. I look down at the bottom of the sink and notice a little water. "You won't pull the trigger." "Then where are you now?" "I'm in your head. I know what's going in there. Foxe...What do you think our father would say?" "...I don't know what our father would say..." I look over at him and the room has changed. It was as if I was in a middle of a swamp fog and dense trees covering most of the place. "L-Luke? Y-You there?" "Yes and I'm here with someone." A dark black fox comes out alongside my brother and what seems to be my father. "D-Dad?" "Yes, son...It's me." The voice sounds calm yet...Scared. I look over at the black fox. He's...Not real. He's just...Like air...Out of nowhere the phantom pops up in front of me and holds my sides. I couldn't help but look into his eyes. It's a light ocean of pure red. A cold, hard, and very deep voice raises from it. "I'm your demon Foxe. I know everything about you. I know everything about you! You're nothing!" I stare at him scared and father slowly walks up to me. The demon passes through me and I couldn't help but get a chill running through my spine. I look at my father and he's same as he was in the picture. Light blue orange fur with brown hair. He comes to my face and holds my shoulder. "Foxe...You're no soldier. If anything, you're a disgrace. You're in a relationship with another man. Not only that but you have no real offspring...Goodbye, Foxe...And you're no real son of mine." He turns away and walks away from me. I look at him shocked and my brother slowly comes over and just stand there in his usually pose. His paws in his pockets and just stare at me. "Hey, brother...I already know this." He takes out his paw from the pocket and pokes my chest hard and I couldn't help but step back. "You're a no good player. A slut. You're sure are "foxy" and you're really some "game" but trust me, Foxe...No one loves you. No one would cry for you. You're boyfriend, Nathan, just is using you because of your body. You've got no personality. Foxe...Me and you are no longer brothers..." He walks away and I couldn't help but try not to cry. The place where I'm at begins to spin and I'm back in the bathroom again. "Foxe?...You okay?" I just stare blankly at the doorway of the bathroom and I hear footsteps come to me. I feel a paw on my shoulders, both of them. "...Foxe...Please talk to me...I'm here for you." I rise the gun quickly and I press the trigger without given it a second thought, closing my eyes while I do so. It was almost as if it was automatic. Preprogrammed to just take my life. I just hear a loud bang. I twitch my ears as they get readjusted. I open my eyes slowly and the first thing I see is the floor. I feel it against me. It's hard and uncomfortable. I spin my head around. Everything seems to be going in slow motion. I'm brought back with a sudden sharp pain in my back. I bite my lip and I close my eyes as I make a painful expression across my face. I can now start to hear. It is faint but enough to make it out. "What is wrong with you!? Why did you pull the trigger!?" I open my eyes and I see Nathan pinning me down on the ground. He's eyes are red and they're staring me. I can see confusion,anger,hate,love,and many others I can't describe. My arms are being held behind my back and I see the gun on the ground behind me. He's knee is on my back and I can already feel it deep in my back. "Answer me!" This time, I can hear him more clearly. His voice is filled with pain. He digs deeper into my back with his knee and I couldn't help but scream in pain. He eases up on his knee and I stop screaming. "Tell me why you pulled the trigger! Tell me!" A tear starts to roll down my cheek and I couldn't help but let it out. I guess it was the tension that built up. "I picked up the gun because I started to remember the past! I started to see and talk to my brother!" "That's because he's alive!" He digs knee in again into my back, this time, deeper and I scream in pain. "Tell me the real reason why!" "He isn't alive! He died in a car crash in a street race. He died in a fire caused by the car! I was there when he died! I can remember the smells and his face! He was still alive until the nitrous exploded! My whole family is dead except me!" We are quiet. No one dared to make a sound expect me with my whimpering mixed in with the crying I'm making. I just stare at him and he stares back in complete shock. Tears just keep coming from me and go onto the floor which was several inches below. "...Why didn't you tell me before? When I asked about your family...You said that they are alive but disowned you..." "That's because I don't want you to carry my weight. I rather carry it than make you carry it. I don't want sorrow from anyone or help..." The tears keep going as if they're the ocean. He's knee stays there,for what I believe, to test that I'm lying or not. "Whether you like it or not, you're going to get help." "No! I don't want to have a therapist!" "You are not going to a therapist...but you're going to confess to me." I stare at him giving him that look when you wish that they could go to hell. I know he means the best for me and this relationship but confessing to him? I think I rather take the therapist... "That plus I know you'll tell me the truth because you're like this." "And what happens if I don't? Just asking..." "Well, this will happen." He covers my mouth with his paw and pushes lightly in my back. "Mmmmfffff!!!!" "You asked, now remember that. Now question one, When did your brother die?" He removes his paw over my mouth but still close enough to cover it back up. "Five years ago." I somehow say this calmly. "Okay,what about your father?" "Twelve years ago." "Okay, your mother?" "She died giving birth to me." "Okay. That wasn't so hard was it? Now onward with the other questions. Where did you get the gun?" I lay there quietly not wanting or willing to answer it. He growls a little when I don't respond after a couple seconds. "Are you going to answer or do I have to torture you a little?" I shake my head and he sighs. "I was hoping not to do this but you forced me to." He covers my mouth and pushes hard into my back with his knee. "Mmmmmmmfffffffffff!!!!" "Now,are you going to be a good pup and answer the question or do I have to torture you a little bit more? Nod once for yes and shake your head for no" I immediately nod my head. "Good." He removes his paw and places his paw around my neck. "I found it under our bed." I gulp and he sighs. "I guess it's time to lay down the rules. Rule number 1, Do not touch my stuff without my permission." "Yes sir..." "Okay rule 2, If I hear and or see you cheating you are kicked out the apartment, got it?" "Yes." "Good. Rule 3, you are my mate and if you ever have any problems come to me." "Okay..." "Rule 4" He leans into my ear and whispers. "You are now mine. Until the day I die or you die and I shall always love you. Got it?" I nod my head and I start to blush. "Uh-huh." "Good" He sits up straight and clears his throat. "Okay. With that out the way time to move on. Were you in that race?" I just lay there quietly and I gulp. "Do I really have to torture you just so I can get the truth out?" I nod and he sighs. "Fine...Have it your way." He covers my mouth and I quickly close my eyes preparing for the pain. He does it harder than the last time and I open my eyes in pure pain. "Mmmmmmmmmffffffffffffffff!!!!" "Now are you going to tell me?" I nod my head quickly not wanting to be in pain anymore. "Good boy" He places his hand where it was before, right under my neck. "Yes...I was in that race" "Okay. Did you do anything else that was illegal? For example, drink,smoke,murder, and other crimes." "underage drinking...." "Hm. Well, I got some news for you, there's no liquor here." "That probably won't stop me." He covers my mouth quickly and pushes down his knee hard on my back. "Mmmmmmfffffffffff!!!" "That's not what I wanted to hear!" He immediately picks me up by the neck and pins me against the wall. I can see the front door...It's closed. I guess I couldn't run for it even if I tried. "What are you going to tell me now?!" He removes his hand from my mouth but he keeps my head up against the wall with holding my waist. I'm blushing and I start to whimper right there. "I-I-I-I'm going to drink all the goddamn liquor in the whole world- Aaaaaggghhh!" He starts to push down on one of my pressure points. I just couldn't help but scream in pain. "You're sixteen Foxe! If you don't fucking stop with the alcohol, you're going to die! I don't want you to die! I want you to live along side me! I want us to grow old together, have kids with each other!" He let's go of my pressure point but I'm still pinned to the wall. I just look at him and i couldn't help but feel bad. I got addicted to one of the causes of getting your kidney removed. I see him with a tear rolling down his cheek and I just start to cry. I couldn't stop it at all. The tension, PTSD, depression, heartbroken.pain, afraid to love, and now finally...This...Why me? Why do I have this life? My tears just hit the ground, one after another. Nathan stops pinning me and just hugs me tightly. I just continue to cry and let the tears just fall as if I was a waterfall. He takes me to the couch and lays me down, still holding me tightly around him. I hear him lean to my ear and gently rock me back and forth. "Ssssshhhhhh. Stop crying now. I'm here to protect you,love you, and many more like taking care of you." My crying soon becomes whimpering but the tears continue to fall down the ground. He turns me around so I'm facing him in the eyes and I just stare at him. I'm ashamed of myself. I didn't tell the truth to him. I wanted to keep that a secret. "Be quiet now darling. I'm here." He pushes me into his fur and my head is now under his. "Remember Foxe, I love you and you love me remember?" I just lay there and slowly nod my head. I can feel him smiling as he wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly. I just wrap my legs and arms around him tightly, continuing to cry. Hours pass by before I go to sleep and by that time, it was time to go to school but I didn't go that day...Or the next two weeks. By the end of the two weeks, I'm on pills for anxiety, depression, and PTSD. It's strange isn't it? I'm talking mostly about love and life. Life is mostly telling you to go out there, reproduce, get a job, and die. Love is telling you to go find who is your soulmate is...Not only that but it doesn't matter what kind of gender they are. Which one did you choose though? Love or life? I already made my choice...And I already think I found out who my soulmate is...