Chapter 1

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"IM DONE WITH YOU AMANDA!" He yelled as he slapped me across the face. I fell hard on my back. I looked up at him. I loved him. He loved me. Right?
His eyes were a deep blue. He realized what he did. His eyes went gray. "B..baby i...I'm so sorry!" He said as he ran towards me. I pulled my hand from my cheek and looked at it. Blood. There was blood. "Amanda!? Amanda baby are you okay!" He yelled his voice cracking. I pulled my hand up to my cheek stood up and ran towards the bathroom. I closed the door. I locked it. I grabbed a wet wash cloth and cleaned the cut. I bandaged it. I got my phone out of my pocket along with my earbuds. I opened up Spotify and turned on my "faithful to live" playlist. I sat down and traced letters into my hands. I sat there for half an hour. I stood up and looked at my phone. 3% perfect. I quietly opened the door. I looked out to see him sitting there. He had a notepad and a bunch of sugar pills laid out. When he would get mad before he would fix it by getting high. He has slowly made his way to sugar pills. I turned off the light so he wouldn't notice me. I made it to our bedroom. I plugged my phone in and connected my bluetooth headphones to my phone. I grabbed my "emergency bag". I had originally made it incase of a fire or sudden emergency. I texted my best friend Rozlyn.

My boo😘-hey girl. So it happened again. I'm on my way over. Sammy is coming with me.

The farthead🐘💨-okay. See you in then

I opened our window and grabbed a notepad. I wrote him a note.

Dear Patrick,
I am at a safe place. Don't call or text me. I will be back in two days. I need time. I brought Sammy with me. I'm proud of you. I'm so happy you are down to sugar pills. But that doesn't change what happened. Patrick. I love you. But... Im... I'm broken right now. I will see you soon.
                                 ~Amanda

I laid it down on his bed side table and left through the window. I grabbed our dog Sammy. She is a German Shepard. I keep her outside because she is loyal to me. She attacks Patrick when he hits me. It's hard to explain why I don't leave. But trust me. I know I love this man. Too many people have given up on me. I can't abandon him. I know how he would feel. He is at Rock bottom right now. If I left. I know the ground would break and he would fall further.
I grabbed Sammy and walked down the street. I didn't want Patrick to see my license plate and know where I was. I walked. It took me 10 minutes but I made it. I opened the door and let Sammy off her leash. She went to the bed I have for her there. I hung up her leash and walked over to Rozlyn.
"Hey Roz." I said
"Hi baby." She said as she gave my a tight hug.
Me and her had known each other forever. We were practically sisters. I even called her sis sometimes.
"I know your probably chomping at the bit to know what happened but can I wait until tomorrow to talk about it?" I asked.
"Of course. It's 10:00 why don't you go get some sleep? I will let Sammy out and bring her up to your room once she goes to the bathroom."
"Okay I love you sis thank you so much."
"I love you to now get your butt to bed." She said in a joking tone trying to lift the mood. I laughed slightly as I walked to the guest room. (Which was basically my room.) I laid down and about 5 minutes later felt 4 paws on my back. I rolled over a held Sammy in my arms. I cried In to her fur. She licked up my tears as they fell. I fell asleep crying.

I woke up at 8:37 am. I took Sammy out to pee. I opened up my phone for the first time to see a text message.

Baby boy👶🏼💋-hey sweet girl I know you letter said not to text you but I had to text you and ask you one thing. All I ask is that you read this. Read this so it will tell me and I will know you are safe. I trust you. I know your safe. I just need to be 101% sure. I love you see you soon.

I wanted to cry. I called Sammy inside as I went to make some breakfast. I pulled out the shake and bake pancake mix. I shook it up and put it in the pan. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs. I wiped the tears that I had on my cheeks. I turned around to see a sleepy Rozlyn. I faked a smile and gave her a good morning hug. I turned around and flipped the pancake that was on the stove. I did that until the batter was gone.
I set the table, fed Sammy and sat down. Roz had already scarfed down half of her pancake.
"Dang girl slow down." I said
"Sorry shake and bake brand is my favorite." She said with a cheeky smile. We finished our food.
"Can we sit on the back porch it's warm today." I said with a whining 5 year old voice.
"Haha yeah"she said.
I pretended to cheer as we went outside. We sat down and began to talk.
"So if you don't mind me asking what happened?" She said her voice cracking a bit. I knew she hated asking but her curiosity got the best of her.
"I'm only telling you because your like my sister." I said with a small laugh. I'm an optimist so if at any point I can make a situation better I try to.
"We were fighting. Like usual. He told me he had had enough of me. He slapped me. Hard enough to bleed. I fell back onto the floor. He saw what he had done and his eyes went from dark blue to gray. He knew what he did. I ran to the bathroom and cleaned the cut. I listened to my "faithful to live" playlist. I didn't break my 5 year clean record. I then slipped out left him a note and came here."
"Oh." Was all she could manage to say.
"Amanda?"
"Yes?"
"I believe you but can I see your wrists?"
I used to cut. I had a bad past. I lied for a long time saying I quit. 5 years ago I finally quit. She has me show her my wrists every time this happens. I handed her my wrist. I heard her breath return to normal.
The next two days were nice. I sat back calmed down and relaxed. I promised I would be back in two days. I get my bag packed again and got Sammy on her leash.
"Okay by Roz see you soon!" I yelled
"BYE!!!!!" She yelled
I walked the ten minute walk home. I stood at the front gate took a deep breath and opened it.
Here we go.

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