Chapter One
I could hear the yelling and the screaming coming from downstairs. I heard his powerful voice boom over her smaller one. Jean and my mom were fighting again. Every day this week they have been fighting non-stop, but it’s always like this. I tried my best to mute the vicious screams and thuds coming from the 1st floor of our apartment, but the more I tried the more it failed. I couldn’t help but hear his threats towards her. Threatening to kick her and us out, to hurt her and to hit her. Knowing my step dad, those threats weren’t out of the picture.
The neighborhood I lived in was always quiet and boring, full of rich snobs who go surfing every other day and when they aren't surfing they are smoking. I lived in the southern part of California, in a town called Santa Barbara right on the coast.
My mom, Ellen, and my sister, Mia, and I all moved into my moms boyfriends house about 2 years ago. It wasn't a big move though considering we only lived 3 houses to the left of his place. For the first year of their relationship he was nice to all of us and showed us love and a safe haven. Now that he has started drinking again, he is a complete ass hole.
My sister creaked open the door to my room, when she peered her head around the wall I could see her cheeks were stained with tears. She probably was woken up by the glass dish hitting the floor in the midst of their fight. Holding her favorite teddy bear tightly in her arms, she walked into my room closing the doors behind her. She ran onto my bed and sat in my lap. She was sobbing uncontrollably by now, not caring if she was heard by anyone. I started to draw little patterns on her back to calm her down from the sobbing mess she was at this moment. I was patiently waiting for her loud sobs to quiet down so i could talk to her. She was only 4 and already in so much pain. No child should have to go through this sort of pain. Shifting in the lap, she laid her head down on my chest and cuddled into me, looking for some sort of protection.
“Why does daddy hurt us like this?” Mia asked with pain laced in her voice, a sob coming through her mouth at the end of her sentence.
“Because he is a bad, bad person Mia.” I told her rubbing her back lightly. I couldn't explain why he actually did these things to us. How could someone explain the need to hurt others and the make people feel small, only to feel power over everyone else. She just simply nodded her head and laid back down on my chest. Her attention was quickly averted to my arm, the scars making her curios.
“How did you get these boo boo’s?” she pointed to the scars marked on my body.
“Did Jean do this to you?” she asked again running her hands over my wrists. I couldn’t help the tear that escaped my eye.
“In a way, yes. You see Mia some people fight these great battles in their lives that leave marks on their bodies. Some people have battle scars on the outside of their bodies and some have scars on the inside of their bodies.” I said trying to be as vague as possible. She didn’t need to know what actually happened or that i felt the need to do this to myself, she just needed to know why.
“Will I fight a battle as well?” she asked lifting her head to look into my eyes. Her eyes were still swollen and red, but you could see the deep blue color of her eyes better in contrast to the puffy red surroundings.
“I hope you never have to. But whatever you do, don’t fight it alone like I am.”
“But ill fight with you! ill help you win, im strong see?.” she smiled lifting her arm up to show off her ‘muscles’.
She did what she always does and she somehow lightened the mood. I loved her for that, no matter how heavy the situation she always put a smile on my face. I laughed with her and sat her back down so she wasn’t tempted to jump on the bed.
