Broken Flower

Prolouge

             Dear my sweetest Avery,

             I am so sorry for what I am doing. This has nothing to do with you; it only has to do with me. I am broken, I’ve been like this for a long time and I suspect you have known that, also, for a long time.  I feel encased and I can’t take it anymore. I need to leave. I need to re-discover who I am. I have become someone who is leading a life I don’t want. I have never been a good mother, you never got to experience the childhood you deserved. I know how badly you wanted to join that Girl Scout group when you were younger, but I never let you. For that, I am truly sorry. You deserved a better life and a better mother but all you got was me. So, now that I am leaving, I will hand you over to your Aunt Mae, who will take the place of me and in hopes, will be the mother you always wanted. Perhaps, one day we will meet each other again. We might chat over a cup of coffee, I would tell you about my new found hobbies and you will tell me about how far you have gotten, because you will, I know it. Until that day, this is goodbye.

                I love you.

                -Mom

                That was the letter my mother left for me the night she ran away. She left her 17 year old daughter at night with nothing but a letter and some money. I remember that Saturday when I woke up and I found the house silent. No music playing, no smell of burning pancakes, just silence. I found her room empty, the bed stripped of its sheets and the closet empty, just the ghost of knowledge that something had been there the day before. I ran downstairs to the kitchen and all I found was this letter, two hundred dollar bills and a ripped piece of paper with my aunt’s phone number on it. I immediately called her and explained to her what just occurred.  

               “I was afraid something like this would happen.”— Was all that my aunt said, but it was more like she was saying it herself than to me. I didn’t know what it meant but I was too shocked to ask. My aunt told me she was coming to get me and to stay where I was. She came the next day and told me I was moving in with her. Apparently, my mom had called her just minutes after I had gotten off the phone with my aunt, she explained to her what she was doing and why. Something she had failed to let me know, her own daughter. My aunt helped me pack up some of my clothing, books and a few other possessions I planned to take with me. The rest would be provided by my aunt. With that, we left. I didn’t get to say bye to any of the few friends I had, without saying anything to the guy I had a crush on, who I never said a word to because I was too shy. With that, I just left my old life behind.

                  The thing is though I knew there was something wrong with her. I knew it since I was a kid. I knew she was broken and I knew she was trying to start a new life, but I always thought she would have taken me with her.