Broken Flower

Chapter 2

                You need to calm down. You have to stop.

     I kept repeating that to myself, as I took deep breaths through my nose and exhaled through my mouth. I don’t know how long I’ve been crying for. It felt like days.  The tears continued to stream down my face but my breathing was now under control. I wiped the wetness away with the sleeve of my sweatshirt and got up from the floor.

     The reflection in the mirror stared back at me. This girl had bloodshot eyes and a dilated pupil inside surrounded by her dark green iris, pooling with tears threatening to spill. Her cheeks were tearstained and her nose was sniffling, not to mention red. I wrapped my hands around my neck and tilted my head back, massaging it lightly. I closed my eyes.

      You have to get a hold of yourself. If you stay here any longer, she’ll think something’s up. You can cry tonight, not now. Calm down, calm down, calm down.

      I opened my eyes and looked at myself again. I turned on the tap and let the water run through my fingers. I bent my head and splashed some the cold water onto my face, rubbing the crook of my nose and the area around my eyes. Massaging my cheeks and trying to keep myself from breaking down again. I turned off the tap and turned to bury my face in the blue towel hanging from a hook. I breathed into it; the light smell of vanilla entered my nose. I bit down on my bottom lip, squeezing my eyes.

       It was the little things like this that got to me. I mean, who needs a towel that smells like vanilla?

      I contained myself and dabbed the excess water, trying not to pay attention to the fact that I was probably stuffing my face in a towel that costs more than my own clothing. I looked in the mirror for the last time. My face was somewhat back to normal, but eyes were still a bit red. I guess I would just have to lie if my aunt questioned me about it. I exited the washroom and into my room. I couldn’t stand being in there, so I went down stairs to see if I could help Aunt Mae with dinner.

***

      “No. She just left her.—I don’t—Yeah, she’s here.­­—Don’t worry mom! I’m going to take care of her. I did raise a child before!”  I heard my aunt snap at the person on the other side of the phone. I continued to walk down the stairs . She was talking about me obviously.  My aunt spotted me and quickly whispered something about having to go and hung up the phone.

      “That was just your grandmother on the phone” She called up to me. “I called to tell her what happened with your mother and how you’re with me.”

     My grandmother? Gosh, when was the last time I saw her? My most vivid memory of her was when I was six and she was handing me a piece of chocolate. I talked to her on the phone sometimes, but they were just quick two minute conversations and they only happened on Christmas and on my birthday.

         “Okay.” I replied, and I stepped down on the last step and met her on the floor.

         “Okay!” She paused for a second, then spoke again, “So, do you need anything?”

         “No,” I answered shaking my head. “I just came down to see if you needed help with dinner.”

       “Oh! Well, that’s very sweet of you, but I just decided to order some pizza. Is that okay?” She asked fiddling with her hair.

         I really didn’t want to go back upstairs; everything in there just looked at me straight in the eye and mocked me.

          “Okay, I guess I’ll be upstairs.”  I turned to go back up but my aunt spoke again.