Tough Love

Chapter 12

-4 months ago-

Lauren: I was pressed up against the most uncomfortable chair in the waiting room of my hospital. Even with their best attempts of butterflies and flowers painted on the walls this place still not cheery. Everything was shaking, and I was scared. I have had been cancer free for a long time, and every time that they ran test I got scared. I didn’t want to relive it again, all the pain and suffering. However, like always, I just sat there and grinned and bared it. I didn’t know why I was like this when I got my test done, always scared, I guess I had a right to be but I kept hope in the back of my mind. “Lauren, please come back with me.” I got up quickly, and then reached for my mother’s hand. I always held my mom’s hand when they were reading me my results. She was like my good luck charm, I liked to think. She was strong through all of this, being a single mother and all. My father didn’t know. We haven’t spoken in 6 years so I figured no reason to tell him. Why should he start caring now? I entered the room and hopped up on the patient table. “The doctor will be in, in just a moment.” The nurse smiled then walked out. I nodded back and my heart rate grew faster, but I still had a smile on my face. We waited there for a couple of minutes, until the doctor entered. He looked a little distraught and tired, but I figured it was dealing with grief all day, not necessarily me. He was flipping through my clip board and we haven’t even made eye contact yet. He came over and sat down next to me, and then we made eye contact. I knew something was wrong right away, it was in his eyes. I was very comfortable with my doctor, we have almost become friends through this process, and I liked him. He took my hand, and my heart stopped. Something was wrong. My bottom lip began to tremble and he opened his mouth to speak. “Lauren… Im very shocked and sad to tell you this…” he paused reading my papers one more time to make sure he was certain. The tears came right there. I knew what he was going to say next, I didn’t think this could be happing all over again. I’ve been fine for so long, and then it would just take over my life again. “You relapsed, honey.” My tears became waterfalls and I dove into my mother’s arms. The doctor said other things, but I could hear anything over my loud thoughts. I heard him say that they thankfully caught it early. How couldn’t they? I gotten test almost every month. I didn’t want it to be like last time, everyone treated me differently. I wasn’t going to let this affect me, not until it had to. With the tears still streaming I put my hands through my hair. I knew that once again, I was going to lose everything.