A Book Mainly Centered Around a Hot Mess (Me)

Sick Days

So this morning I threw up, twice. 

Disgusting I know. 

And now I can't eat anything without it coming back up, so yeah. 

Trust me, I tried eating pizza (I ate four slices quickly because I am was starving). Literally a minute later it all came back up on the dining room floor.

So now I'm confined to my room with tea and my cat at the foot of my bed, telling you all about my eventful day.

It actually is pretty strange, just sitting here.

I'm usually at the pool, or getting ready to go to some concert, or walking around town. But right now I'm just facing a screen.

And trying to slowly sip my tea because I want it to stay down.

So since I'm just sitting here, let me tell you embarrassing stories that are funny.

Story 1

So when I was little, around four. My little sister was only eight to nine months old. And we were taking a bath together. As my mom pulls my little sister out of the tub she starts peeing on the ground (My little sister not my mom).

Now I'm already out of the tub and watching my mom as she cleans up the mess and I just stare and say, "Why did she pee on the floor?'' Before my mom can answer ask, "Is it because she's a baby?''

My mom isn't really listening at this point so she just mumbles a 'yes'.

I process this information, "can I be a baby?''

My mom still isn't paying attention to me so she just says 'yeah sure.'

aND i START PEEING ON THE FLOOR.

Story 2

One time when I was seven my dad took me out to the grocery store really late. And while were waiting in line to buy the stuff my dad came to get I burst out in tears.

My dad looks at me in mild panic and goes, "honey, what's wrong?''

I take several deep breaths in and cry out, "I don't wanna be old!''

My dad slightly laughs, "okay, then don't think about it.''

I hiccup and let in another breath before crying out, "No I don't want to be old like her!''

And I point to this really old lady in front of us to my dads horror.

Story 3

So there is this boy who lived across the street where I used to live before I moved. And it was a hot summer day, so him and his friend set up a lemonade stand.

The sign says only 25 cents so I go up with my quarter and buy some. They had me a plastic cup with lemonade and I take a sip.

Spitting it onto the pavement I gasp in disgust, "that taste disgusting!''

The boy shrugs, "Probably because it isn't lemonade.''

"What is it then,'' I whisper.

"Food dye, water, and a lot of vanilla extract.''

I asked for my quarter back, and they said no.

End of Stories

Sorry, I gotta go. I'm just really tired. Goodnight even though it's only 1:57 PM. Darn sickness, draining all my energy.

*do it for the sheep