Chasing Butterflies- Ryden

✿ 19 ✿

--Ryan--

time skip to July, 15, 2017

I lay on my bed, Dottie laying on my chest. She looks at me with those cute puppy eyes, trying to figure out what's going on with me. She's been doing that for the past few years.

Dottie finally gives up and jumps off my chest, off my bed, and leaves the room, probably going to join Elwood.

I'm alone.

My mind crawls to Brendon, like it always does, and god, I miss him. I miss everything about him. The way his lips felt against mine, the way he looked at me in ways no one ever could, the way he would smile when he would see me.

His laugh. His skin. Just him.

I've been trying to cover up my longing for him by pretending to date girls. Somehow, the fans see through it. They know everything, it seems. They know about every song that was for him or about us, they know about everything we would do onstage and backstage.

Tears start to form themselves in my eyes, and I try to blink them back and fight them. Buts its a battle that I lose everytime. Hot tears slide down my cheeks, and I lay on my bed, crying over my ex-boyfriend.

But he just wasn't my boyfriend. Brendon was my lover, my hero, my soul mate, he was my everything.

And now I've lost everything.

"I need to call her. She can help." I mumble to myself, grabbing my phone.

I dial her number and wait for her to pick up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, its Ryan."

"Well, duh. I have your contact saved in my phone, y'know."

"Yeah, I know."

A pause.

"Have you been crying?"

"Yeah, I need your help."

"Alright. I'll be over in five."

I hang up, with help on its way and shove my phone into my jeans' back pocket. Lazily, I get up from my bed and exit the bedroom, heading to the door. I don't know how she manages to get here in five minutes. I wonder how many speeding tickets she's gotten in her whole life.

Three minutes pass and there's a knock on the door. I open it, revealing her standing there. She's wearing a red shirt with black skinny jeans and black Converse. She's always wearing those shoes.

"May I come in?" She asks, and I nod, opening the door wider as she steps in.

I close the door, getting reminded of I Write Sins Not Tragedies.

"So, what's wrong?" She asks, arms crossed.

"I feel sad." I say casually.

"Yeah, I know, but what's making you sad?" And I want to tell her everything, but I can't.

So I just simply shrug in response. I pull out my phone and unlock it as she does the same. I find myself clicking the same buttons and going to the same place on it.

A deep sadness fills my heart as I scroll down Brendon's Instagram page, laughing quietly at some of the pictures he posts. The memories I have of him replay themselves in my mind. Now he's on Broadway, starring in Kinky Boots.

"Come on." She groans, "Just admit it."

"Admit what? I don't have anything to admit." I lie, but she can see through it.

"You're still in love with Brendon Urie!" She yells, "Its so obvious!"

"I'm not." I argue, but the words are worthless since she's already figured it out.

She scoffs, "Like I'd believe that."

"I'm not in love with him." I say bitterly and harshly.

She runs her free hand through her short, choppy hair, "What am I going to have to do to get you to admit it?"

I think for a moment, "Nothing. 'Cause I don't love him."

She puts her phone back into her pocket and grabs my arm, pulling me to the living room. Dottie and Elwood are somewheres around the house, since they're not in their beds. She pushes me onto the couch and I set my phone onto the coffee table.

"What about When The Day Met The Night? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that wasn't about Keltie. You know how feminine Brendon is. He's the sun, you're the moon. And ever since you left, almost every song he writes is about you." She growls, tossing her hands into the air.

Then she spots my phone and unlocks it. She clicks on something and lets the video play right in front of my eyes.

Its 15 minutes of Brendon and Sarah being "cute." I shove the phone away, and she closes out of the video.

"Oh look," She asks, "What's this?"

I never fully closed out of Instagram. She sees what I was looking at; Brendon's page.

She's caught me, and I know its time to give up.

"Fine! I love Brendon and I always have! I never stopped loving him, and I miss him so fucking much." The truth spills out of me.

I snatch my phone from her and throw it at the wall, angry at Brendon, angry at Sarah, angry at Dallon, angry at myself, angry at the world.

"I could always ruin their marriage." The red haired girl says comfortingly.

"No, I don't want to do that to him." I reply, "But I wanna know how you would do it."

She smirks, amber eyes gleaming with mischief, "I have three ways. I can either seduce Sarah and let Brendon catch us in bed, or," She drags out 'or,' "I know Panic!'s guitarist, Kenny, has the hots for Sarah. I can encourage them to sleep together and let Brendon catch them. Also, I know that Sarah's just using Brendon for the money. I can expose her. She's a shit actress, and a gold digger. No wonder why she married a huge rock star like Brendon."

I stare at her in astonishment and confusion, "How the hell do you know all this?"

"I know some people." She says, studying her nails.

I sigh, rolling my eyes. Its typical of her to know something she's not supposed to.

"Exposing option is out. The press would shove and push their way into the situation, causing Brendon and Sarah to act like a power couple. And Brendon will probably forgive Sarah for sleeping with a stranger, since it'll probably be meaningless to him." I say, "So I think Kenny and Sarah sleeping together will be the most effective solution. Brendon would be so angry that his wife slept with his best friend and his band's guitarist."

"Now you're thinking like me, Ross." She says approvingly, "Plus, when Brendon catches them, he'll kick Kenny out. That'll leave an opening for you. Want me to set the plan into action?"

I pick up my shattered phone, video still playing. A few pieces of glass prick my hand.

"If it means being with Brendon again, then yes."

--

A/n: can you guys figure out who the girl is and what her role is?

also these are just short filler chapters until the main ones

they're four hundred words less :')))))