Made For You

Chapter 2

It started to get dark and it was raining so I figured now is a good a time as any to leave. Walking out of my "spot" I make my way to the trail. I'm walking quietly as a hear some leafs rustle around. I figured that it was just an animal and keep walking. After hearing a stick break I went into a full on sprint. Not today serial killer! Not today! When I said I wanted to be chased by a guy in a mask I was clearly joking. I made it to my jeep pretty quickly noticing that mine was the only car left. I hopped in and looked around me seeing nothing.

It started raining heavily and I'm thankful that I'm already in the car. Taking a deep breath I put my keys in the ignition, plug my phone into the aux and buckle up. Just as I'm pressing the brake getting ready to move the shifter I hear a tap on my window. I turn my head to see a face staring at me. I screamed so loud I hurt my own ears causing the stranger to cover his. He signals for me to roll the window down so I hesitantly do. The stranger lets out a chuckle and beings to talk.

"Hey I'm really sorry ask this but it's raining really hard and I need a ride. I'm only about five minutes away by car but if I were to walk it would take me a while. I have ten dollars I can give you." He says with a smile.

I recognize him as Dylan Robinson, he and I went to school together. We talked a couple of times but not much he was a little more on the popular side than I was. He was funny and charming but never my type. When we would talk we would laugh a bit and help each other with work. He was pretty tall with brown hair, tan skin and brown eyes. He was almost always smiling. I haven't seen him since last June when school got out. Since then he has stubble on his face that I would usually find attractive and he seems more mellow. I break away from my thoughts to give him an answer.

"I guess hop in" I said looking away from him and out the windshield. He went to the passenger side and got in. Thanking me as soon as he did. "I'm gonna need directions." I spoke lowly trying to not come off as rude or annoying.

"You've never been to one of my parties? Wait aren't you that girl that yelled 'drunk and killin' it' at the top of her lungs?! Then kissed Bret" I immediately blush as he laughs. Maybe he isn't as mellow as I thought.

"I didn't realize that was your party but I still don't remember where it was. That was so long ago" I say trying to get him to spit out directions and stop talking. He eventually did and the car was silent other than the occasional "turn here".

After dropping him off I return home and go to my room. My room is dim most of the time due to the fact that I have purple black out curtains so the sun doesn't get in. On my white walls are Christmas lights to help brighten the room. My room is the attic and on one side of the slanted ceiling I have the word dream in cursive made of Christmas lights. I have a huge bookshelf surrounding the top of the staircase and tons of books covering it. My bed sits on the floor and has 6 pillows including a circular furry one that I like to cuddle with at night. My comforter is grey fading into black along with my pillowcases. My sheets are dark grey. I don't really like bright colors all that much anymore.

In the corner of my room there is a flat screen that I don't use too often. I sit down on my bed and lay down covering up because it's nice and freezing up here just how I like it. I plug in my phone and open Tumblr. Tumblr to me is like a diary, all my private thoughts and feelings go there. It's also a sort of therapy to me because there are other people that feel the same way and tell you encouraging things. Scrolling through I see all kinds of quotes and beautiful photography.

I realized that I haven't eaten yet so I walk downstairs and make a sandwich with turkey, mayo, tomato and lettuce. I love cheese but can't eat it due to the fact that I'm lactose intolerant. My parents are never home because they always go out with my younger siblings and do family activities like go to the zoo. I feel as if I'm left out of their little family but that's okay because they are all happy now.

I go upstairs after eating and sit on my bed. I plug in my headphones and listen to music. That's when all of the thoughts come rushing in. How lonely I am. How I dropped all of my friends. How my relationships are all garbage and that no one will ever love me. I think about how happy my family is without me and I start crying. I'm sick of having to act okay then breaking down every night and crying. My world is so dark and lonely it's terrible. I think of how it would be easier to not even be alive. To be completely honest with you I didn't think I'd make it to 18. I don't see myself growing old, getting married and having kids. It's just too much.

I want to get married and meet the love of my life but I just don't see it happening. I experience things differently than others. I don't understand why I can't just be normal and process things correctly. I need to stop this and quit thinking. I hate myself so much and I can't handle it. I walk into the bathroom and grab a bottle of pills. I open them and swallow the pills. I feel a rush of relief come over me.