Things I couldn't tell you || Haikyuu!! fanfiction

Prologue

These words are supposed to be simple. But it seems that's not the case...

I feel like we've known each other for an eternity. And yet we lost each other so many times... Why is it that we always ended up meeting again? Why am I not allowed to just forget you? Why am I still feeling things for you...?

It's been a few hours since I saw you again after 5 years. Right now I am laying in bed. My heart is both aching and also going crazy like a wildfire.

I met you again...

When you heard my name being called out, you shrugged for a while. I remember how you glanced at my direction.

I didn't recognize you at all at first. In my memory you still were a boy. And suddenly you became more mature.

I met you again...

You didn't smile at me. Your eyes just widened like mine. I wonder... Did your heart also ache a bit when our eyes met? Because mine definitely did. And it still does.

You...

And I also felt the sudden urge to get closer to you.

I don't want to lose you.

I wanted to get closer to you... That was the goal I set for myself.

Not again...

It was for various reasons. Most, selfish ones... For instance, I wanted to simply be with you like in the old days. I want to have fun with you, laugh with you, make bad jokes with you... Is that too much to ask for? I wonder...

And maybe... Once we are close enough I want to thank you. I want to thank you and to tell you everything.

You don't know yet... But you saved me. Without you I wouldn't be here. Even after you stopped seeing me, I still was thankful.

That's just one of the many things I want to tell you... I wonder if I can list them all up? Or even if I will ever be able to tell you?

Probably not...

But I still want to. I want to make a list full of things I am not able to tell you... At least not yet. I want to tell a story out of those things... I want you to know everything even if I'm too scared to tell them all.

Because if I did, there would be that small probability of you leaving me again...

That's why I want to write them down. In a manner as if you were to read this someday.

Here's my list of things I can't, couldn't and also probably never will tell you...

Here's our story.