Things I couldn't tell you || Haikyuu!! fanfiction

Number 6

Number 6 of the things I couldn't tell you: At some point I was scared of you

Well... Not exactly scared of you.

"The arcade seems like a really nice idea right now." Eri stretched as we walked off the school grounds. I laughed. "Didn't you say you wanted to study for entrance exams?"

Rather I was scared of seeing you once again.

We were in the last year of middle school. It wouldn't take long until a new chapter in our lives would start.

I was scared of what you would think of me...

Eri looked at me and pouted. "But that's exactly the reason why we should go! We won't be going to the same school, right?" I stared at the ground. "Well... You see I really do want to go to Nekoma Highschool and--" but before I could finish, she cut me off. "Yeah... I get it. Going to a school near the center of Tokyo seems nice but I think living the city life just doesn't do it for me."

I was scared of whether you changed.

I laughed. "You know if you want to go to the arcade, we'll also have to go near the center of Tokyo." Her lips formed a smile. "See? I'm already making an exception just to go to the arcade with you so we just have to go!"

I was scared of whether you'd forgotten me.

She grabbed my wrist and dragged me towards the train station. "You just live a few stops away from the arcade anyways!" I sighed in defeat knowing that I probably wouldn't be able to change her mind.

I was scared of catching feelings for you again...

As we arrived at the right station Eri stretched. She began to sing happily. "DDR! DDR! I'm on my way for you, honey!" I didn't know whether to laugh about the fact that she called her favourite arcade game "honey" or rather about the fact that she'll be having some aching muscles the next day.

I was scared of finding out that my feelings for you actually never left...

I tried to catch up to her. "It's been a while since we've gone to the arcade together." We walked out of the station. "Right? See, that's just another reason to go there!" A cheeky grin formed on her lips as we walked through the crowd of people.

And in fact... They really never did.

There were quite a lot of people despite the fact that it wasn't even rush hour yet. So many different sounds seemed to come from every side around me. And yet, as it my mind was able to filter out familiar voices...

They still were there.

"You see, and suddenly he saved the ball out of no where! It was so weird, I didn't even see him!" And the second I turned towards where the voice was coming from, everything seemed to stop. Time. The moving crowd. My breath. The only thing seeming to go quicker and quicker was my heartbeat as I saw the young male with the black bed-hair I used to know all too well.

Yet the fact that you were almost just beside me made me believe that I was dreaming.

The young male was tall, way taller than he was when I still knew him. Right beside him was another young male. He had a different school uniform than the other one. His hair was bleached and his roots were slightly visible. But rather than focusing on the black haired male, he was staring into his playstation.

And it was probably at that moment I realized that I would never be able to reach out to you, no matter how hard I tried.

While the dark haired continued talking, both walked into the train station. All I could do was follow them with my gaze and see how their figures grew smaller and smaller.

And then I came to realize that even though my heart was beating so quickly, I didn't feel anything.

"--ka? Kasuka?" A hand suddenly waved in front of my face. I glanced to Eri.

I didn't feel anxious...

She seemed a bit confused. "Did you know them?"

I didn't feel left out.

"Them?" Eri sighed. "Duh, you were staring at those two guys in a way you could not not notice."

I didn't feel sad.

I bit on my lip. "No, I just..." I wasn't able to finish my sentence. Eri was just staring at me.

It was rather probably the thought that I now was not part of your world anymore that let my heart put up a defense mechanism to not get hurt.

Suddenly a smug grin crept up her face. "Oh? So that's your type of guy?"
She snickered. "Wait... What?"

After all I was almost sure that I would never become part of the world you were now in, anymore.

"Which one was it? The black haired one or the one with the playstation?"

Nor would you be part of mine...

"I just... Uhh..." I didn't know how to answer. "I prefer the nerdy one with the playstation! I'm sure he'd be great at arcade games." Eri smiled mischievously.

That was one of the things I was almost sure about.

"But I wouldn't blame you for liking the other one. He was tall! But just what was up with his hair?"

And maybe that's just how things were supposed to be.

At that comment I had to laugh. "Probably just a habit he had for years..." Eri's eyes widened. "So you do know him!!"

Maybe I should never be part of your world, nor should you be part of mine.

I shook my head. "I don't."

Maybe I was not supposed to feel anything for you anymore.

My eyes sunk to the ground as Eri tilted her head in disbelief. "I mean I used to know him... At least I think I do! I'm not even sure if he is the right person." I laughed it off.

Maybe we weren't supposed to meet anymore after you left the riverside.

I felt how Eri put a hand on my shoulder. "Look, I have no idea what's happened between both of you... And maybe I'm also not supposed to say this but..." She looked me deep into the eyes.

But there was still that little spark of hope that never seemed to fade.

"That's nothing a round of Dance Dance Revolution won't solve!" She grinned at me.

And it made me want to believe all sort or things...

As she walked ahead, I felt a warm feeking in my breast. Probably mixed with a bit of sadness. "Eri..."

Which was probably the reason why I started hoping for us to be a possibility.

She turned around as I continued my sentence. "I'm gonna be lonely without you around in high school."

And the reason why I wanted to believe that fate exists even for a person like me.

"Idiot. Just answer my texts, okay? We'll still meet tons of times!" I laughed at that comment which just seemed to typical for her. "Yeah... You're right."

After all... It did.

Right?