Things I couldn't tell you || Haikyuu!! fanfiction

Number 7

Number 7 of the things I couldn't tell you: I didn't want to catch feelings for you again.

...And yet I did.

I sighed as I finally reached the school gates. The entrance exams would only start in half an hour so I was fine.
"Good morning. I'm taking entrance exams here." I greeted a teacher standing beside the gate. He smiled. "Good morning. Could I see your admission ticket then?" I nodded. "Sure." I grabbed into my bag and looked for my wallet in which I kept the ticket. "Huh...?" It was gone. My heart started racing. "Wait... This can't be true. I'm sure I packed my wallet into my bag, then why..."

And it honestly makes me wonder.

The teacher looked at me with a worried expression. "I'm sorry but it's against the rules letting someone attend the exams without an admission ticket..." Just as I was about to break into tears, someone talked.

How come we always end up meeting each other.

"This is yours... Isn't it Kasuka?" I looked up to see a young male standing in front of me. His hair was dyed blond and some black roots were showing. Half of his face was covered by a scarf. But I remembered seeing someone similar when going to the arcade with Eri.

The boy stepped closer and gave me my wallet. I looked up to the boy again. He slightly pulled his scarf down to reveal a soft smile on his lips. "It's been a while, hasn't it? Who would've known you're also attending entrance exams to Nekoma Highschool."

Honestly, I didn't know how to feel at that moment.

"Kenma..." He seemed to sigh out of relief. "I wouldn't have been surprised if you weren't able to recognize me. How long has it been? Ten years? Ah, though I heard from Kuroo a few years ago that he was meeting you. But that's also been quite a while."

Should I have been shocked?

"Yeah... I haven't seen him for quite a while." The memories of me meeting him after school at the riverside made me feel warm. Yet at the same time they made my heart ache a bit.

Should I have been devastated?

Kenma fumbled around in his bag. "Well... I guess you'll get to see him soon again." He gave his admission ticket to the teacher who inspected it.

Should I have been scared?

"What... Do you mean?" After the teacher handed him back the ticket he looked a bit surprised. "Huh? You didn't know?"

Should I have run away?

"Kuroo is attending Nekoma Highschool."

Because as soon as I found out about that little fact my mind seemed to go crazy.

My eyes widened and my lips began to tremble. "What...?"

I don't know why I reacted like that back then. I was happy after all... Incredibly happy! But...

The teacher smiled at me. "Miss, do you have your admission ticket again?" I shrugged and frantically pulled it out of my wallet to give it to the teacher. "S-sorry..."

I was scared at the same time.

Kenma turned his head towards me. "He's a year above us of course."

Really... Really scared.

The teacher handed me back my ticket and I followed Kenma. He sighed. "He talked me into attending this Highschool to join the volleyball club. Really, that guy... All he thinks of is that game."

And when I think back I honestly have no idea why exactly I was so scared of meeting you again.

I smiled a bit. "It's nice knowing though that I'll have at least two people I know at this school."

Was I scared of rejection?
Of you not wanting to talk to me anymore?

Kenma nodded in agreement before we entered the exam room. "Good luck, Kasuka."

No... I think what I was most scared of was not being the same with you as we were before.

I smiled. "Same goes for you."

I just wanted it to be like when we were kids.

We walked towards our assigned seats.

I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to have fun with you, I wanted to share inside jokes with you and relive memories that we had when we were much younger.

There were already a few students. No one seemed to be wearing school uniform from the middle school I attended from before. I sighed. And at that moment I really didn't know whether the stress I felt at that moment was because of the exam or because of a certain dark haired boy I couldn't seem to forget, even after all those years.

I didn't want to lose all of that just because of some stupid crush I had a few years ago.
I didn't want my feelings to get in the way of everything.

It probably was both...

After all you still saved me.
That's the thing I knew for sure.

A few moments later a teacher entered the room. He checked the list of attendants before explaining the rules to the exam.

And I wanted to be friends with you again, no matter what. I wanted to get closer to you. I wanted to be part of your world again, even though I probably never was before.

"You may now turn your papers and begin." I took a deep breath before doing so.

And the only way to do so was to forget about my selfish, one-sided feelings I had for you back then.

There was no way I would miss this chance to be with them again...

I wasn't allowed to fall for you again.
I didn't want to ruin our friendship by having feelings for you that a friend wouldn't have for another friend.

I would definitely attend Nekoma Highschool.

...

And I would definitely become friends with both of them again.

And yet these feelings still were there.

That's the goal I set for myself.
That's the goal I was going to reach for once I attend this highschool.

They never left.

I took a pen out of my pencil case and inhaled deeply.

...

"Here we go."

Stupid feelings.