Is this love?

Why do you care? ::2::

--Authors note--

Hi brats. i finally got a computer and my family problems have died down so ill be updating more than usual sense i have nothing else to do. i apologize for my absence but lets get into the chapter shall we

*Mentally prepares to be triggered by my own story*

;-;

--Erens P.O.V--

my dad left after beating me like an animal. I crawled into the bathroom and used the sinks counter to lift myself off the ground. I shut and locked the door and looked at myself in the mirror. Blood slid down from the corners of my chapped lips. tears slid from my once aquatic eyes but are now layered with a dull color. My neck had my dads hand mark on it but i knew it would go away. I lifted up my shirt to see further damage. My trembling hands reached for the cabinet and I slowly opened it, retriveing the first aid kit from the bottom. I began aiding myself, wrapping bandages around my neck and replacing the bandages that covered my scars. Yes, my scars. I have been self harming ever sense i was 10 and people have made fun of me but i ignore them. i don't have so many scars because i rarely cut in different places but they were still prominent.

at least my face isn't bruised

I thought to myself before combing my hair along with resuming my morning, brushing my teeth and washing my blood stained lips and hands.I looked out the bathroom door before rushing to my room across the hallway to put on my clothes and retrieve my navy blue shoulder bag. My outfit consisted of black skinny jeans and a white and black checkered shirt that Mikasa gave me on my birthday. Mikasa was my best friend along with Armin. they were my only friends but it was fine with me even if people made fun of me for it. I was the schools bulling thing and Mikasa was extremely protective over me but couldn't always be there for me. after getting ready snatched my phone from my nightstand and connected my black headphones to the headphone port before cautiously leaving the house without my dad noticing. After closing the door behind me and locking it I scrolled threw my music and tapped on "Holding On To You" By Twenty One Piolets. I always thought about my mom when he played this song. Beautiful long cinnamon hair, shimmering golden eyes, and that warm smile that she always had when we were a happy family. when my dad wasn't selling my mom and beating her when she refused. when i wasnt a punching bag for his angry self.

I miss you so much mom..so im holding on to you with this key.....

I walked down the sidewalk to my school and entered the front doors.

"OH look its the little suicidal boy!" Jean yelled and his group bursted into laughter. His group consisted of Marco, Sasha, and Connie. I just looked down and walked to the breakfast room ignoring his shitty comments. when i walked in threw the double doors and all eyes shot at me. Everybody spat their rude comments but i just ignored. i was used to this. I saw my two friends waving at me from the back at the far right corner so i walked that direction. the only thing i didn't like about the table was the table that was next to us which was Erwins group. the group had 4 members, Petra; the schools cheer leader leader. Hange; the second smartest kid, i was the first smartest. Erwin; the schools basketball leader. And Levi Ackerman, The schools football captian and my crush. The thing is that Levi an Petra were dating and it made me sad i just payed no mind because i was way out of his league anyways. As i walked to my table Erwin walked up to me and laughed.

"look its Jeager, any new cuts?" he spoke loudly as he pulled on my bandages and exposed my cuts that i cut today. i walked by him but he turned around and kicked my back harshly causing me to fall forward, face first. the the room filled with laughs and a tear streamed down my face. Mikasa growled and stood up but i nodded my head no and she sat back down giving me sad sympathetic look. Erwin laughed and walked back to his group, all of them staring at me. i picked up the bandage from the floor and stood up, wrapping it around my new wounds and walking to my table slowly due to the immense pain shooting threw my back. i looked at his table and saw Levi looking right back at me. His arm was wrapped around Petra and another tear slid down my cheek. He raised an eyebrow but I just turned away and rushed to mt table.

"Eren! are you ok?" Mikasa and Armin asked at the same time. i wiped the tears away from my face and nodded as i put on a fake smile. i sat in my seat. it was infront of Mikasa and Armin so i was facing directly at Erwins table.

the bell rang and MIkasa and Armin gave me goodbyes and said we would talk at lunch. there were always ten minutes before class after the bell rang so i went to the bathroom and decided to replace my bandages and wash my cuts. As i took of my bandages Levi walked in but i acted as if i didn't notice. i took my bandages off, revealing my scared wrist and he looked directly at them, examining the skinny lines.

"Why do you self harm?" he asked leaning against the wall. I didnt answer, instead i just kept washing my wounds.

"What makes you want to self harm?" Levi asks. I kept ignoring him, aiding my wrists with bandages and wrapping around my wrist with gauge.

"Answer me Eren!" He shouted at me and I zipped up my shoulder bag and looked at him.

"Why do you care!" I shouted back.
"All you do is stay in your little group and watch as your 'group leader' beats the shit out of me every time I walk by. Why do you care about me. Why do you want to know about me! If you want to know about me than how about you try being nice for a change!" I shouted tears streaming down my face.
"You want to know and but you just watch me get hurt? You don't know how it feels to live my life Levi so stop screwing around with me!" I choked out between my sobs and picked up my shoulder bag running past him.

••AUTHORS NOTE••
I feel so triggered by my own story rn lol.
I hope you guys enjoyed and I shall update very soon! Thank you for reading!!!😊😊
Love'
Levi0Hechiou