He, Illiterate (KHR Headcanon)

His Hidden Self

Mukuro had a secret. A secret he believed he could keep for a very, very long time. After all, it was something that would cause him the worst of embarrassments in his entire life.

He's kept it for 17 years, after all. He was confident he could hide it forever.

But when Rokudo Mukuro officially joined the Vongola as a Mist Guardian, this secret quickly came into light.

------

"Man, I'm hungry!" Yamamoto Takeshi stretched, yawning. "But at least, I finished up all my reports!" he grinned, proud of himself.

"Tch," Gokudera Hayato tutted in annoyance, "Reports, reports. Because of YOU, I have to do the accounting records for the freaking bills you piled up!" he yelled at the Rain Guardian, irritated.

"Well, to be fair, half of the destruction was from you, Hayato!" Takeshi laughed boisterously, unaffected by the harsh reprimand he had received.

The two were on their way to the dining hall, because it would soon be dinnertime. According to the Vongola Rules, (as regulated by the Cloud Guardian), no one is allowed to miss Dinners during the weekend unless they were on a job.

And just then, the door right by them opened. It was the room of none other than Rokudo Mukuro, who had just awoken from a nap.

"Oh, good morning, Mukuro!" Takeshi greeted.

"What on earth, you've been sleeping this whole time? While we were helling away on paperwork?" Hayato scowled, angered at the impartial treatment.

"Chill, Hayato," Takeshi assured him, "Mukuro and Chrome only returned from Mexico three hours ago, y'know?" he informed the Storm Guardian.

Mukuro yawned, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, chuckling slightly. "Your loud voices woke me up, so could you please lower the volume?" he said, obviously not in the mood for this nonsense. Bags lined the bottom of his mismatched eyes, and he looked grumpy, his hair sticking up in some messy, irritated bedhair.

But Hayato did not care for night owls. Instead, he frowned. "Mukuro, have you done the paperwork that was assigned to you?" he groaned out.

"Nope. My dear Chrome seems to have completed it for me." was Mukuro's prompt response. "Now, could you please-"

"Eh?" Takeshi was exaggeratedly taken aback, "I thought you were the kind that's rather do it all than toss it all on Chrome." he pointed out. Sure enough, he didn't think that Mukuro would be the kind to ditch work and dump it all on the girl he held precious.

"The hell?" Hayato groaned, "You're not supposed to do that!" he reprimanded, "What on earth are you doing, throwing all your work on a girl?"

Mukuro was irked now. "I am not. Nagi volunteered, in fact, and I just gave in to her wishes." he explained, but Hayato wasn't one to just give in.

"Jesus, are you stupid? You're not supposed to just say yes to that! You should learn some common sense!" Hayato retorted.

"For God's sake-- Stay out of my business!"

"The Tenth worries about Chrome!" Hayato argued, "I'm not letting you increase the Boss' stress because of your selfish tendencies!"

"Why would I care about the Boss' stress? My blood pressure is fucking rising because of your octopus hair!" Mukuro argued back.

"Ah, Mukuro went out of character." Takeshi noticed.

"Octo-- I don't wanna head that from you, Pineapple!" Hayato pointed accusingly.

"Okay, WHAT is the problem here?!" a fourth voice intervened, a loud, booming tone instantly ensuing silence in the whole mansion.

The three Guardians stopped.

"Oh, Tsuna." Takeshi greeted.

Hayato quickly snapped over in a low bow towards his boss, not lifting his head. "I apologize, Tenth!" he yelled, "I apologize for the noise!"

Mukuro sighed. "Decimo," he addressed, "I'm just going back to sleep."

Tsuna raised an eyebrow skeptically. "I take it you two were fighting? That's rare." he said, "Usually, it'd be Mukuro and Kyouya."

Hayato lifted his head and pointed at Mukuro, "Actually, Tenth--" he decided to report, a glare shot at the blue-haired, "Mukuro has been laying off all his paperwork to Chrome."

This made Tsuna even more confused. "Is that true, Mukuro?" he asked. He wasn't angry or anything-- just, huh? Why would he? and to Chrome, of all people?

Mukuro sighed, "Yes, I have." he admitted. He didn't sound guilty or anything-- just, tired.

"And, would you mind if I ask why?" Tsuna sounded hesitant in asking.

Mukuro sighed. Ten years in, and this kid still didn't know how to act authoritatively, like a Boss. If he keeps treating us like friends, who knows when I'll decide to aim for total Mafia destruction again--

"Yes, I do. I mind a lot." Mukuro answered simply.

This made Tsuna think. This made Tsuna curious. "Hey, Mukuro," he spoke up, "I've been wondering, but..."

"Hm?" Mukuro put on his thin smile, awaiting the next part of the sentence.

"You've never submitted a report to me before." Tsuna pointed out, "Even if I ask for it, Chrome does it because she goes on the same missions... And when I review paperwork, I don't think I've ever seen your signature on any of them."

Mukuro froze, his features stale on his face.

"Well, uhm, if I remember, your family was a dark one that didn't give you much freedom," Tsuna mumbled to himself now, "You attended Kokuyo Junior High for a year or two, but you skipped out on tryouts for high school... And well, soon after that you were in the Vendicare and all..."

Mukuro's arms were crossed as he leaned against the wall, but now he just couldn't-- move.

Oh no. His smile was warping out of shape now in nervousness.

"Ah-" Tsuna realized something, "This is pretty sensitive and all so I'm sorry if I sound rude--"

"What are you trying to say, Tsuna?" Takeshi chimed in curiously.

At that, Tsuna fiddled with his finger hesitantly, "Uh, Mukuro," he started, swallowing his words now, "Have you... ever been properly educated?"

The whole world stopped spinning.

The temperature dropped a few degrees.

Mukuro felt his stomach drop.

Like robots with rusted gears, the two shellshocked Guardians slowly turned to Mukuro, racketing joints and their mouths hanging open in what the fuck?

Mukuro sighed. He calmly turned around and stepped back into the room-- then he slammed his door shut. And with a click, they knew it was locked.

Instantly, Hayato burst into laughing, cracking up like a buffoon, holding his stomach, unable to stop the endless jeering that he couldn't hold back.

Takeshi was still frozen, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging slightly agape as thoughts flew through his mind: I'm... I'm smarter than Mukuro?

Tsuna was hastily knocking at Mukuro's door.

"Wait, Mukuro, I'm sorry! I'll apologize, so please don't commit suicide or anything!" he called desperately, "I didn't mean to suddenly expose you!"

God, Tsuna, you're making it worse.