SIN

A Confession

Though I may read, write, and watch porn, I've never actually imagined someone I know in a sexual manner until somewhere around the end of last year.

School day.
Early morning.
Raining.

It was a cold, wet morning. I was the first few early birds in class and I'm just chilling (literally) in my seat when this guy I really liked arrived. He was wearing a baggy hoodie with the hood up, and when he got to his seat, he pulled the hood down. He was on the same row as me so I really got a good look at him, and damn was he a sight.

He still had this sleepy look and his hair was a mess--bed hair. And I just thought: HO. LY. SHIT. FUCK ME. It just came out of no where and I was so shocked that I just started gaping at him. And then I focused on his head and how amazing it would feel to run my fingers through his curls.

The guy wasn't even hot, he's this super tall and awkward noodle cinnamon whatever and he didn't even have sex appeal to begin with. ZERO. And how DARE HE MAKE ME FEEL SUDDENLY UNCOMFORTABLE IN ALL THE RIGHT/WRONG PLACES.

Now, whenever I had a crush on someone, it's basically innocent because I focus on attitude and characteristics like: he's so nice, polite, gentle, awkward, goofy, ADORKABLE, etc. Also, the person I have a crush on is also pretty much innocent because they get flustered when it comes to anything pervy.

But AGAIN HOW DARE THIS BEAUTIFUL CINAMON ROLL AWAKEN MY SEXUAL DESIRE AND ITA NOT EVEN HIS FAULT FOR BEING SO GODDAMN AMAZING AS A PERSON. HE IS SO PRECIOUS HE NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED BUT I ALSO AT THE SAME TIME WANT TO CURROPT HIM AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Whoa, what a rant.

And just so you know. I came clean to him last month, told him I liked him and partially wanted to curropt him so he better hate me but he just brushed it off and told me he doesn't hate me and now we're friends. Also, I only felt for him in that certain manner once because after that I kept on scolding myself for being such a massive creep.

Yay! I honestly do not make sense.
I promise that the next update will be worth your time though.