Don't You Ever Let Me Go. (Jalex)

What Am I Doing - Chapter 4

[Jack's pov]

So Alex is dating the worlds biggest slut eh? Not like I care, I hate them both. They're both stuck up and are judgemental hurtful pricks, so they're perfect for each other in every way. I don't understand why I even waste my time thinking about scum like them, they aren't worth it. All they do is treat people like shit and take advantage of everything. I can't help but wonder what Alex would be like if he wasn't with the clique and wasn't rich. Would he be down to earth or would he still be an asshole? 

I groaned and stood up from my desk and left. It's already the end of the day and Alex was still sticking to this whole dare. I just wish he would give up already! 

"I told you to leave me alone, Alex Asshole." I groaned and kept walking down the hallway. 

"And I told you this is a dare and I have to be nice, Jack Barakat." He retorted and walked next to me.

I rolled my eyes and walked home, ignoring him the whole way there. I smiled when I saw my house, it's the end of the day now and he has to leave me alone! 

"Well, time to go back to torturing me and making my life hell." I mumbled and walked in my house. 

"How was school?" My mom looked up from her news paper. "Good." I lied and ran up to my bedroom. I fell on my bed, god I can't wait until school is over. No more school, no more teachers, no more bullies, no more Alex, no more hurting. My stomach flipped a little when I thought of 'no more Alex,' I can't even stand to think about him. 

"Jack! Your friend is here!" My mom called from down stairs. I could practically hear the smile in her voice. She's always happy when she sees my friends. Oops, scratch that, I meant friend. Zack.

I ran down stairs. "Hey Zack you wanna--" I stared at the "friend" my mom was talking about. The smile went right off my face and was replaced with a serious look. Alex. "What are you doing here?" I asked rudely. Apparently that was too rude because my mom pushed me out the door with Alex, "Go have fun boys!" She yelled. Before she closed the door on our faces I yelled, "I can make my own friends mom, I just don't like dick heads!" She slapped me then slammed the door on my face. Mothers. 

"Dick heads?" Alex turned to me with a raised eyebrow. 

"Yeah, dick heads, prime example, you and your group of popular kids." I sighed and grabbed my skate board and walked off the porch. 

"I don't try to be a dick head you know, I am trying to be friendly." He half smiled. Oh no no no, he can't just lie like that! I am not falling for his supid games. 

"Yes, because I make friends by telling people to beat them up everyday." I scoffed and turned around. 

"You don't have friends, and you don't try to make them." Alex answered. Yeah, very friendly I see. 

"That's it! Right there! Maybe I don't have friends because I think I'm a fucking failure, all I do is sit around drown in depression, I hate myself for gods sake, if I had friends they would only like me out of pity." I spat and stormed off. I had just admitted to a lot of things I never tell people. I'm so stupid!

I rode my skateboard all the way to an old tree house my dad used to take me to as a kid. I climbed to the top and sat in the corner of the medium sized tree house. I miss my dad, he left me and my mom. He left when I was only about 10 years old, I miss him like crazy. I remember all the good memories I had with him, but especially I remember the day he left. 

*Flash back*

"Jacky." My dad shook me awake. I smiled and looked at him. He looked sad. My smile faded, why was he sad? I sat up in my bed and face him. 

"What's wrong daddy?" I asked. He just stared at me for at least 3 minutes. I've never seen him like this. 

"Well Jacky, Daddy has to go away. For a very long time. Things aren't working out here. I'm sorry." His voice broke and he wiped away a tear that managed to slip out. 

"When am I going to see you again?" I whispered and looked at him in disbelief. 

"If you ever see me again, it won't be for awhile. Just remember, I'll always love you and I'll miss you okay?" I frowned. If. That word, there's something about it I don't like. If, it means things aren't for sure going to happen. If, the word holds broken promises. If, he holds the anger that I might never get to see my father again. If. 

I hugged my dad and gave him a drawing I drew and my stuffed sock monkey. "If I never see you again, I want you to have these. If you come back, just know I'll be older and I still won't forget." 

and with that, those were the last words I said to my father. He slowly got up and walked out of my life. Everyday I asked my mom "when is daddy coming home?" and I would just see the pain in her eyes. I stopped asking when I was 13 and realized, he's never coming home, he left and things just turned horrible. I don't know why he left, where he went, or IF he'll ever come back. But after the many years of his disappearance, I've come to the conclusion I will never see my father again. 

*End of flash back*

I sniffled and tears lined my eyes to blur my vision. 

"Jack?" Someone whispered. My heart pounded in my chest. But then I remembered, dad is gone. All the hope I had just vanished and left me with a shattered heart. 

"Jack?" The voice said, even louder this time. I realized it was Alex. Alex was standing in me and MY dad's treehouse. No one but me, dad, and sometimes Zack when we were little came up here. No one. Everyone knew not to because this was me and my dad's place! And here Alex was, standing in the last thing my dad left behind. I felt the anger rise, he's invading my space, he's ruining the good memories I had up here!

"Go away!!" I yelled. I felt the tears stream down my face. Great, now I'm crying in front of someone who would gladly kick the hell out of me. I'm so stupid, I hate myself. 

"Why are you crying?" He asked and sat down in front of me. 

"Get out! This is my dad and I's place. You can't be here." I cried even harder. Why can't my dad be here? Why does Alex act like he doesn't know what he wants? You can't just beat someone up then act like it never happened and want to be their friend. It just doesn't work like that. 

"Your dad?" Alex whispered. "I've never seen your dad." He finished. 

I decided there's no way in getting rid of him, and there's no way to ever stop the harrassment, plus, I guess I'm sort of getting used to the scheduale of being hated and people beating me up so might as well tell him. 

"You've never seen him because he's gone." I whispered, and choked on my own words. 

"What do you mean?" Alex looked into my eyes. Now looking at him, there's something different. 

"When I was 10 he...He just went away and never came back." I broke our eye contact and looked at the ground. 

"Jack, I had no idea. I'm so sorry." He engulfed me in a soft hug. My stomach did flips, and that made me think. It made me uncomfortable. Here I am, hugging it out with one of my bullies. I just told him tons of things I wouldn't tell my own mother. What am I doing?