My Beast My Lycan *Wattys2017* [EDITING]

Chapter Forty

Copyright © Lilliboo_24 2017 South-Africa

❤⏺❤⏺❤

_____________________________

C h a p t e r   F o r t y
M y  B e a s t  M y  L y c a n

The past view days were hell. Not only did I kill someone, but I enjoyed doing it. Nightmares of my doing haunted me. I may have enjoyed it, but I still have a conscience.

Alex covered up the whole death and explained to the elders why I did it. Luckily for me they understood. The Beta, Matthew, was sentenced to death and he was killed a day ago.

Kate took over my wedding plans giving me time to absorb everything. Tomorrow I would marry my mate. Who would have thought? Definitely not me.

"You sleeping at a hotel tonight right?" Cass asked.

Oh and did I mention her?

She was the sweetest girl alive. I haven't told Mark or Dameon about her, reason being that I wanted her as a surprise.

She has been staying with us in the meantime aswell as her mother. Her mother who I've come to finds name is Marra, wasn't taking all this lightly. Who would?

She knew she was dying. Her wolf wouldn't be able to live without her mate, but Cass says that she's strong and she hopes that she's enough reason to try.

"Yeah. You're coming with." I smiled.

"Why?" She frowned. Did I mention she's incredibly unaware of life.

"The girls are having a bachelorette party for me."

"Isn't it supposed to be a surprise?"

"Yeah. But Kate's got her head up in Tyler's balls, she doesn't even noticed the words coming out of her mouth." I snorted.

"What?" Cass asked confused.

"It's an expression, my own, but still an expression. It just means she's thinking about Tyler way to much to snap out of it. It's making her stupid." I smiled at the blonde female before me.

"Arra, can I ask you something?" Cass looked at her fingers avoiding eye contact.

"Sure. What's on your mind?"

"What if he doesn't want me back?" Her sad eyes shot up to mine.

"Then he doesn't deserve you. But I promise he will. You have no idea how bad he wants his mate." I stroked her arm in comfort.

"And what if he wants sex? I don't know if I'm ready for that." I understood what she was going through. People had a different way of handling things, but I knew what she was going through.

"He won't pressure you. He's not that type of guy."

"How does it feel?" She tilted her head in question.

"How does what feel? Sex?"

"Well, no, and yes. What I mean is what does it feel like to have sex with your mate. How does it feel to have a mate."

"Sex with Alex is undescribable. To say it's beyond amazing does not do it justice. It's a whole different feeling. It's no longer just sex, but rather a way of connection, a way of showing something beyond love, something more. I've never orgasmed this way in my life. And well having a mate sucks. Or it did in the beginning for me.

Because no matter what he did wrong, no matter how he treated me, I couldn't stop wanting him. In a way it's self-destructive. But at the same time it's completely and utterly amazing. You have that someone who knows how you feel without you needing to tell them. There is this unconditional love that you know you'll always share. It's a connection like no other. To me it's worse than a drug, but you choose whether it's going to destroy you or not."

"It sounds so, so intoxicating." Cass gestured with her hands.

"Oh it is. But don't be afraid to let it in. Dameon is a good guy." I smiled at her.

He is. He's one of the few men that loves without boundaries. People always say marry the man you want to have children with. Someone you would want your children to look up to. He's one of those men.

"You know, I could feel it." Cass looked up at me.

"Feel what?"

"I could sense emotions. It's a gift. You love him?" She tilted her head at me. "What happened?"

"He was there for me when Alex wasn't. But..." I moved my head left and right looking for the words.

"You're mate will always be your mate." Cass filled in.

"Yeah. The love I have or had is nothing compared to what I have with Alex. And in the end I gave in to the mate bond. And I'm glad I did."

"Why?"

"Because if I didn't then I would have mated Dameon and you would still live in that horrible pack. I got to save someone else because of it." I smiled at her.

"Things happen for a reason." Cass almost whispered.

"What?" I curiously asked.

"You know. Things happen for a reason. Everything good or bad has made you who you are. All the things that happened in your life happened for a reason. You met and you lost people in order for you to meet others, or to succeed certain things. You know my life was living hell, but if it wasn't the way it was I would have accepted Dameon from the start and you wouldn't have shared what you shared and maybe just maybe things would've turned out worse for you. And I don't think you deserve worse." Cass looked at her hands as she talked.

"Maybe if something changed, whether it was a situation or a person, things wouldn't be as they are now. You wouldn't be who you are and where you are. Your strength and wisdom would have been different than it is now." Cass continued. "I'm grateful for everything that has happened to me. Because having you step into my life isn't something I would want to change."

I hugged her tight. This broken girl in front of me, her brokenness is something I can relate to. And that is all we need to survive, someone who understands.

It's true. Things do happen for a reason. Maybe if my parents didn't die I would've never been in America and never have met Alex. Never have met everyone I have in my life. I wouldn't have had Gavin as a brother. And if Alex didn't shove me away I probably still would've thought to be human. I wouldn't have gone out with Mark and meet Dameon. So many things could change just because a small moment never happened.

And I am happy with my life right now. I'm happy with the people who are in it. I know because of every bad situation I am as strong as I am now. I know because of all the people who tried to break me, I was able to prove them wrong. I met the people in my life because I needed them or they needed me. I am who I am because of my life and I would never in a million years want to change even the smallest, nor worst, part of it. This is me and this is my life and I'm proud of both.