Never Got To Say (One direction fan-fiction)

Chapter 2

Her blue eyes had tears in them and I wanted to hug her so, so bad. But they were setting her up with all these monitors right then. So, I couldn't hug her telling her everything was going to be all right at the same time. I could only tell her that everything was alright which to me never seemed right without a hug involved. I never knew I was crying till she spoke. "Styles don't cry everything will be alright." That just made me cry even more. I noticed the nurse looking at the monitor and she bit her lip. "Um.... just a second. I am going to get a doctor." The nurse left leaving me and April totally alone. I went to April then and hugged her. It was hard for me to say the words that I had to say to her. "What is the verdict?" "They are just setting me up Harry. They don't know why I am having these symptom's even." I could tell from the look in her eyes she was trying to think of anything to say without making me even more upset. "Does anyone know why you had to leave? No. I just said to them a friend went to the hospital and I had to be there with them. Well that is not a lie. Yeah I know it defiantly isn't a lie." A young doctor then walked in and looked at me and then at April and shook his head slowly. His eyes showed deep sadness. "Your nurse that was setting you up April found something alarming." "Like what?" Her voice was getting higher pitched which told me she was going to break down and start crying. "Let me just check your virial's as the nurse could have been wrong April. Is that alright?" "Yeah I guess." The doctor then finally noticed me standing in the room. "Why are you here Mr. Styles?" April looked at me and I looked right back at her. I said the first thing that was on my mind. "Um why am I here?" Yes, why are you here?" I looked at the young doctor and sighed. The truth had to come out eventually I knew that. But I wasn't ready to tell anyone about April's and my baby. I wanted to protect my unborn baby and April as long, as possible. This was the day the truth had to be told and I knew that now. "I am the baby's dad and I love this woman with all my heart. We are having a daughter. It is a high-risk pregnancy I know. But we both wanted a child to call our own." The doctor was taken aback from my confession. April grabbed my shoulder. At first I thought she did that because she was shocked at what I said. But as soon as I looked at her I knew something was very wrong. "Doctor. Um.... help. Yeah will do." He took her vitals and bit his bottom lip. "April how far long are you? Around seven months." I knew right then something was really wrong with April and possibly the baby. Which really made me worry. "Um I am going to have do a Ct scan. It can be risky for the fetus. But it is something I can't postpone till after the baby's born." I nodded my head slowly. The doctor put in for the CT scan as an emergency that needed to be done right away. Which made me worry even more about April's health. When they wheeled her off to get the CT scan. I finally decided to call her father. Which I should have done a few hours ago. But never. He answered on the first ring. His question right off the back was something I knew he was going to ask. "Harry what is wrong with my daughter? Um well she is getting a Ct scan done right as we speak. Oh shit. Harry what are her symptom's? Um dizziness, blurred vision, her blood pressure was high and she could not feel her leg. I think just a few minutes ago she went blind for a few seconds. But she never told anyone about that. Also, her memory is not as it was this morning." Telling her farther this took a big weight off my chest. "Um Harry I am flying out there fast. What is wrong with her?" I could tell he was agitated with me but his voice never really changed. "Get a pen and paper. I have her medical book. Just write this word down." I wrote what he said down on a blank piece of paper in her medical book. I had to get proper spelling of it as I never heard of it before let alone know how to spell it. He told me before we hung up do not worry. Everything will be alright. When she was wheeled back in she looked at me with very sad eyes. "Harry lie down with me I am scared. No darling not right now. I am too concerned right now to even sit down let alone lay down beside you. Your dad is coming. He's alive? Yes honey he is. He is worried about you and so am I." I drew things on her palm of her hand till the doctor came in. When the doctor came in his face was grim. "We got the test results." My stomach again had that sickening feeling in it. "What is it doctor? Tell us it straight out please." I saw the doctor bite his lip and nodded his head at us before speaking. "I have had five people look at the results of her blood work, her vitals' I have taken and her Cat scan. It is the first any one of them have seen. It is something that I have no idea what to do about and the neurologist doesn't either." He was beating around the bush I could tell. But I could tell it was not good news from his last statement he had said. "Who is her mother? That might help us out if we knew that because then I could figure out if it stems from there." I fingered through the pages of her medical book that I had in hand. But then April spoke. "Emily. Her name was Emily" The doctor tapped his pen on the clipboard trying to think if that name rung any bells in his head. I knew I had to step in then to show him what I written down from the phone call I had minutes ago. "Um I was on the phone with her father and he got me to write this word down. It might help you guys figure out what is going on." The doctor nodded his head towards me. Which meant that he wanted to see what I wrote on the paper. So I showed him the word even if I had no idea if that was the clue he needed. "Okay I got it now. Now Styles you got to make a tough decision." I gulped. I knew it was bad when it was not April's decision to make. But mine. I couldn't mess this up for her. "What is the decision I have to make?" "You can either let us do an emergency C section and then an emergency brain surgery on April or we admit her for the reminder of the time till the baby is born. Those are the only two options we have. I am sorry." I looked at April and her eyes were spewing tears down her cheeks. The doctor grabbed her a box of Kleenex and handed it to her. I was just numb. She spoke then very, very softly but we all could hear what she was saying still. "I can't be like her. I just can't be." I put my hand on her's trying to comfort her to my best of my ability. But I knew it wouldn't work with a decision like this over our heads to make. "Who can't you be?" "Butterfly I can't be like her. I can't." "Who is Butterfly?" I was only twenty-two years old but I knew the feeling of losing someone. Sadly, I was having that feeling like I was losing the love of my life. I looked at her in the eyes holding both of her hands and told her she could tell me anything including who butterfly was. It was what she needed as she spoke a few seconds after I said that. "She had part of her brain removed after countless brain surgery's and cancer's. I can't be like her I can't be." I looked to the doctor then needing to know what was wrong with my loves brain. "What is wrong with her brain?" Tears were prickling my eyes threatening to fall down my cheeks. "She has two tumors." The doctor then turned to April. "April if you choose to go the route I would recommend I will just be taking the tumors. No part of your brain will be removed and chemotherapy may not be necessary at all. What the radiologist thinks is that the tumors are benign. But they are causing you all these problems right now. But it is your guy's choice not mine. I will leave you two to make it." Before the doctor left I had to ask him something that was now plaguing my mind. "Doctor if it is what her dad told me to write down then what are the chances my daughter will be effected by it?" The doctor looked sad but still smiled. "It effects girls more than boys so it is highly likely." "Oh okay." As he walked away I looked at April rubbing her baby bump. "Harry I know what I want to do." My heart skipped a beat when she said that. "What is it darling" "If you promise me you will love me bald and you will spend every spare second you have here. Even if you have to piss off your fans and management to do so. I would like to do the surgery." I wanted to curl up back in my bed and close my eyes and be upset and sad about possibly losing April. But I had to stay strong and answer her. So I pulled my self together the best I could do. "I would love you no matter what and I would do anything for my two beautiful girls. I love you guys both so much." She smiled sadly at me and rubbed her belly again. "She is going to be a preemie Harry." I sighed. The reality of my daughter being preemie hitting me just then. "I know she will. But what can we do." "Will you be able to take care of her if I die on the operating table?" I wanted to shut my ears off to those words. But I knew she was saying them out of fear for her life and fear for how I would cope raising a child on my own. "Yeah I love her. She is my daughter April. But you are not going to die on that operating table." I had let my tears show in my eyes I could tell by how she gripped my hand then. "Linda did die during brain surgery. My mom did too." I was crying then. I couldn't help it. I never wanted to talk about her dying on that table. She was my soul mate I knew it. "You are different though." "Harry I had my will made when you were on tour. I got everything written out. My lawyer knows what I want for my funeral. You just have to make the plans darling." I was shocked she made a will up and also knew what she wanted for her funeral. Any twenty two year old never planned their own funeral. But April had. "But you are not going to...." Something clicked in my head and I couldn't help but ask her. "Wait you knew?" All I needed was that slight head nod that she did know about the tumors. But she spoke not letting my sorrow and anger at her not telling me sooner come out. "I knew I had one tumor since I was kid. It was not growing and we thought it was something I was born with. I never knew about the other one. I nodded my head too sad now to let out the anger I had. "So I guess we need names for our little peanut then?" "Yeah I guess we do." This was becoming so surreal to me. Everything was going too fast for my liking and I could not slow it down at all. "So Harry what names do you like for a girl?" Right then my phone started ringing. When I checked, who was calling it was Louis. I looked at April. Her eyes full of understanding. "Answer it Styles." I answered it on the last ring after trying to compose myself. "Hey man what is up?" "Harry we need to practice and you are not here the manager is freaking right out. You need to get here now!" I closed my eyes. This was going to be the most difficult conversation I would have on the phone in a long while. "Louis I am not coming." "Why not?" "You know that girl you met today?" "Yeah." "She is in the hospital and I am with her right now." I had a feeling Louis could hear my voice cracking as I spoke. "She is a one night stand man. Why don't you just leave and come here?" "She is not a one night stand Lou. She and I have been together for two years." I got up right then and left the room I couldn't be in April's room as I continued the conversation. "Lou I am going to be a dad in possibly a day at the latest to a daughter. She is going to be a preemie. As April is having life threatening health problems." I never knew I was crying till he asked what was wrong. "Lou she needs brain surgery. My love needs brain surgery and I was not there for her through all the months she was expecting because of the tour." "Harry what can I do to help?" "Louis in my flat, in my night stand it is on the right side underneath the papers there is a small ring box. Could you bring it to me?" "Yeah sure. Are you going to propose to her?" I took in a very shaky breath before saying I was going to. "Harry do you want me to leave and get it now?" "If you can." I hated asking someone to get something so simple that I should been able to do under any normal circumstances. But these were not normal ones and I needed the help and support of my friends to get this done. "There is nothing going on Styles so I will be there in an hour." "Thanks. We are in room 210." "Okay Harry be their soon. Bye" I couldn't even say bye back as he hung up before I could. I sighed and looked around the area I was in. A dad with a toddler on his hip was just coming out of a room. He looked like he hardly had slept and the toddler was clinging to his neck like a baby monkey. He caught me starring and pointed to me. Not knowing why for a second. But then the toddler looked at me and giggled. I smiled then knowing it was because I was Harry Styles. I heard the man speak to his daughter ever so softly and kind. "You want to meet him June?" That little girl nodded her head with such enthusiasm it warmed my heart right up. "I am sorry to bug you Mr. Styles but my daughter loves One Direction music and it would be greatly appreciated if she can say hi to you. It is the only way she falls asleep since her mother went into the hospital." My heart broke for this young dad with a young daughter and a wife in a hospital. "What is wrong with her mum?" "Um she had brain surgery six months ago." I couldn't believe my luck with finding another man with a love in the hospital fathering a daughter single handily. "How is she doing?" The man sighed then. "It is a slow process that is for sure. She is just learning how to write again and she is moving slow still. But I guess it is better than her not knowing who I was. Even if we knew each other since we were kids. Why do you ask?" "Oh just wondering." Before I could even talk to the young girl on her father's hip I heard my name being called. "Harry what was taking you so long?" April was looking at me, waddling with her monitors off and she was smiling. "Why are you up April? You are meant to be in bed" "I said I had to find you. As you said you were only going to be gone a few minutes and you weren't back yet. So they unhooked me so I could find you. I have to be back in five minutes. But I wanted to see yeah." I nodded my head at her. It was the only thing I could do because I was scared if I spoke I might of sounded very pissed off. As she was disobeying her doctor's orders. I turned back to the dad with the little girl. I smiled at the little girl that was smiling a great big smile at me. "Can I hold her for a second?" I was scared the man would say no. But instead he smiled and nodded his head yes. The guy gave me his daughter and her smile turned brighter then ever before. "You are a very pretty June." "Hanks." I smiled at her speech. I loved how young kids spoke words differently than the rest of us. "You are welcome love. I will give you back to your daddy now." I gave the child back and the man thanked me for taking the time to make his daughters day. I then walked with April back where the nurse was waiting for her. "April I said five minutes not ten minutes away from the monitors." "Sorry I just kind of got side tracked. The nurse smiled as she shook her head at her. "I know you do dear." I looked at my phone when they were connecting her back to all the monitors. As I could not watch them do it. It would make the tears come again and right then crying was not an option for me. Lou had texted thirty minutes ago saying he found the box and was heading over to the hospital. So I had about thirty minutes or less till he came. "Harry I was talking to you." I looked at April that looked quite agitated with me. "How long did the nurse leave?" "About ten minutes ago." "Oh. What were saying?" She rolled her eyes at me before speaking. I could tell I was really getting on her nerves now. "The surgery is booked for eight hours from now." "Okay." Tears threatned to fall once again from my green eyes. She took my hand in hers then spoked softly. "I know it is a lot but we will get through this together." "I know April. I know that." She squeezed my hand as tight as possible. "Harry I am scared too. I am scared I am going to leave you guys to fend for yourself and I don't want that to happen." I then told her I was scared too and that was when her eyes filled with tears as well. So I knew I had to speak trying to lighten the mood. "I bet you are even more scared then me." Yeah I am getting operated on. What do you think this is a walk in the park for me?" I laughed at what she said. Because sometimes even in the most seriouse of momments she made me laugh. The smile that was on her lips from the joke she cracked vanished so fast. "What do you think our daughter should be called Harry?" I never even had to think about it for a minute. "August Rose Styles. It is a powerful yet beautiful name for our beautiful daughter." She seemed to be mulling it over for a long time and then she looked at me. "Why not Vince for her last name?" I knew April was attached to her power name. But I wanted so bad for our daughter to have my last name. But before I could voice my opinion Louis walked into the room. He was holding a gift bag. He looked at the two of us and then at the bag that was in his hand. "I have no idea who to give this to." "Why do you have a gift bag in the first-place Lou?" He looked sheepish then. "I kind of went to a store and got something for the baby. As the baby will be a premie and I bet you don't have anything that would fit her tiny body." I smiled at the thoughtfulness of one of my closest bandmates. "No, we don't have anything for her" "Have you figured out a name yet?" I looked at April and smiled. "Well kind of. We are having problems figuring out the last name for our daughter though." April put her hand on her bump and smiled. "Her name is August Rose." "That is a very beautiful name you guys." "August was Harry's idea. I was thinking about Rose because my aunt's middle name is Rosemary and my grandma's first name was Rosemary as well." It always amazed me how comfortable April was talking to people. It was no different with her talking to Lou. "Who do I give this too?" "Just give it to Harry. We will open it together in a little bit." I noticed Lou was biting his bottem lip. I knew then he was in deep thought. "I have so many questions for you and Harry. But I need to steal Harry for a quick second." "The band always steals him away from me. But go ahead steal him away from the sick woman. But only for five minutes. I am counting." I quickly kissed her cheek before leaving the room. As I kissed her cheek a smile was on face. Louis and I never talked till we were a little bit away from April's room. "I left the other lads in the baby store. I knew I had to get down here. As the time was running out." "Thanks for coming here Lou. But you and the other lads never had to get April and I anything for the baby." Louis shrugged his shoulders at that and told me it was not a problem at all. Even if In my eyes I would rather him or my other bandmates not spend any money right then on baby things for little August. "When is August coming into this world by the way?" "In seven and haft hours." Even as I said those words it still never registered with me that I was going to become a dad in less than a day. "Wow you don't even have a day before you become a daddy Harry." "Yeah don't I know it." Louis handed me the velvet ring box that I had asked him to go grab for me. I couldn't stop thanking him for getting it for me. I slipped the box in my jeans pocket as I would propose right away when we got back to the room. "I think you want to go back. Don't you Harry?" I nodded my head. "Then lets head back there then." When we walked back into the room. April was looking at my face and then at Lou's. I had a feeling she knew something was up "What is going on you guys?" "You mean lads." "Well you are guys to me." I laughed and Louis was fighting back a laugh. "Where did you guys meet?" "She is from the west coast of Canada actually." "Oh okay. That explains not a lot." I then decided right then and there to hold her hand. "Harry what is going on? I am not crazy. I know something is up with you." It was then that I dropped to one knee. I knew my hands were shaking as I opened the ring box. To reveal the beautiful diamond I picked out for her. "I have loved you since I remember April. I want you to be my wife. I want our daughter to have my last name. For you to shed your last name for mine. We both have money and to me that is nothing. You came from money. I am a millionaire because of the band. Our daughter, our little August will come from the best of two worlds. Money doesn't matter, our love is the only thing that matters to me. I would be still so happy if I was homeless if I had you by my side. So what do you say? Will you marry me? April's eyes filled with tears and I had feeling mine were filled with tears also. "Yes Harry I will marry you." I kissed her because she was in a hospital bed and was connected to too many monitors to kiss me first. I never thought I would propose in a hospital. But I also never knew I would be a dad at twenty two either. But everything changed when I met April and I wouldn't of had it any other way. "Harry the ring is beautiful. After I get out of surgery and some of the machines are no longer needed. I will put the ring on." "Okay darling" I put the ring back in the box to keep it safe and put it in the bag that Louis gave us. "We should open Lou's gift for the baby Harry." "Yeah we should." "The other lads are here they are just finding the room." "I guess then we will wait then." The nurse then came into the room and looked at Lou that was standing with no place to sit. "Um should I bring another chair in" I turned to the nurse that had led April come find me earlier. "Um actually could you bring in two chairs? Two other lads are coming by." "Of course I can" The nurse returned a few minutes later with two chairs and then came back with one more. Louis sat down. Then once he did it seemed like right on cue when the nurse left Niall and Liam sauntered in. Looking just a little bit frazzled. Niall was carrying two bags and Liam was as well. "What did you two get?" "We are one upping you Louis." Niall then looked at April and he smiled his Irish smile. "Hello." "You must be Niall and you must be Liam. If I was not here in the hopstial. I would of cooked a big Italian meal for you guys. But as you can tell I am kind of held up here." I kissed April and then whispered in her ear I would of not allowed you to cook a big meal for my bandmates and you know it. She shook her head at me and smiled. Niall then spoke to April like she was a long-lost friend. "I see that you are held up. You cook Italian?" April smiled. Anytime someone brought up her family origins or anything to do about her family she would smile like the sun. "I am Italian Niall. Actually, I am part Italian and I think my dad said to me once that I am part British. But I can't remember if that is what he said or not." "You do not sound British. I have to say" April laughed. I smiled because I loved how her laugh lightened up the room. The lads saw me smile and Liam smiled also. "He is smitten that is for sure." April smiled. "Don't I know it Liam." "Where do you want us to put these?" "I will take them from you guys." "You sure about that?" Liam was the more unsure one of April. But I never cared as I knew he would warm up to her. April shook her head at him. "Liam I might have two freaking brain tumors that are trying to kill me and expecting a child. But I am nothing to be scared about." I grabbed the bags from the lads before April tried to take them to prove a point and then sat down. Niall was talking to April some more so I was free to talk to my other two bandmates. Without worrying I was ignoring April. "So, what happened at practice today?" Louis smiled. "Well the manger was freaking out saying you are going to have to talk to the media and you are going to have to deal with the management team." I know I am going to have to handle all of that. But I am not leaving her side right now." "I know that mate." "Harry open the gifts for the baby with me." I smiled as I shook my head at her. "Okay. April you act like a child on their birthday." "Well you know Harry that just last month I turned twenty one. So I am a year younger then you. So finally I am now an adult." I then noticed her eyes had tears in them. I looked at her but she was not looking at me. So I looked up and saw the man I only saw one other time. Her father. His six foot frame looked at his daughter his blue eyes like April. "Dad why are you... "I came because he called to let me know." All of a sudden I could tell April tightened her body up ready for a fight. "Dad everything is fine. I am fine. The baby has to be born. But that is all. I am fine, I am healthy and nothing is going to happen." April's father walked into the room and sat down on her bed and sighed. His blue eyes had the same longing like last time. But this time I saw the sadness in them too and then I knew this was not any ordinary visit from him. He knew more than he was letting on. He was as scared as any man would be. I knew the next words out of his mouth would steer the conversation that April me and him would have.