mama grazer

hi. how's my highlight?

Hi. my name is Jack Dylan Grazer and I'm currently sitting in pizza hut with my friends- me and finn dressed as women- suffering from online embarrassment, with about 6 thousand barbies.

*record scratch* *freeze frame*

You may be wondering how I got in this situation.

I woke up and stretched, looking across my room when I saw it, and heard it.

*click click*

"Hah! Post that shit." I heard chosen say.

"CHOSEN JACOBS, SOPHIA LILLIS. WHATEVER-YOUR-BROTHERS-NAME-IS, I-CAN'T-THINK LILLIS." I hollered, my eyes seeing spots from the flash.

"Jake, It's Jake. You've known me for a year." Jake said, rolling his eyes and leaning over to sophia. "Did you get the pictures?"

"Sure did!" Sophia said, flashing a toothy grin.

"Oooo lemme see!" Wyatt said excitedly, barging into the room and snatching Sophia's phone.

 At first I was like, well, what in the the name of Finn Wolfhard's weave are they taking pictures of, I know I'm cute as fucc (and thicc as fucc ;)) when I sleep, but Finn already has pictures of me sleeping, why would he need more? Wink wink.

But then I thought, where is that piece of over cooked salami anyways? And then I got it when I looked over to the other side of the bed, and then down at myself.

"WHAT in the MOTHER of Maria de la Santa Cruz Rosalina Agnelia Rodriguez Cuellar RENE. Who in the child of a overfriED CHICKEN TENDER DRESSED ME AND FINN UP AS FEMALES."

"Uh- heh- It's a long stor-"

"FINNS HIGHLIGHT ISN'T EVEN POPPIN. K Y S. I'm just kidding I love you guys."

"Sweetie I was doing your makeup for 30 minutes. You can't even complain." Sophia replied.

"Yeah! And I sat and watched and played innapropriate music for those 30 minutes!" Jake added.

"Well I'm sorry you don't have more relevant things to do with your time, Soph. How PETTY of you. Even though I'm FUCKING SLAYING this look. Also how in the mother of the sweet state of carolina did I not wake up? Did Finn Dogsoft wake up? How did-"

"I have to run to the store." Jaeden said, grabbing his jacket and walking towards the door with Chosen. "I'll be back in ten."

"First of all, don't EVER fuckin interrupt me again PLEASE. Second, I'm frickityfrackitincaddilycackin' comin with you retired soundcloud lookin rapper you."

Of course everyone came with because I came, because I'm a super hot girl. And so is Finn, but I'm superior.

"TURN THIS SHIT UP, BITCH-TART. 21 SAVAGE IS MY FRICKEN FAVORITE." I yelled across the car, as the radio turns on.

"I'll turn it up if you shut the fuck up," Wyatt replied whipping his head around, turning it up from shotgun.

"Fine you cousin in law of a ohio hipster beach ball, I love you."

"I love you too mamacita." Wyatt said, referring to the girl clothes, wig, and cute ass makeup.

"I thought I was your mamacita?" Jaeden said jokingly from the back, faking a pout.

"No can-do butter-feet boy."

"I SLIPPED ONE FUCKIN TIME!"

Meanwhile, while I was stunting on their asses, Finn changed the station to some shit-salami rock indie punk shiz. I snatched his weave straight off his head and held it out the window, looking hot as hell while doing it.