Mercy Came A Runnin'

9.

We started doing better together. Becoming more consistent with our runs.

At the end of my Sophomore year, we were finally doing very well at the local Magnolia arena. Placing mostly in the 3D.

As the summer began, I had my heart set on us making it further, as she was already 17 years old and I knew it was now or never for us to click and make it.

I had heard about a saddle series that would take place every Tuesday at the Waller County Fairgrounds over the course of five weeks. I was excited to participate, because Mercy and I weren't very good at that arena and it would be really good for us to consistently run there.

The first few races came and we ran in them, placing in the 2D/3D , we didn't make any money and it was disappointing.

I'd gone the entire summer already without making a dime. I was losing my will, my drive to keep going. What was the point of running barrels if I wasn't any good at it?

I'd been thinking about quitting for a while. Sell all my expensive tack and just keep enough to ride around at home. It tore me to pieces just to think about.

I didn't want to quit, I wanted to fight, I wanted to do better and be the rider I've always dreamed of. But something inside of me was just hell bent on giving up.

One night, after a barrel race at the fairgrounds, I completely broke down. I tried so hard! I was always out practicing and doing all I could to be better! But it was never enough. I was never good enough. I couldn't win the 1D. I couldn't even make money in the 2D. I was so upset with myself. I cried and cried. For hours I went back and forth trying to decide if I were to give up or keep trying.

I told myself I have not spent the past few years of my life working so hard to just give up because I was stuck in some rut. I was not going to let myself, my family, and my horse down like that.

I later regretted that decision with every last ounce of my being.