Shattering Truth

Chapter 2

When she came home that evening she knew Jacob was already there, like he usually was. The aartment was filled with the scent of lemon grass and apple which was bottled up in the perfume she bought him for Christmas even before they were married. His jacket was hanging on a coat hanger by the front door, on its usual spot, and his shoes were neatly placed by the small dresser in the hallway, just like she had taught him. He wasn't always as neat as he is now, his bachelor pad was basically one big trash can.

Experiencing this amount of normalcy gave her a false sense of security, feeling that everything is okay and that a piece of her memory isn't missing. By the time she took her shoes off and placed them next to Jacob's, the conversation she had with Dr. Edwards about an hour ago slipped her mind completely. Now, it was full of thoughts of how a pair of baby shoes is all that they need to make this picture perfect. She placed her free palm on her stomach, probably for the first time in her life disappointed by its flatness. The thought of baby growing inside of her filled her with desire and a certain amount of sadness. Something wasn't right with that thought. She tried to push it away, remembering she will be ovulating in few days and that this might be their lucky shot. Maybe third time isn't the charm. Maybe the hundredth is.

When she entered the living room, she heard the water in the shower running. She bit her lower lip upon imagining Jacob under the shower, and got an unsatisfying desire to join him. She thought better of it, though. This morning he was anxious to hold her for the first time since what seemed to her like forever. It was like she finally broke through the barrier made of ice and regret with which he was shielding himself from her. She knew not to overstep her boundaries.

Maybe it was all in her head. If she's able to erase something from her memory, who is to say she can't fill her memory with something that isn't really there? Maybe she was holding herself back from Jacob and he was only surprised by her growing need for affection. Maybe now when she admitted to herself she made up a problem, the one she erased will come back on its own.

She gets the food out of the bag moments before Jacob walks into the kitchen in his pajama bottoms and a hoodie, since it's a little bit chilly, drying his hair with a towel. His hair seems inky under the kitchen lights. He comes so close to her that few water drops fly from his hair to her nose, and with one quick, swift brush of a finger, he gets it off.

Her skin flickers when it comes in contact with his.

She smiles at him and his smile lingers in the air until he places his hands on her waist, his fingers traveling under the blue blazer and sinking into black, silky top. His thumbs go under the thin fabric and graze against her skin, leaving goosebumps as they travel all the way to her hips.

She gets drunk off of his smile, slightly curved lips on his face sending her into a trans.

His lips scrape against hers and bring her back to life. She can feel his hot breath on her mouth, even though the rest of his body is radiating with icy coldness. He always takes cold showers which is something she will never understand, or get used to.

"Doesn't want to touch me, my ass," she thinks to herself, relieved that she only imagined this, but at the same time worried about the reasons which hide behind it.

He smiles against her lips, tucks his fingers under the hem of her pants and pulls her closer to him. Her chest crashes against his, and her heart starts pounding wildly, so wildly that she wonders can he feel it against his chest.

Then, slowly, at least that's how it seems to her, he presses his lips against hers like he's teasing her. He keeps planting little pecs on her lips, allowing her just a taste, making her so hungry for his kisses that she almost forces him to keep his lips against hers by force.