Impossible

BRITs and Tumblr

Ch 2: BRITs and Tumblr

 “I just won’t have any time.” Harry’s voice came out of my cellphone.

“There’s never enough time!” I mumbled back.

 Harry was back in the UK in time for the BRIT awards. I had been waiting patiently for him to come home, but he managed his time poorly, and wouldn’t be coming back to Cheshire beforehand. He was in London.

I threw my arms up exasperated and landed hard on my couch. All the cuteness and adoration he gained from the name drop in the interview a week ago was quickly dissipating.

I logged into twitter, something I very rarely did, and sent a DM to Louis.

“Kick his ass for me, would ya Tommo?” I sent.

 I was angry. I was completely allowed to be, I had earned it. I knew he was probably sitting around with his dearest Tomlinson right now, totally unaware how angry he was making me. At that moment, confirming my thought on the other end of the phone I heard Harry groan in pain.

 “What was that for Louis?!” he exclaimed, his voice far away from the phone he was probably wildly waving around dramatically.

“Lexi told me to!” I could hear Louis say.

 Confirmed, Larry Stylinson were hanging out in London. I had the best scoop ever. If only I had a tumblr. I would be the most efficient Larry blogger ever.

My DM box flashed in front of me, I had a response from Louis.

 “Yes ma’am. What did he do?” Louis had typed.

I laughed. He had attacked the boy without even having a reason.  It felt like a little power trip on my part.

 “Thank you dear! You can have him explain that to you love, and maybe see you soon x” I typed back and closed out of twitter before I could get too distracted. After all, I WAS still on the phone with Harry, who was yelling at Louis still with his phone far away from his face.

 Eventually he came back on the line and apologized a hundred more times for not coming home. He wouldn’t let me off the phone until I accepted his apology.

x.x

 The day after the BRITs I got another text from Mr. Styles.

 “Hey babeee. I’m headed back to LA, really sorry! Please let Mum know! Love you ! x”

I resisted the urge to throw my beautiful new phone across my house. I also resisted the urge to NOT tell Anne that her son was back on a ten hour flight back to the States. It would have been glorious for him to get yelled at by his Mum, but I made the better choice.

 I decided not to answer his text though. I was allowed to be a little bit petty.

X.x

 I missed Harry a lot. I looked at my laptop as if it were an evil creature, as I opened its lid and googled Harry Styles.

 Pictures of my boyfriend flooded my screen. I was filled with conflicting emotions of anger and love. This was completely unmanageable.

 I had been texting him all week but never got an answer. My eyes scanned the pictures, expecting shots from LA. But no, my eyes saw familiar sights.

 He was at London Fashion Week! He was still in London! Or he had been the day before at least!

 I continued scrolling, clicking on tumblr links that I would usually avoid, coming face to face with shots of him with Cara and Kendall. I knew they were just his friends, I knew this. But this was just too much.

Tears filled my eyes unexpectedly. He had been in London this whole time. I didn’t bother texting him the rest of the day.

 The next day I went back online and was welcomed with photos of Harry actually arriving at LAX.

I was filled with the urge to hurt him like he was hurting me.

 I went back to tumblr ad made an account. I wanted to know Harry the way his fans did. I wanted to see what Harry Styles was presenting to everyone else, because as the days went by I realized he was slowly becoming media Harry all the way.

x.x.x

Today was Louis’ charity game with the Donny Rovers. Gemma and I carpooled it and drove to Doncaster to support Louis. I was shocked to find out Harry wasn’t there.

Regardless I sat with El and Stan and got lots of great photos for Lou. We even saw some familiar faces in the crowd. I didn’t usually interact with fans because they didn’t know that I existed, but because I was with Gemma a lot, a few people did.

 Gem and I went out for lunch with Jana and Ashley who had driven to Doncaster like us, but from London. They were also genuinely confused why Harry wasn’t there. They were very firm believers I Larry Stylinson. Before the game I was also, and although I could understand Harry not making time for me, I couldn’t understand why he didn’t make time for Louis. Nothing made sense anymore.

 Seeing Jana and Ashley did give me an idea though. Being oblivious to everything hadn’t helped me. I knew what I had to do; I had to get under Harry’s skin, the way the Larry shippers got to Louis. I needed to use my new tumblr and use my twitter to get Harry to pay attention to me. I had to play the role of the fan and see how hard it would be to get Harry Styles to notice me.

 It would prove to be impossible.