1201

Day 298085

I do not talk much of this, but did you know that I was once an intern? It does sound quite precarious, but it is true. I either died or took up an internship. I wish I had died. That internship had led me to become what I am now. Alien to the planet I was born and continue to live on. I slowly woke up to that realisation that I am no longer human, and certainly no longer an intern. But, you see, it is a trade of lives. An intense and complicated bartering system. When I took up that internship, I had already killed someone. It took me a long time to realise that, and even longer to learn how to live with it. Yet, it is my life now. It is the consequence of not reading the contract before signing, in a literal sense. I have the contract stored away in the bottom of my very trusty desk, after rereading it a thousand plus times, and cursing myself even more. That contract, and the content of it, was sickening, but what was more sickening was that I obeyed it. Despite my morals, that contract is my law. I obey its every command, and though I am a slave to my work, I have no life without work. I envy those I take with me every day, however, through a series of unfortunate events, I have made my life a forced hell to live in. You see, I have an obligation to others. I have to endure, or else they will. Without me, everyone would suffer. Sadly, it is a twisted way of living, and I cannot allow that future to be burdened on anyone. So I do what I must, for the sake of others I envy, to fulfil a very demanding contract. A twisted life is all I have now. And I do not even want it. 

I can only imagine what the previous Death was like. He had endured for a millennia until he finally found me to sign the contract. I was young, invincible, stubborn and head-strong. I unwittingly put my life on the line to end another's. I hated myself once I was finally wiser and read the contract. My morals were not made until I read the contract. But killing that man was one of my many regrets. I detest every bit of that day with every bit of my stupid self. Of course, I could argue I had no choice. But I certainly did. And it destroyed me for many years.
But, I am past that now. It took me 508 years to get over it. 508 extremely long and excruciating years. But I had not created my moral code back then, and so how could I determine what was just and what was not? I didn't even read the contract. I was selfish and stupid back then, and I took my promising life away in mere seconds. But I didn't even know what the job would entail. And when I finally found out, I remember fainting and then my lunch which I had just eaten followed in the most undesirable fashion. The early days of my new life were so disgraceful, pathetic and wrong that I cannot bear the mere thought of them. It makes my head spin, and I am sure my lunch will also follow. I'm sorry, but if I had the choice, I would rather not have regurgitated marmalade sandwiches all over my beige carpet. I just vacuumed them yesterday.

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