Scorbus, wolfstar oneshots

wolfstar

sooo, i'm not dead. I just couldn't deal with anything for a while and i had a major writers block I don't even know why i'm writing this since nobody actually reads my shitty stuff

Sirius

I furiously blicked away the tears as i tossed the crumpled letter away. I felt stupid for crying over such small things, but thats me lately, i feel numb almost all the time until one day and all the feelings just catch up or something. I can start crying over a bad essay or something that otherwise wouldn't bother me at all. My 'mothers' letters usually didn't get to me, this one wasn't even that bad, but I'm just so fed up on everything.

I choked back a strangled sob as I curled up on my bed, luckily, James and Peter went to Hogsmeade for the day, and Remus went to study with some bird, so no one would see me like this. I hate crying in front of people, even James hasn't seen me shed a single tear, crying makes me feel weak, and rule number one is to never show weakness. I closed my eyes and tried to even my breathing, and soon I was fast asleep.

"Sirius?" a calm voice said, waking me up. I stirred a bit and opened my eyes, only to be met by a pair of warm honey eyes belonging to Remus.

"Siri? have- have you been crying?" he said with his soft voice, and it hit me how awful i probably looked, eyes bloodshot and red cheeks, my hair messy. I turned away from him, and raked a slightly shaking hand through my ebony black hair.

"no, it's just erm, allergies or something" I cringed at my hoarse voice and tried to get out of the bed, the last thing i needed was for Rem to see me this weak and ugly. but before i could make a run for the bathroom, a firm hand was placed on my shoulder. I was pulled back ad before i knew it Remus was hugging me.

"It's okay to cry Sirius, you need to let it out once in a while" He whispered in my hair, and half of me was going insane because the boy I have been in love with for two years is hugging me in a not so platonic way. I relaxed in his warm grip and breathed in deeply.

"It's all so silly really" I said, sniffing. Remus planted a kiss on my head and shook his head.

"I highly doubt that" he said, and then he pulled away a bit to look me in the eyes. "Do you wanna talk about it?" I bit my lip, thinking. He'd probably just laugh at my face.

"It was just a letter from Walburga, I don't really know why it got to me that much"

He tensed at the mention of Walburga, and for a minute I thought that he'd pull away from probably the best hug in my life, thankfully he didn't.

"Well, what did it say?" He asked, and I sniffed again, my eyes almost watering again.

"She said that she didn't like the thought of me being 'influenced' by the halfbloods and the Potter boy, and that I am no longer allowed to spend my holidays at the Potter residence. I will ether go to the manor with Regulus or stay at Hogwarts over Christmas"

Staying at Hogwarts wasn't a bad option, but James always goes back home, and so does almost every other student too. And the thought of hanging around the castle all by myself didn't sound to pleasing. But going back to the Black manor where 'father' and 'mother' would be, I'd rather die than face them.

"But who is she to tell you where to go, I mean she can't really come here and force back home" He sounded angry now, and I could help but be a little glad that he felt the same anger (maybe not as intense) as me against that sad excuse to a mother I have.

"She said that she would 'make sure' that I don't go with James or anyone else than Regulus" my voice was still hoarse, but I didn't really care now. I snuggled closer to Remus, and I sighed when he nuzzled his face against my hair.

"I can stay here with you, if you want to" he whispered, and I turned a bit so I could look him in the eyes.

"I can't ask you to do that, you should be with your family over Christmas, not here in a drafty old castle" I rambled quickly, and Remus smiled a bit. Have I told you that his smile is the most wonderful thing on this planet? Well, it is.

"It's one Christmas, I'll have a ton to spend with them later. They'll understand if I stay here with you, mum adores you" His tone was light and soft now, all anger in his voice from talking about Walburga was gone, I couldn't help but blush at his last statement and he but a hand on my heated cheek.

"I know I won't be as fun as James at Christmas, but if you allow me, I'll stay" I smiled at him and nodded hesitantly. I shrieked internally at the thought of spending the home winter break with Remus, alone, but I still didn't want to take him away from his family.

"Well then, I'll just send an owl to mum, she'll be fine with it"

I nodded and yawned, and Remus chuckled softly.

"I'll just do that tomorrow, I'm exhausted"

My eyes where feeling heavy, and I fell asleep almost immediately after Remus pulled me close and pulled the warm comforter over us. The last thing I heard before I dosed of was

"Sleep well love"

Eek I'm sorry this sucked but whatever, hope ur doing alright, where ever u are in the world, and keep smiling!