Scorbus, wolfstar oneshots

Wolfstar

No one really votes or comments, and I have no idea what you think of my later oneshots, so please comment what you think you them, I don't want to continue writing if you hate it
Quite strong language
Beginning of 6th year

Sirius

Okay, lets do this I thought as I rubbed my sweaty palms against my pants. Remus was walking down the hall towards me, smiling as he got eye contact with me. I need to tell him, what's the worst that could happen? He could hate you for eternity, never speak to you again and tell your secret to every single student. I shook my head quickly as if to get rid of the thoughts, and before I knew it, Remus was standing in front of me.

"Hey Siri, you left the great hall so quickly, are you okay?" He asked, putting a hand on my shoulder, not really helping. He cares so much, but I'll throw all that friendship and (brotherly) love in the trash as soon as I utter those words.

"I uh... I just wanted to talk? To you, i don't really know if it's a good idea but I uh..." I ran a hand through my already messy hair, and Remus followed the movement with his eyes.
I looked at the floor, avoiding eye contact at all cost. Remus grabbed my hand, making me yelp in surprise. I looked up briefly to see him smile, my heart was already out of control, but that smile made it beat even faster.

"Lets go to the dormitory, we can speak there, it's so loud out here" he suggested, and all I could do was nod, afraid that my voice might crack if I spoke. He dragged me through the hall, still holding my hand, until he reached the Gryffindor common room.

Thankfully our dorm was empty, and I remembered that most of the boys had gotten detention for some stupid prank that James got them into (I actually wasn't present, Remus forced me to study with him that day). I was pulled out of my thoughts when Remus - still holding my hand - pulled me closer to him, so I could sit on his bed.

"So, what's the big announcement?" He asked, and I could feel my heart ache, knowing that after I told him I would never hear that softness in his voice, only hatred. I swallowed dryly, pulling at the comforter, doing anything to distract me from Remus curious honey eyes.

"I- I, um. It's not really that important-" It wasn't to late to back of. I could pretend for another two years, then after graduation I could slowly loose contact and then he would never know. But when I tried to get up he just pulled me back, his hand laying on my shoulder.

"It must be something very important if you're so nervous. Is it something you and James did? I promise I won't hate you" he said, and I just shook my head. He can't promise that, I know that he will hate me after this.

"Not James" was all I could say, trying to steady my voice. I cleared my throat and breathed out. I had to say it.

"I didn't do anything, it's more of a - more of a confession. It's very hard for me to say it and I'm asking you to just let me talk and don't interrupt" he nodded as I breathed in through my nose. Here goes nothing. "It's something I started to notice about three years ago, but I didn't think much of it back then. But then in fourth year an... Incident happened. And I uh... um" it got harder to breathe and I felt my eyes sting with tears. I glanced over to see Remus smile encouraging at me, but I could also see worry in his eyes. And (platonic) love. Love that would be gone in a matter of minutes.
"Well, the thing is. I- um. I noticed that I didn't really look at girls the way you guys did, I didn't look at someone the same way James looks at Lily. I didn't find girls 'hot' or 'sexy' as Peter. But I- uh. The thing I've been trying to tell you is that I, Sirius, am romantically attracted to, erm, boys" I screwed my eyes shut, waiting for the shouting, briefly wondering if Remy would hit me.

When I didn't hear any screaming and shouting, I wondered if he went into shock. I glanced over to Remus only to see him smiling ear to ear.

"That's it? Sirius. I thought you killed somebody! Who you like to kiss doesn't matter to me! And after everything we've been through, you know that I'll always love you" he said as he hugged me tight. The relief I felt was briefly clouded my the knowledge that he'll never love me the way I wanted him to, and I couldn't help but to mutter "yeah but not the way I want you to"