Kill them with Kindness

Why Won't He Love Me?

I woke to the smell of waffles and whined shivering. "Allen?" Where is he.. I pull my boxers on and walk downstairs shivering. I see him standing at the stove making waffles with sprinkles. That was always my favorite when we were younger.

"Good morning baby"

I hugged him tight.

"Hey why're you crying? Is everything okay?"

"I thought I'd be a freak for the rest of my life.. I missed this side of you. I regret meeting Jonah.. I wish I would've been with you but I can't dwell on mistakes I've made and neither can you. Let's be happy together and instead of trying to make up for all the years we missed let's just make our own years." I smiled at him and kissed him gently and whimpered when his hand slid around my torso.

"I'm sorry.. You're so fragile love."

I kissed him softly. "I know." Just then my mom walked in the house looking exhausted, she must've just got home from a long long shift. "Momma.. You remember Allen.. He's my boyfriend.."

"It's so nice to meet you honey."

"C'mon momma lets get you to sleep." I helped her up the stairs and took her shoes off before covering her up and kissing her forehead. "I love you mommy"

"I love you too baby boy"

My heart warmed as she called me that and fell asleep. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I ran to get it before they woke mom up and the smile dropped straight off my face. "Dad?..." The look of disgust on his face broke me..

"Don't call me that. Where's your mother."

"S-she's a-asleep..."

"Well give her these papers."

I took the papers he shoved in my chest and watched as he walked to his car. Why would he leave me. "Dad please!" I ran after, tears streaming.

"I'm not your dad anymore. I stopped when you took my daughter away from me."

I fell to my knees crying as his car sped off. I looked at the papers and my heart cracked even more. "D-daddy.." I hugged my knees and whined rocking back and forth. I heard Allen yelling my name but I didn't care. My dad gave full custody to my mom and got a restraining order against me.. He hated me... I was a freak.. And he'd never love me ever again.. He used to be my best friend..

"Baby.. What happened.."

I got up and handed him the papers going to my room and looking at my old razor. You were wrong mom... Kindness can't always win.. I cut deep as I could over and over until the blood painted both of my arms. Maybe I was just destined to die.. To let them win.. No one understands.. Mom won't have to work all those extra shifts if I'm not around... she'll be happier and less tired.. Yeah.. I feel drowsy.. I can feel my conscious slipping... the last thing I saw was Allen running towards me before everything was blank.