Kill them with Kindness

Kindness Is My Path

I woke to the sound of sobbing. I knew right away it was my mom but I was too scared to face her... Why didn't i die..

"Here Mrs. Smith, your coffee. You really need to eat something. I brought a bunch of different stuff..."

"Thank you but i'm not hungry Allen.."

"Mrs. Smith.... He would want you to eat.."

I heard more sobbing and heard Allen quietly soothing my mother. What if she never forgives me... I'm too weak.. I'm a disappointment..

"M-mommy.. I'm s-so s-sorry.." The tears crawled down my cheek, burning slightly and I felt her grab my hand shakily.

"My baby I'm so glad you're okay.. Why would you do this to yourself. What's wrong honey I was so scared."

"I'm not strong mommy. I'm so tired.. It's so hard to be strong all the time.. I try so hard.. H-he hates me.. Everyone thinks I'm a freak... Why won't he love me mommy. I miss him.." I looked at her through blurry vision, sobbing as she hugged me quickly.

"My little bug.. He is a monster because he can not accept you. There are going to people who reject you all your life because they can not accept you. You are the strongest person i know and I am so proud of you. I know this is hard for you and I am here. I will never ever stop loving you. You are my whole world. I try so hard to keep you hidden from the monsters out there but I can't. I try to make you as strong as I can but there is only so much a mother can do for her baby. You have people who love you and need you. Please.. If you need help or want someone to talk to we can take you somewhere just please don't leave me Riley i can't lose you. I can't lose my baby."

'Mommy we don't have the money. We still have five more bills to pay off and you're overworked. I can't put that on you."

"Sweetie I chose this. All of the hospital bills are paid for."

"Then why do you keep taking more and more shifts. Why are you doing this to yourself momma."

"Because I'm making extra money. I was saving because I figured eventually you'd crack and admit that you can't do this alone. But I'm done taking extra shifts. I've already made you an appointment with a very good therapist. I never thought you'd go this far. I'm just so happy you're okay. Please don't ever scare me like this again. Talk to me. Or Allen or Kayla or call your therapist. There a people who can help and can listen baby."

"I promise mommy. I'm so sorry." I hugged her back tightly and cuddled.

That week I started to go to therapy three times a week and I was slowly getting better. Allen and I were publicly a couple and we made each other very happy. Sometimes he comes to therapy when mom can't and he talks about how he thinks I am doing and how i'm improving or sliding a bit. I never realized I would end up loving him so much. He always talks about how scared that one day I'll wake up and realize what he did to me and I'll leave him but I say the same about him minus the bullying part. We both talk about deep feelings and problems we both have and we slowly work through them. My therapist gives me assignments each week to work on a specific problem one at a time and Allen always makes sure he helps as much as he can. He's so sweet. At the beginning of the relationship he'd get really mad and lash out with hurtful words but he hated that part of himself just as much as it scared me so he started taking anger management classes, he got a job, and now we both volunteer at shelters and fundraisers all the time because he has gained a new love for helping people instead of hurting them. Together we grew and our love never faltered. Allen chose his path. All he needed was a little guidance. But together we killed our fears with kindness and hard work. So when people bully you or annoy you, in any situation really, you should always be kind. You never know what's behind their closed doors.