Return of the Titans

THERE BE MONSTERS [BONUS STORY]

Featured in FANTASCI 's Shades of Summer anthology!

I thought that the worst thing in the world was being killed via magical lightning bolt.

But that had nothing to being caught up in not only a thunderstorm, but also having to wait it out in the home of your worst enemy.

And no, before you ask, it was not the den of the animal-like Giant, Lion, nor the extravagent temple of Father of All. One was miles away, while the other was dead. Extremely dead. I had to wash Lion's blood from my antlers for days, but it nevertheless still found a way to stain my rack.

No, it was neither of them, but even then, I would have taken a chance with them. Perhaps I would have been spared the incredibly painful experience of having my cheeks pinched and body analyzed, as if I was some sort of science experiment.

Then again, Maria did have a knack for treating me like a freak of nature. It made total sense for her family to do the same.

"You smell funny," a chubby six-year-old sniffed, the third one who said such the whole two hours I had been there.

I sighed from my place at the far end of the long dinner table. "That's because I've been outside," I lied.

I didn't want to tell her it was because I lived in a crypt, and most of my clothes smelled of mothballs and, well, dead and decaying flesh. Just because she was a dryad didn't mean that she had the capability of understanding everything out of the ordinary.

Her mother, a short woman with silky black hair, gave her daughter a stern slap across her leg. Her child might have turned on her with a protruding lower lip, but she met her with a pair of blazing brown eyes.

"Be nice, Sophie," she said. "Frankie is our guest of honor. Show some respect."

"I know how to spell 'respect'!" a young boy with deep dimples shouted.

His mother's eyes rolled as she stuffed her face into her hands. "Of course you do, Carlos. Now, will you please eat your vegetables, rather than stick them into your cousin's hair?"

"He's doing what?" an older girl next to me exclaimed. She raised her head from picking at her barbecued chicken to glare at him, who covered his mouth as chickpeas and kernals of corn fell from her hair.

It was then when Tobias walked in from the backyard, a relieving sight amongst all of this pandemonium. Even though thunder growled outside, he and a few other men of Maria's family were still outside, grilling food. And while I would have told him of the dangers of that, when I saw the towers of grilled porkchops, chicken thighs, and babyback ribs dripping in sauce, every bit of common sense flew out the window.

"Who wants some more --?"

He didn't even have the chance to finish his sentence before a stampede of kids swarmed his legs, begging for food. Some had plates that had pieces of food still on, but they immediately tossed them away, where the awaiting jaws of their dogs leaped to catch them.

Mrs. Mendoza chuckled as she watched her children, neices, and nephews flood her brother-in-law. "They're so adorable when they're bothering someone else."

"I'll say," I agreed. "Not to offend you or anything, Missus Mendoza, but your family's a little bit..."

"Big?" she said.

I was forced to nod. I was trying to find a word other than insane, but I didn't want to offend her. She was nice, unlike her daughter. She allowed me to sit at her table and eat with them, rather than kick me out because I wasn't one of them. If I was in her shoes, I doubted if I would have done the same, but in the meantime, I was gracious.