caitlin's passenger's fic except my way

here comes vicky

it's the last day of school, you know what that means, it's time to go to fuckin' donuts. we're all super excited about a new space program that our eighth grade science teacher started. she's gonna send people to a planet called "earth but gayer." needless to say, i'm pretty pumped about it. we get to fuckin' donuts and get some donuts and shit. then we go over to the suspiciously empty lounge area. "yo are y'all pumped for earth but gayer," an excited josh screeches. "i mean i'm totally hetero don't get the wrong idea but." i turn to face the totally hetero josh. "my gay ass but apparently bi ass is totally ready for whatever the fuck that place has in store for us," i begin to say but am cut off by the staff of fuckin' donuts turning the volume of the tv to full blast, nearly knocking me off of the sofa i was sitting on. i look up to see none other than vicky kasidass on the television. "people of earth, i am proud to announce that i'm gonna take the litchfield high school class of 2021 to earth but gayer, as i know that they are all definitely not hetero." there is a burst of applause from our group as they realize that we will be blasted into space like a nut. then they turn off the tv and go back to playing the shitty pop music they always play. just as we get settled, i notice emma drooling over connor who had just walked in. we fill him in on how we're going to earth but gayer and then he and emma bust out the entirety of a whole new world from aladdin. they ended their annoying number holding hands. connor was way too into it. everyone was uncomfortable.