You hate me do you?
I can sense it in the way you talk
Wait no, we don't actually talk
We talk when we only need to
When was the last time we had a conversation?
Yesterday? a while ago? or when I woke up because you were asking me to help you?
We just talked about doing this to keep tidy
You told me how hard your life is
Well I'm sorry for being insensitive
I wish I was in your shoes so I could have ended my life and stop being miserable
Yes I am not as strong as you.
I don't hate you
I just hate myself so much
Well you weren't there when I grew up so you could shape me up to be a better person
Am I even considered as a person?
There is a lot more into that to be one.
Now that we are together
I thought we'd be happy
But it didn't happen
So it makes me to just want to go home
And lock myself in that room and never come out forever
But wait home? I don't really think I have one.
Why do I keep making such a big fuss about this
I don't know anymore
Makes me feel so dumb, stupid, and little
I don't deserve you or even anything you have given me
I'm sorry for not cherishing it
I am deeply sorry that I am very useless
I am sorry I don't make you happy
I don't know when was the last time you smiled
Or when was the last time you were genuinely happy because of me
I love you but sorry I got used to the times I can do anything I want
That what makes me upset and make you disappointed
I am so useless
A jerk
I really don't deserve you
I just want to disappear already
Because I am failure
And I am so tired of doing nothing
Of all the years I literally didn't do anything
And just read a bunch of craps
I just wanna crumble into ashes
I wanna die
And disappear from your sight forever
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YOU ARE READING
Thoughts
RandomMostly I don't know what to do with my life and I thought is this how teenagers out there spend their lives? or maybe I'm just being pathetic but here's my Public Diary. If you are interested in someone else's life then come in, read, and comment.