pjimin: I realized that I was being unreasonable earlier
pjimin: I shouldn't have told you what I told you without explaining everything
pjimin: so here goes
pjimin: when I was only nine years old, the doctors told me I had leukaemia. Since then, I have always been closed off, even to my mom. I went through hell years after years, chemotherapy didn't really help and I was gradually getting worse and worse. Last year the doctors told my mom that I only have five months left but yet, here I am. I'm six months and a half over due, i'm not sure why i'm still here. maybe god has other plans for me ? i've been in intensive care for almost a month now because during odd days I would faint and sometime have seizures. Im positive that my time is near, thats why I want or wanted you to forget about me.
pjimin: it pains me to see my mom so broken and subdued, and I don't want you to feel like that. I can't afford to hurt another loved one. I know it was selfish of me to make you cut all ties between us but i thought it was the right and best idea at the time. You make me so happy and without you, I would still be swallowed up in absolute blackness and be poured down with extreme guilt and culpability.
pjimin: When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are to become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement. Love is sacrifice, love is an unconditional commitment. It isn't just strong feelings, it's decisions, judgements and a promise.
pjimin: so here is my promise to you kim taehyung, I promise to love you unconditionally. I promise to love you till my last breath. Even though we will never get the chance to come face to face, I'm still pleased and happy with this little time we got to have together.
pjimin: i love you.
pjimin: so much.
pjimin: please forgive me ______ i cried a little while writing this
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look at how taetae is playing with jimin's pinky finger im dead
