drunk history of the guac squad

our family

*original version, not updated to 2018 standards*

we all have some weird role in this group chat even if it's fake:
carter: the kinky dad who probably does cocaine and is the brendon urie of the family

cris: mom who lays on her porch with her clothes off and rubs jelly all over herself, is the ryan ross of the family

lizyee: dyslexic son found on the side of the road who wonders off to random places so is led by dog leash at all times, constantly answering with "your mom"

layla: the drunk rp smut emo

ryan: 🅱️oneless meme druglord and the most religious atheist you'll ever meet

leeyah: such fob trash she can turn anything into a reference

gabby: the adopted son who is full of useless knowledge that won't get her anywhere in life?? and is the fronk oreo of the chat