What Once Was Mine

i. and blood is thicker than water

A/N: This is a work of historical fiction. I haven't read too many reliable sources and biographies about the characters in this story so I cannot promise you that I'll stay true to the actual history as much as possible. However, I'll try my best to be historically accurate with the major events/details and if I can, with the minor stuff as well.

For this chapter, I'm quite sure that Mary and William were not present for Anne and George's wedding but for the purposes of this story, they traveled to England on some business and were in time for the wedding, so they attended it. But I swear I'll try to be more historically accurate next time.

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HE'LL try to meddle, you know," Mary said as she twirled in front of the full-length mirror in her bedchamber. She reached back to touch her braided light-brown hair and frowned. He'll scheme and plot at every opportunity he can lay his hands on. He'll try to control you, get close to the throne. All husbands to royal women do. All men do, for it's their dreams come true."

A woman, looking younger than Mary by a few years but possessing a similar beauty, stepped before the mirror but was careful to still be behind the older woman. Her sister was too cynical, Anne decided in her mind, even back when they were still young; she would have to take her sister's assessment of men and her future husband at face value. But the young woman bit back a sharp retort that might, somehow, eventually involve her sister's husband and simply said, "Maybe."

Mary smoothed back her long plait and nodded at the mirror. "D'you think I look ready and all set to go, Anne?"

Anne forced a smile at her older sister. "Of course you do, Mary. You always look beautiful and ready, even in the morning when you have just awoken."

Mary stifled a giggle, turning to her sister and wagging her finger at Anne. "Now that's what I call flattery, Anne dear," she said fondly, with a mischievous twinkle in her blue eyes. "But since you're my sister, I'll forgive you this time and let it pass me by."

Anne sighed. Though normally she enjoyed this kind of easy banter between her and her sister, she was in no mood now to laugh at Mary's jests. "One would think from all your efforts to prepare yourself and our conversation that you are the one getting married, not I."

Mary laughed. "Don't be silly, Anne! Even a half-blind fool would know it was you, seeing that you look the lovelier of us two and you are definitely dressed up more extravagantly. You'll be the most beautiful woman at the wedding as the bride, you'll see."

Instead of the words reassuring her, they had the opposite effect on Anne, irritating her. "Well, I'm sorry if I don't want to be," she snapped. "I don't want to get married, ever. I don't want to have any romantic relationships, be it as a mistress, bed-mate, or wife. I'm so sick and tired of all this drama and courtly intrigue, all these schemes and scandals and conspiracies. I want to live a whole peaceful life far away from the English court and the throne. I -- I just want to be alone and free." The last words barely a whisper, Anne hung her head and looked down at the ground, as if ashamed for having spoken so rashly.

Mary's smile had faded and at hearing what her sister truly thought, a flicker of sorrow and wistfulness appeared in her eyes. "Oh Anne..." she said softly, wanting to say something else to try to console her sister but unsure of how Anne would react. Awkwardly, she reached out to pat Anne's back in an attempt to comfort her. Anne slowly looked up and saw, to her amazement, that her sister was smiling sadly.

"I know how you feel, Anne. I was once like you too. I was also scared of marrying -- especially to some Dutch stranger, even if he was our cousin. I wasn't ready, I thought, for marriage. I also liked -- or at least I felt I did -- someone else, someone not worthy of the attention of an English princess. Yet even as I kept these doubts and second-guesses in mind, I still continued on with our family's plans, afraid and nervous as I was as to what awaited me in this marriage, and wed William, because it was my duty -- to my family, to my people, to the throne -- and I knew what had to be done. It turned out that most of my fears were for naught. William was not so bad a man and a husband, even though he was not the one I had feelings for. Many marriages are like that, Anne -- with the couples starting out as unfamiliar with each other but eventually caring for each other. Perhaps, in time, you will love your husband too."

Anne had looked away while Mary was talking so she couldn't see the expression on her face but her sister knew she was deep in thought. After a while of silence, Anne finally broke it and spoke up, "Perhaps. Perhaps I will. Only God knows when that may be, but mayhaps he will as well." At this, a hopeful tone crept into her voice and she gazed longingly at the mirror as if daring it to grant her wish of a happy marriage.

Mary closed her eyes so that Anne would not see that they were filling with tears, knowing how much Anne disliked seeing people cry about or because of her. After a few moments, she opened them again and looked down at her sister sadly. "Of course he will," she murmured. "I'm sure he will. What man could pass you by without loving the sight of you, after all?"

She leaned down and kissed Anne on the cheek before straightening up again and saying as merrily as she could manage it to be, "Well! I think we've done everything now to make you as ready as possible. Let's not have the splendid bride miss her own wedding, eh?" She laughed teasingly then, taking her sister by the shoulders, gently steered Anne towards the door and out of the room, only letting her go when they were in the presence of Anne's ladies-in-waiting who had been waiting for her in the hall outside Mary's room.

For a moment or two, no one spoke, having noticed the sisters' sudden somberness. The silence was only shattered by the voice of Lady Sarah Parker, ever the boldest of Anne's ladies. "Are you alright, Your Grace?" When Anne didn't respond, Sarah repeated the question but this time directed it at her mistress's older sister.

Mary tried to smile, for her sister's and her ladies' sake, but inside she felt no actual joy. She only felt cold, numb, and weary. "Yes, we are indeed fine, Lady Sarah, thank you for asking," she said, trying to sound as dismissive as possible and waving away the young woman's concerns. "Don't you worry about us, especially my sister. She's merely queasy and a bit scared -- normal feelings for a woman on her wedding day. Come, let us now escort her to the chapel. Our lord father shall be waiting there for her."

Sarah didn't look convinced -- none of the girls did -- but she only nodded and didn't dispute Mary's halfhearted assertion. The rest of the girls, taking their cue, took up their positions behind Anne and Mary followed suit, with her finally holding up Anne's train.

"Good luck, Anne, and may the Lord bless you with courage and faith on this special day," Mary declared.

"God bless Lady Anne," Anne's six ladies-in-waiting said in unison, rephrasing Mary's well-wishes for her sister.

As they headed down the corridor and out of the apartments, Mary couldn't help but wonder, as she had before her own wedding years ago, what this marriage held in store for Anne. She knew of its political advantages, of course, and that it would greatly benefit England, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland (the four countries Mary and Anne's family ruled) but she had no idea of what its personal nature would be. But she hoped against hope that it would work to her sister's advantage, as it had more or less did for both Mary and her husband, William of Orange.

The carriage for Anne's travel to the chapel, as Mary had expected, was waiting for them outside the building. She, Anne, and the ladies clambered up into it and as they settled into their respective seats, the door being closed behind them, one of the girls -- Katherine Lewis? -- leaned towards Mary and whispered, her tone of voice an echo of Sarah's earlier concern, "But will she be alright? She looks far from fine." There was no need for her to say the name, as Mary immediately knew who she was talking about.

Outwardly, she showed no signs of truly caring and merely shrugged her shoulders. But even then, Katherine knew that she did care, for not even Mary was able to lower enough her voice when she added under her breath, worry evident in her tone, "I hope she will be. Dear God, I wish she would be," bowing her head as if in prayer that her sister's happiness might be guaranteed.

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A/N: In the next chapter, we finally meet and get to know George, so don't worry if that's who you were waiting for!