JEALOUSY HURTS, LOVE TOO - LARRY STYLINSON FANFICTION

LEFT ALONE

Harry didn't remember how long he had been sitting in the cold but it must have been awhile because his whole body felt numb when he tried to get up. Meanwhile, it had started to snow heavily and the wind blew stronger than before. His clothes were soaked, his hands and face numb from the bitter cold. If he was honest to himself he didn't really want to go home. He didn't want to face the truth again, he didn't want to see Louis, he just wanted to hide somewhere and cry forever because the pain in his heart was nearly unbearable.

When Harry came home Louis was nowhere to be seen. He thought he could be possibly training in the gym because that was what Louis usually did when they were arguing or when he was angry. Harry was glad that he could avoid Louis and went into the bathroom to have a shower. After he got dressed he made himself a cup of tea and sat down in front of the telly.

"Oh, you're back," Louis said as he was walking up the stairs from downstairs.

Harry didn't react. The queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach was a mixture of sadness, anger and disappointment and it nearly drove him crazy. He really wanted to throw something at Louis but of course he didn't because he knew it wouldn't help. Couldn't Louis just leave? Instead he sat down at the other and of the sofa, put his elbows onto his knees and bowed his head. He stayed like this for a while, nodded a few times and looked over to Harry for a second.

"So this is where we are now? You won't talk to me anymore?" His tone was so different.

Harry looked at Louis for a short moment but then he turned his head away again. It hurt to see his beautiful face and it hurt to hear his voice that wasn't as playful as usual.

"Okay then," Louis said with a sigh. He rubbed his hands onto his thighs before he got up. "This isn't how I want to spend my last days here. I will go to my mum's house for a few days and if you change your mind call me – if not have a nice Christmas," Louis said coolly and walked away.

His words burnt like fire in Harry's heart. "Yeah, just leave me alone Louis – if that's what you think is right!" Harry yelled angrily and threw a pillow at Louis who just let it fall onto the floor. "Go away!" Harry cried and buried his face into the palms of his hands. "I hate you so much!" His body was trembling as tears were running down his cheeks again and he was crying bitterly. Louis didn't react.

Harry had never thought that Louis would really leave this evening but he did. When Louis had closed the door, Harry just stared at it for a while but the more time passed, the more it became obvious that Louis wouldn't come back. Harry couldn't stop crying out of sadness and anger. The feeling inside him was so consuming that he thought he'd never recover from it. He sat on the couch for hours not moving and just crying because he felt so empty and lost. He didn't even notice that it had already gotten dark outside and his TV had already switched itself off.

Harry got so angry suddenly that he got up, walked over to the table and threw the beautiful porcelain vase onto the floor. The delicate china scattered into a million pieces when it hit the floor. Harry was so enraged that he also grabbed the bags with the Christmas stuff and threw them out next to the bins. He slammed the door close and walked back into the living room where he looked at his phone. There were no new messages from Louis. Harry let out a loud scream, buried his face into the palms of his hands and sobbed. He took the framed drawing of him and smashed it against the wall where the picture frame of glass burst into millions of pieces. Harry picked the pencil drawing up and ripped it into small pieces that trickled onto the floor.

While tears were still running down his cheeks, Harry walked into the bathroom where he rummaged through the drawers until he finally found a pack of blades. Everything was blurry around him when he sat down on the bathmat and opened the box with shaking hands. He cried while he cut himself over and over again until the skin of his left arm was covered in blood.

Harry had been there before. He knew what could help him taking away the pain, even if it only was temporarily. It was Louis who helped him through when this habit had finally taken control over the boy. Harry was thankful for Louis' help and he had promised to Louis to never do it again. But this was different. No matter how angry Louis would probably be with him, he just couldn't stop. The pain in his heart was just too much to bare.