JEALOUSY HURTS, LOVE TOO - LARRY STYLINSON FANFICTION

I DID IT FOR YOU

Harry walked over to the large crème sofa in the middle of the living room and sat down in one corner. He rested his head onto the back of the sofa, pulled a decorative pillow into his lap and stared out of the window. He didn't look at Louis who sat down at the other end. The silence was awkward between them but Harry just didn't know what to say. His feelings had been a mess during the last few days. He was still mad at Louis, he was jealous and sad too, everything at once. It was just too much for him to cope with.

"I missed you," he said quietly, finally breaking the silence but Harry didn't answer. He just stared out of the windows. "Haven't you missed me?" Louis tried again.

Of course Harry had missed him. He had missed him so much that it hurt but this was just one side of the story. The boy felt that he was on the verge of tears but he tried so hard not to cry. After a few seconds he finally turned his head toward Louis.

"You were with Danielle, Briana and the baby the entire time. How could you miss me." Harry's voice was emotionless. "I don't think you really missed me because if you did you could have come home but you didn't."

"Are you really starting this conversation again?" Louis answered in a harsh tone. "Are you?"

Harry didn't answer. The way Louis spoke to him hurt, although he knew he was being unfair. He couldn't change, he couldn't just be happy from one second to the next. He felt a lump slowly building in his throat. He turned his face away from Louis and buried his head into the decorative pillow he was holding in his lap. It hurt to look at Louis because if he was honest with himself the only thing he wanted was to be close to his boyfriend, to lay his head into his lap and feel his gentle touch on his hair but his pride was too strong to give in. Harry heard Louis getting up from the sofa.

"So that's it? You don't have more to say Harry?" Louis' voice was piercing and nearly hurt Harry's ears. "If you still think I'm enjoying these stunts – and you know we've talked about this over and over again - and if you seriously think I'd rather be with them than you, then we should consider going separate ways because I'm not your fool, Harry. I'm not your toy you can toss away every time things get difficult! This situation is very complicated and hard for both of us, but mostly for me! It's me getting the hate. It's me they write shitty, hurtful articles about all the time. The whole world thinks I'm an asshole who doesn't care about anything or anyone. It's me people permanently congratulate about being a Dad while I'm trying to go along with it without being too obvious. Have you ever once thought about how it feels for me? How it feels to pretend to have a baby, how it feels pretending to have Danielle as a girlfriend? How it feels for me to hold hands with her while you're sitting at home? Do you have any idea of how much I'm suffering Harry?" Louis gesticulated and got more and more enraged.

"And you're sitting here in your safe space, telling me that I love them more than you? All I wanted was to help you back then! It was me who wanted to help you because I loved you so much! After seeing you cry and suffer all I really wanted was to relieve the pressure you had to deal with permanently when I came up with the idea to take all stunts away from you and this is your thank you? Like seriously? Do you remember how you broke down after they set you up with Caroline who was like ten years older than you? Do you remember when we were on that TV show and they asked you about dating her? What about Taylor? I still picture you crying for hours because those questions and articles hurt you immensely, do you remember how you felt? How much you cried? How much you suffered? You cried your eyes out every night because of being called a womanizer at age sixteen! Do you also remember who went to Modest and proposed the idea to protect you from further stunts? Was it you, Harry?" Louis yelled at Harry who was still not looking him in the eyes. His voice got louder and louder and his face was red out of anger. "No Harry, it wasn't you. It was me, I went there with trembling hands, afraid to get punished for proposing this idea only but I didn't care because I did it for you! I did it only for you without even knowing what they would be able to do to me but even if I had known, I would have never hesitated to help you out of your misery! It took me one second to agree to this because I loved you too much!"