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Chapter One - Fruit Punch and Diary Entrees

For those people who don't know what a demigod is its half god half human. If you don't know who the gods are then freaking look it up I'm not going to name them all.

AHEM APHRODITE ZUES ARES HADES APOLLO ARTEMIS DEMETER HERMES HEPHESTUS ATHENA DIONYSUS HERA POSEIDON HESTIA HECATE HYPNOS AETHER CHAOS CHRONOS EREBOS GAIA HEMERA ANANKE EROS NESOI OUREA PONTUS NYX THANTOS AND ALL THAT CRAP

Enjoy.

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"I love being the daughter of Aphrodite." I say, looking at Trandon and Rick holding hands and staring into each other's eyes.

"Gross." Dustley said simply, wrinkling her nose and putting her copy of Cheese Magazine in her locker. Being the adoptive daughter of Artemis, (The goddess hated men) of course she would think it was gross.

"Oh, don't try and sell me that crap. I know you have a crush on Blueton."

I look down the hall and see Blueton laughing with his friends. The dude was son of Apollo, and boy could that boy sing and drum. I'd seen him at Mussel’s Giraffe's birthday party.

Her eyes grow wide. "How long have you known?"

"I wasn't for sure. But you just confirmed it."

She stomps her foot and yells "I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE GIVEN THAT FUTURE TELLING HOBO A TIP!" before slamming her locker and heading towards our next class, Ancient Greek.

As we make our way there, a short little hermit named Enna blocks my way and I slap her face. She gives a whimper so I do it again. "Show no weakness." I demand.

"I'm sorry, Rose, It’s just..." Her eyes water and she talks so fast I can barely hear her. "There was a sheep in my bed this morning and there was an ugly ass dictionary in my locker. I’m not having a good day." She scowls and I instantly feel bad for her.

"Poor thing! Sounds like a rough day." Being a gay daughter of Hephaestus was not easy. "Try using your mating call, that always cheers you up."

She gratefully smiles and proceeds to make sounds with her mouth to produce a sound like a cross between a donkey giving birth and a drugged out clown rubbing his ass on a small dog. Super sexy.

"You called?" The skinny blond daughter of Hades appears out of nowhere and Kady begins making out with her, pushing her towards the janitor's closet.

I smile and give them a thumbs-up. "Don't forget to use protection, girls!"

I run into my Greek class and Ms. Popsickle is already pumping up the jams. "You’re late!" She tells me and I apologize.

"I'm really sorry. I had to rob a gangster before I got to school. Don't worry, I only cut off one of his fingers." She looks pleased and lets me off the hook, going and dancing with Mr. Titman. I then go to the middle of the class room and proceed to dance to 'I'm a sparkly gay vampire who hates all things that make sense and sleep with my dog instead of the girlfriend who cheated on me' By Edward Cullen.

As I expertly whip my hair back and forth like a twenty first century girl, I do some super cool ninja karate moves and finish off with jazz hands. When I'm done with my magical dance explosion of passion, I catch sight of a disgustingly ugly  minion hunched over with a certain redhead on its back.

I run over there, where she was pounding it's head and repeatedly screaming "Take me places!" and I take a punch bowl and pour it on her.

  "Bailey! I told you, no messing with your father's pet! Ares will get mad!" I scream over the girl who was singing 'baby baby baby oh' from the loud speakers and look at the very scarred-for-life Trenor.

She gives me a death glare and her eyes suddenly don't resemble a deer's anymore. "GET OUT BEFORE I STAB YOUR FUCKING EYES OUT!!!!!!!" She shrieks and I don’t really want to live the rest of my life without sight so I comply.

Sighing, I leave the party just as Trandon and Rick start stripping on top of Ms. Popsickle's desk for the entire class. I'd been looking forward to that all week.

I walk down the hallway, turning the corner and coming face to face with the freaking man of my dreams.

"Hey." He says and I fight the urge to tackle him.

"Uh..." I dart my eyes around everywhere and lean my back on the lockers, trying to look casual. "Sup, bro." Sup, bro?!? I think furisly and blush super red.

"How are you?" His charming smile widens and I’m positive he can detect that I’ve turned into a tomatoe and I curse myself out. He was a beautiful angel crafted by Hephaestus himself, so what?

"Good." I say unconversationally. Shit, Rose, say something witty. "Better than those kids in Africa, am I right?!" The second I say it I mentally bash my head in to the wall. OHMYZEUS WTF.

At that point he's looking at me like I just said I was going to get a sex change next Saturday and I start feeling uncomfortable. "Well, um, I need to be places but I’ll see you later." He nods and I walk up the stairs. When I get high enough he can't see me I face plam myself. Could you have been any less like a daughter of Aphrodite? I scold myself.

The truth was, I know when someone liked someone else. I know what the best remark was for someone who was being flirted all over. I know what the perfect hairstyle for what shape head, or clothes for what body type, or makeup for what face, but when it comes to me and boys...

Oh Zeus.

Since I didn't really have anywhere to be, I sat in the Cafeteria and brought out my diary and began writing:

Dear Retarded Green Notebook,

My teachers have recently been repeatedly saying that I need to figure out what I want to be when I get out of this shit hole called demigod school. Well, I’ve been thinking about it long and hard and I’ve decided that I really want to be a unicorn. Then I could stab people anytime I wanted.

I think Ginger is on drugs. He keeps twerking like Miley Cyrus and yelling about 'being in Hufflepuff', whatever that means. Yesterday he led a strike against flushing public toilets. I'm totally with him on that one, but I doubt the man eating spiders would allow that.

Anyway, I just bumped into Max in the hall. It was super awkward but he looked really good today. What violent acts I would commit to take him and-

Suddenly a seducing flash of light causes my hand to spasm and drop my pen and I look up from my crapload of words that were my thoughts. My jaw drops when I see who's standing there in a waaaay too short Greek chiton.

"Hermes? The fuck are you doing here?"

"I’m here to pick up my godsdamn son. Where's Trandon?" He demands. His wing feet flap vigorously as he hovers there like a mad Pegasus.

"Last time I saw him he was stripping with his new boyfriend." I shrug and pick up my fallen pen.

His expression softens. "Oh, alright then. I was going to talk to him about his six F's on his report card but it can wait." He makes a move to leave but I hold up a hand.

"Wait! Mr. Hermes I wanted to ask you if... well..." I lose confidence and look down at my palms.

"Yes, dear girl?" He questions.

"Where... Where dose mail come from?" There. It was said.

He beams and sits beside me. "Oh, the world of mail is so very exiting! First, paper has to be made...."

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:') I remember the first time I asked about mail

Dad almost had a heart attack...

So I mainly started this for my own entertainment it has people from my school and I wanted to make fun of them so yeah it's pretty weird. I changed their names a little but they know who they are ;D Dustly.

Well I’m gonna go sniff a wall for a bit so have a good day