My Fictional Boyfriend

Chapter 34 ~ On My Own

Darkness.

I could not breathe. It was like there was something blocking the air in my throat that it wasn't able to reach my lungs. I imagined Marvin telling me to calm down, but how the effing way could I calm down if I didn't know where I was or how to breathe properly.

Just when I felt that I was about to give my last remaining breath, a hand grabbed mine. Then there was a force that brushed against my arm. I blinked and once I opened my eyes I saw the Marvin’s hand entwined with mine…

“Marvin!” I tried to say in surprise, but I couldn’t. No voice came out my mouth.

Under water.
Hundreds, maybe thousands of feet below the surface of the earth.

I was wearing a black diver suit with hose and goggles on my face. That big equipment on my back was the only thing supporting my life, else my body wouldn't be able to stand the pressure and lose oxygen. Light already filled our surroundings.

Breath-taking.

Splashes of colors, various shapes and sizes, everything in beauty that spans for meters and meters away. I wanted to ask him where were we. He seemed to heard my thought but he simply smiled. Expressions were hard to tell with the mouthpiece in our mouths, but I saw how the crinkles by his eyes  folded and how his cheeks somehow lifted… I was very sure he would grin if he could.

We swam further as schools of different fish species dashed through our way. Our hands didn't leave each other, as if they were glued together. I tried to catch one fish with my other free hand but it simply slipped my hand. I wanted to laugh, to kiss a thank for Marvin, and do many things I couldn't do underwater, but for that mean time I enjoyed the moment while I had it.


Suddenly, splashes of water and hard bubbles filled the surroundings. It was so harsh that I almost removed my mouthpiece. I grabbed it, but realized Marvin wasn't around now. “Marvin?” I tried to shout, but just like before, nothing came out of my mouth but bubbles. I did not know what to do or how to get out of there.

I have to find him.

Then there was another turbulent, this one with a very strong force... then I completely lost my mouthpiece thousands of feet underwater.

~

I woke up with a start, gasping for air. “Hey, hey” Marvin immediately held me in a hug.

“What happened?” I asked, not letting go.

“Did you enjoy our underwater tour?” I could feel the grin in what he said like he really wasn't in the latter part of the dream. I pulled away and saw him, I was right he was grinning. It was enough for me to forget the nightmarish part I saw.

I smiled. “Yes! It was amazing. I was surprised. Thank you, Marvin.”

“You know I'll continue to give more surprises while I can.”

“Well, next time, inform me before you try to kill me.” I folded my arms, trying to look mad.

He chuckled. “Just never let go of my hand.”

I glanced at the clock. It was just four in the morning. It's Saturday, the day of the play. It was so early in the morning but I still went down to the kitchen to get some juice or water. I was surprised when my parents were there already, cooking breakfast.

“Goodmorning, princess.” Dad said while cooking bacon, from what I smelled.

“Ella! What made you wake up this early?” Mom placed her iPad down.

“I got thirsty,” I said and sat beside mom. “What about you? You don't always wake up this early.”

“Here, lemon juice.” Mom handed me a glass. “Well, you have a play today right?”

I nodded, then Dad continued. “So we decided to adjust our time a bit and go to work earlier so we can watch you just in time.”

I felt a tinge of warmness touching my heart. They really were the best parents. “Thanks,” I said and smiled. “But I won't have much scenes, the director removed some parts to lessen the load of my practice within two days. And the songs… I won't even sing. I'll just lip-synch my friend, Aly…”

“Shh,” Dad said. “Still. We're proud enough to know you'll be there and that you made some costumes. Without you, they might not succeed.”

“Listen to your father, sweetie.” Mom reached for my hand. “I've been in the television and movie industry for almost… Well, since years before you were even born. One thing we have to keep in mind is that even the Extra actor walking at the background of the scene has his own role in the show. He has his part, without his role, things might have been different.”

“And here, you're more than just in the background, you're a star for us.” Dad added. They did have a great team with all these pep talk and inspirational speeches. The warmness inside of me ignited and sparked, all because of gratefulness.

After the breakfast, I went back to bed and rehearsed some lines. I still had two hours to spare before I have to prepare for school. I tried to fall asleep again but I couldn't. Since there were some major changes in the play, the officials decided to have the final grand rehearsal on the day itself, just in the morning so we could rest for the noon. The play would start at five.

I already memorized the lines but I was really anxious I might forget some parts because of the nerves. My phone rang in the middle of a scene. “Liam?”

He laughed. “Also can't sleep?”

“What? How'd you…” Then I shove my curtains to the sides and saw him in his bedroom window. “Hey.” I waved at him.

“Goodluck later,” he said.

“To you too!” I smiled and remembered the girl he was with last thursday. “Hey, who was the girl you were with?”

“Why? You jealous?” He chuckled. If he was beside me then, I would have punched him. “I'm just kidding!” He said and chuckled harder.

What's so funny about it? I decided to change the topic since he wouldn't tell me yet. “Anyway, did you asked James and Alexa already if they can come? You spend more time with them lately.”

He seemed to recover from his extreme happiness. “They said they would come,” he grinnned. “By the way, don't worry. I'll introduce you to my girl later.”

My girl. “Oh, wow! Since when did you call someone yours?”

He chuckled again. “You are my bestfriend. She's my…well, soon-to-be-girlfriend.”

“So it wasn't official?” That was my time to laugh.

“Well, somehow, but I already told her and she told me but things are a bit complicated now.” I saw him shrugged in his room.

“Well…” I said. “I'm pretty sure she'll like you. You seem to enjoy each other's company while the whole club was searching for Candice.”

He grinned at me from the distance.  “Well, we were actually talking about you. I told her you'd be a great Eponine.” He yawned.

“I'm really looking forward to see her. You probably should rest now.”

“See you in a bit! Let's go to school together.”

“You'll drive?” I teased.

“I only have a student license, but what's a car if I wouldn't drive it anyway.”

We ended up walking since Liam’s mom won't let him drive alone with only a student license. He talked about her soon-to-be-girlfriend and the story I was making. He said I shouldn't listen to the bad comments others gave my story also about the ending part. He said I should just follow my heart to what I wanted to happen and when I wanted them to happen.

“It's okay. They actually give me ideas and suggestions.” I gave him an assurance smile. We spent the rest of the way practicing our lines.

Thankfully, the grand rehearsals went smoothly. There wasn't any major mistakes and no one got injured. Aly wasn't able to go there because of her injury but she promised to practice her songs at home.

When I got home, Marvin was sitting on my bed. “Excited for today?” he asked.

I went beside him and he enveloped me in his arms. “Yes, I'm really anxious. What if I forgot the lines?” I checked my pocket for the paper of script.

“Shh, Ella.” Marvin locked my Arms. “You have to rest, just have a break to clear your mind and make you more focus later.” He slowly loosened the grip and let go of me.

“How?” I asked.

He pointed to my laptop on the top of my desk. “Hmm, write about us?”

I smiled. “Yes!” I said and rushed towards my laptop to log in my account. However, my mind was still coudy with the thoughts of the play later than I couldn’t think straight. “What do you think I can write about?”

Marvin hugged me again as we sat on the bed. “How about our adventure this morning?”

It took me more than a couple of hours to write about the latest chapter. It was about my dream, or should I say, my adventure with Marvin this morning. I described everything I saw and wrote every wonders I felt there, only leaving the latter part and changing it with a happy ending. Well, that was my book, it was a chapter about us. We deserved to have happy endings.

“Now, in the midst of nowhere, with these indescribable feelings and his hand entwined with mine... I found my everything. I won't be on my own.”

~

Dim lights, leather seats and popcorns smell. Those things filled the school’s auditorium for our play. Along with them were visitors such as parents, guardians, friends other students and teachers from outside our school. I heard some group of people who caught up with each other's lives using this event to update for seemed like a long time. I admit I was being a bit nosy, only because I was extra observant.

I was looking for my parents and friends. I got there with Liam and his mom but I lost them when I went to the comfort room. The murmurs and laughter I heard did not help me to calm down. They made me even more nervous seeing how big the crowd would be, they would all watch me.

From a distant I saw Aly standing beside Sean and Marc. If she was already better, I might ask her to play Eponine’s role. She saw me approaching first. “Ella! There you are.”

“Aly! Can you walk already?” I asked, maybe a little too obvious of what I wanted to tell her.

Aly sighed. “Yeah, but still can't play the role. I need a crutch or someone to support me. Thankfully here I have both. Unless you want Eponine with a crutch.” She saw me the crutch supporting her, I wasn't able to see those earlier because of the dim lights. Aly might have seen my disappointment that's why she laughed and patted my back. “I believe in you, Ella. You can do it, okay? We're proud of you, you're my lifesaver. Who else can do this role better than us?” She smiled. “Break a leg, okay? But don't break a leg.”

“Come, let's sit already, babe.” Sean led her to a row.


Marc and I went to the organization room for me to get dressed. “Have you seen Liam?” I asked him on the way.

He shook his head. “No but I think the actors were called to the organization room already.”

“Do you have anyone with you tonight?” I asked.

He seemed to frown. “No one. I think my date ditched me,” he whispered. I wasn't sure then if I could ask if a girl or a boy, but I did anyway. I whispered it to him. He grinned. “I wasn't serious about the ditched date, but… whoever comes, whatever gender or age, as long as it's love, who can stop one's heart, right?”

“Right,” I said and returned his grin. “Great words, I suggest you write them down.”

He laughed. “I'll try.”

Speaking of love, I just saw Liam with his “soon-to-be-girlfriend”. He was posing with the girl as someone was taking a photo of them. “Come here, Marc, I think someone has some introduction to do.”

“Well, I have to go inside and help for the distribution.” He winked and went inside the crowded room.

“Liam,” I called as I approached.

“Oh, hey Ella!” He waved.

“Hi,” the girl beside him said and I was surprised once I heard her voice. Despite the shades, make up and her curly brown hair, no one had the same voice she possessed.

“Oh my g! Alexa?!” I held her, arms-length to get a clear view of her. Only then I confirmed who she really was. “Wow, I barely recognized you.”

She and Liam laughed. “Liam helped me with all these disguises.”

I turned to see the cameraman who wore a brown hat. “And you must be James?”

James removed his hat and vowed. “At your service.”

“Hey! Put that back on. People might recognize you!” I said and checked. No one was around, even Marc went to somewhere I didn't know.

James and Alexa looked at each other and smiled. James winked. “Who cares if they saw James and Alexa supporting their friends in a play?”

“Ella, Liam.” He returned with plastics in his hand. “Here are your costumes. I guess you better wear them already before you hear Rick’s outrage for the late actors.”

“Thanks.” We said.

“Alexa, James, we gotta go now. You know where your seats are?” Liam told them.

“Yes,” James answered and smiled. “We'll make our way through.”

“Hey!” Marc sneered at Marc, he was still standing beside us. “You sound familiar!”

We all looked at each other. James fixed his hat but then looked at Marc closely. “Hey! Marc?” he said.

“You know me?!”

“I…” James glanced at us and chuckled. “I think we went to the same elementary.”

“I transferred before I graduated elementary. Uhm, can you help me remember?” Marc’s eyebrows were almost connected. I sure that he would be so surprise when he realized who James was.

“I transferred too maybe just the same time you did.”

Alexa broke in. “Uhm, boys, I think we can just sit together and talk about it inside the auditorium so Ella and Liam can prepare.”

James chuckled. “Right. Right. Let's go.”

“See yah!” Alexa shouted as they went.

Liam and I walked towards the dressing room. I took the chance to ask him stuff about Alexa. “So…” I started.

“I know what you’re going to ask.” He smirked at me. “We talked about it already and we decided not to rush things first, especially with her busy schedule.”

I stared at him for a moment. “So you're really serious about it!”

He nodded. “I love her, okay?”

I grinned and hugged him. “I'm so happy for you!”

“What about you and Marvin?” he asked.

I smiled even though flashes of the latterpart of my dream sank into my mind. “We're doing great!”

He frowned. We reached the entrance of the dressing room but he stopped. “You're hiding something, you can tell me.”

I sighed. “Well, I'm afraid to finish the story I'm writing. I don't know what will happen if I end it. I can't find the perfect way to end it.”

“You don't to find the perfect ending, you just have to write what you feel deep inside you. You're Ella Grace! I'm sure you'll write the best.”

After that, we stopped being Ella and Liam for a while and acted our roles as Marius and Eponine.

~

The play started and heart almost jump out of my chest as scenes by scenes were acted. “I'm near, I'm nearer and nearer,” whispered that tiny voice inside me. “Shoo!” I tried to clear it away. “Marvin! I need you, where are you?” I whispered to one corner of the dark blackstage while holding my phone. I took a deep breath. “I'll be next here, Marvin.” I said while peeking from the side of the back stage. “Where are you?! I need you to stay with me on stage.”

Staring at the huge Manila Paper of the schedule of scenes that was posted on the way to the stage entrance, my eyes started to get teary and my limbs started to tremble. I was having stage-fright. I kept my phone and sighed. Marvin was nowhere. I felt so sad then, but I had to go there and be Eponine for my parents to be proud of me and to my friends especially to Aly, Liam and the help of Alexa and James. I walked closer just as the actors began to walk downstage.

Someone patted my shoulder. I turned and saw Liam with a huge grin on his face. “Let's do it?”

I nodded and returned the smile. Then he pushed me towards the stage, towards my first scene.

So far, the scenes went well and flawless. For every accomplished scenes, I did feel the victory as I emerge back to the backstage, but there was still a tinge of sadness.

Where is he?
Is he watching me?

I glanced at the Manila paper of the schedules again. Someone from the stage committee drew strokes at the finished scenes. The next one would be my solo scene. On my own. I was on my own.

Marvin, if you can't be here beside me, I hope you're watching me. This one’s for you…

After several scenes, my feet couldn't stop trembling. It was dark on-stage with only the spotlight settling on me. I thought of my lines as something Eponine would say to Marius and Cosette, but as I said those lines, I found a deeper meaning this exact scene. Then Aly started to sing. Words and words that stabbed my heart like never before…

On my own,
Pretending he's beside me…

I pretended to walk with someone holding my hands. I wished Marvin was here to help me make this real. I blinked as a tear escaped my eye. I tried to make my singing be more real but I just couldn't help it, more and more tears flushed. I turned my back from the audience and walked, still acting, when I felt warmness around me. “Marvin.” I said.

“I'm here now. I'm sorry Ella.” He hugged me tighter. I almost forgot that we were on stage with hundreds of audiences including my parents! I turned and wiped my tears as Aly did her best to sing the high notes from the other side of the backstage

It felt like all the emotions I kept inside of me about losing Marvin was released by Eponine. Eponine slapped me on the face forcing me to stop pretending. I closed my eyes. But I love Marvin with all my heart, I love him so much it was painstakingly impossible to think of losing him.

I love him.
I love him.
I love him…
But only on my own…

Standing under the spotlight and dim lights, as Marvin stood close to me, I realized that Eponine and me had a difference: Marvin really loved me.