I woke up and accepted that day as the day when I lost you forever. I tried to breathe helplessly but couldn't pull myself together. I turned and wrapped my arm around just to realize you weren't there anymore. You were gone, faded like sand grains in the winds, like dim stars in a pitch-black sky, like a broken heart that couldn't stand an inhuman, cold-blooded world.
My heart, my soul, I was broken, and feeling so low.
I pulled down the old-fashioned, moth-eaten curtains so the bright sunlight could pour in to the room, lighten up everything, cover my face, my body with delighted, glittering sparks to hide the fact that I was crumbling apart.
After getting myself dressed and sliding into my pair of sneakers, I walked exhaustingly into the kitchen. The table in the middle of the room was filled with food and drinks, for how long only god may know. Why couldn't my heart be like that, filled with joy and happiness?
I eventually took a cup of coffee and kicked off for a walk. The street was as usual, the people were as usual, but everything didn't feel the same. Where were you?
As I walked through the crowd, I heard chatter and talks. Why were they happy? Why couldn't I? Why could everyone else act like nothing happen, when my heart was stabbed with pain my world was falling apart?
I walked like a madman through the street, through the agony, through the cold-hearted life without knowing where. Eventually I ended up at a parking lot.
I burst into tears. Falling on my knee, I held my arms into my stomach and my body folded so I could hold myself together, so I wouldn't explode because of torment and grieve. All suddenly everything happening around was meaningless, everyone pointing at me and everyone else that didn't faded away like a painting washed with water. Everything just went silent like some scenes in a movie.
It took me forever to stop crying. I wept my tears and stood up as I saw something. A bottle of wine was placed on the ground in front of me, which wasn't there a minute ago.
I grabbed it like a dog hungry for sticks. Uncorked the bottle, I poured the liquid into my mouth slowly but intensely, tasted the bittersweet passing through my lips.
And so, the memories came back, flowing toward, and destroying me like a sail drowned by the storm. This parking lot was where we had our first date. In a parking lot, weird. But it was so romantic, so fascinating, so real and intense.
Right here, beneath the dim lights of the lamps, under the starry sky full of sparks, I held you in my arms and gave you a powerful kiss. Right here, on top of cars, we danced to "You are my sunshine" on the radio. Right here, we laughed, we cried, and we loved.
You were the paint to my brush, the word to my story, the key to my heart. And you chose to let go, to leave me here all alone, drowned by the dark, by the cuts scratched all over my body that can never be healed.
As the bittersweet poured into my stomach, I felt hot and frustrated. My head spun around and the world faded into nothingness, until I felt to the ground and fainted, my head went black.
~oOo~
I woke up in my bed sweating. Why was I here? What happened? Who carried my home after I blackened? The questions kept banging into my head as I got into my feet and out of the room.
Just as I grabbed for the door knob, I realized it wasn't there. Not just the door knob, but the door. Maybe I was going crazy, because of you.
Walking into the kitchen, I headed for the table full of food and drinks. Or I thought so. The table was empty as my heart, dreary and miserable, nothing like yesterday. Where was the food?
