Tili Tili Bom (An Avengers fanfic)

Chapter nineteen

He's fairly understanding, which I don't expect. After the preliminary why are you awakes, he takes in my clothes, the rings under my eyes, the look of panic I'm sure is scattered over my face. Seeing the bruises helps too. He brings me downstairs and begins getting out equipment. "Basically, it'll monitor your brain activity and heart rate, so if something goes wrong, I can wake you up. You'll be able to control the experience more, but remember, all damage is real," he explains. He frowns for a moment. "This really would work better with more than one person," he tells me. I sigh in acceptance. "Fine."

After Stark, Clint wanders downstairs, Natasha in tow. "Wha's... Wha's goinonn?" he asks, yawning. Natasha sits by me on the cot Dr. Banner set up. "What's wrong?" she asks. The fear in her eyes makes me want to break. Banner fills everyone in as I fight to stay up. He connects the last electrode as Steve and Thor wander downstairs. Steve... I hope this works, for his sake if not mine. He delicately brushes my hair out of my eyes. "It's going to be okay," he reassures me. I'm so tired. I feel weak, and I hate... I hate this. I hate that he's scared, I hate that any of them are scared. I hate that I'm scared. "I know," I say back. My vitals come alive on the doctors screens. "We're ready," he tells me. Stark steps by the other side of the cot. "I still don't trust you," he tells me. Then he sighs. "But to be honest, I don't think you could've killed them." I'm drifting off, but I manage to smile at him before I fade. "Neither do I."

It's dark again. I'm on my knees, and I rise, unbalanced. "Charlotte," says a voice, close in the darkness. I grip tighter to the gun. I turn to face the nightmare. I take his hand- I want to pretend nothing will go wrong, but my innocence is gone now. "I'm sorry," I tell it. "I love you." It dissolves. Tears sting in my eyes. Not real.

I'm ready.