[DISCONTINUED] Perhaps A Perfect Match | Jerome Clarke x reader

Chapter eleven

Your POV:
"Get out of my way, Jerome!" I yelled. He just stood there with persistance of his face. I knew just from looking at him, I'm never leaving this room unless I tell him...
"I can't..." I said quietly while quickly walking to end old bench and sitting on it. "Y/N, you said that the first time we ever did this. You can trust me." He said, gesturing between us. I remembered. "Can I though?" I questioned again, just like last time. "Always." He said coming over and sitting beside me.

Y/N: "My past isn't a good one, ya know? I hated my life and everyone in it. Even my mother at times."
J: "Everyone has something they don't like in their lives."
Y/N: "Yes, something. I hate everything. That was until my aunt helped me."
J: "So you got a better life? From her?"
Y/N: "Sometimes."
J: "Y/N, I want to be there for you, always, but I can't if you don't tell me."
Y/N: "Me and my dad, we're...We were the closest, ever. Then my brother, second to him. But he's not really my brother. Half brother. His name is Fabian. Basically, one day he took off with my brother and never came back. He always told me I could trust him and I did but that day I lost all trust in anyone and everyone."
J: "I don't know what to say..."
Y/N: "You dont have to. No one knows anything...about my pain..."
J: "Y/N... My dad went to prison... when I was younger..."
Y/N: "I'm sorry."
J: "No. He was no dad."
J: "Go on..."

A tear fell from my fully wet eyes. I couldn't speak. I looked to my hands, fiddling with my fingers. He put an arm around me, lightly rubbing my shoulder on the other side. I had no energy to move him off, I left him to do it.

Y/N: "I don't except emotions anymore. All they do is hurt you in the end."
J: "Love is strength."
Y/N: "Love isn't strength. Love isn't weakness. Love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them not to. To love is to destroy and to be loved is to be the one destroyed." (Shadowhunters quote reference;))
I looked at him when I said this then instantly looked back down again.
J: "But love is the most powerful thing, emotion ever to exist."
Y/N: "Love comes with trust and trust destroys you."
J: "But I trust you, that's why I told you about my dad. Although it's nothing compares to yours."
Y/N: "I don't think I can do this..."

I stood and walked over to the door but Jerome ran in front of me and stopped me from opening it. "Do you like Eddie?" He asked. "No! Not like that." I said instantly. "Good. I thought the reason you couldn't do this was because of him." He said giving a smile that I couldn't resist, I smiled back. As soon as I did it, I realised what I had done, unintentionally. I quickly stopped and looked down while trying to get past him again.

"Don't." He said putting his arm around my shoulders from the front. "I have to go! I have homework!" I said harshly. "You can't just leave after all that." He said and moved me backwards, keeping his hands on my shoulders. "That wasn't that! That was the most important thing to me and no one knows! Now you do! I wish I never told you!" I yelled, raising a hand to my head, rubbing my forehead lightly while placing a hand on my hip. "It's ok. I'm sorry. Please don't stress or cry." He said, pulling me closer into a hug. "I can't do this..." I said again. "Us? Emotions?" He questioned. "Yeah. I don't wanna have emotions again." I said to him, pulling away from his grip. He looked so sad. I walked past and opened the door, he let me. I looked back for a second then walked back to the house.