Ellucid (Ellucid #1) ★

Sixteen

My resolve is set, a firm line that leads me straight to Marisa's office. I walk with deliberate steps, not glancing back at my room and the journal inside that seems to have all the answers. I know this is what I must do to protect Asher—and myself.

"Marisa?" I slide open the door to her office and find her reading through a stack of files on her desk. Her lips are curled, her eyes boring a hole through the paper. When she sees me, she softens.

"Hey, Gabi. Thought any more about this morning?"

"Yeah." Swallowing my pride, I cross the room and sit down in the chair opposite her desk. "I want to do the mission. I read through the file."

She sets down the folder, concealing the words inside. "What changed your mind?"

"Asher. I need closure. I think this will help."

It's a lie, but barely—it resonates too close to the truth. I wonder if she can see my real intentions past the nervous flickering in my eyes.

She doesn't say anything, lacing her fingers together as she studies me. I want to squirm under her piercing gaze, but I sit on my hands and force myself to stare straight back into her steely blue eyes. Finally, she breaks the connection and says, "All right. You'll leave tomorrow. You'll have to redo the weapons test."

"Of course."

Marisa quirks up an eyebrow at my lack of hesitation. "We can go do that in a few minutes. I want to talk to you first, though." She stands, crossing the room and sliding her door shut again. When it connects with the wall, the cracking noise resonates. "I'm worried about you."

"Worried about my connection with Asher? I swear that won't be a problem anymore. I can detach myself emotionally."

"No. I understand your feelings towards Asher, and I'm confident you'll do what's right soon enough. I'm worried about your powers."

Of course she is. Everyone knows my powers aren't developing at the same speed they should. Even after all my time in the simulation room, I have trouble using them on command, and it's even harder when I'm not sleeping. I still don't see any way they could be helpful.

"Soon, your powers will develop to their full potential," Marisa continues. "I'm worried about what will happen when your powers are maxed out. You'll be able to alter reality, and I'm afraid you'll become confused."

"Confused about what I should do?" I ask. "It's easy. I'll make Asher good again. I'll end this whole stupid struggle."

"It doesn't work like that." Marisa reaches inside her desk and pulls out a file. Written on the tab, in black marker, is my name. "As far as we know from gauging your potential during these tests, you can't change people. You can change what happens to you, but that will be it. But I'm getting off-topic. You'll discover what you can and can't do soon enough."

She leans towards me, her elbows pressing into her desk. "Your biggest battle isn't going to be with guns or knives or hand-to-hand combat," she says. "It won't be confronting Asher. It will be with yourself, when it comes time for you to face the truth."

"The truth?"

"Yes. Your powers can lead you in the direction you need to go. They can guide you, but you have to listen. And you have to keep a clear picture of what isn't or isn't true. Gabi, people with powers like yours can go insane, trying to figure out where the line between dreams and reality is drawn. You need to be careful."