Broken

I've lost it

*Rileys POV*

i slide down to the floor crying into my hands i reach up and pull open the drawer. i touch the familiar metal. i hold it in my hand. my hands shaking i put the blade to my wrist slowly scrape it across the smooth skin i see the blood drip down my arm and i feel a sense of relief a slash across my arm again this time deeper i do it all up and down my arm slashing again and again trying to forget the nights happenings 

*flashback* 

"you can run but you cant hide" i hear a familiar voice yell down the street. "if you think you cant out run e little girl your crazy" he yells louder "you get your ass over here so i cant kick your ass" he yelled slowing down it was raining i was crying i see my destination in front of me "ha ha you thought you could run and think i would be gone" i feel him grab my arm pulling me back "no no no" i yell trying to alarm people but it was after 3 in the morning no one was up nor would they be up for hours i was help less no one no one could help me "your gonna get it" he said pulling me back home i went along with him seeing as though there was no chance for me.

"so why run away Ri why I'm just helping you" i look at him "maybe i know what you need" he said taking off his belt stepping toward me i took a step back "don't move" he yelled "it was your fault" he yelled coming closer "what was my fault" i yelled back he lifted the belt and slashed it across my face i whine in pain "YOU MADE YOUR MOM KILL HERSELF" he yelled lifting the belt again only this time it hit me on the side.

i wake up tears in my eyes and sweat dripping down my forehead. 

*End flashback* 

once i was done i undress and get in the shower feeling the water wash away all the blood. i just stared down at the blood washing down the drain.

i get out of the shower put on a sweat shirt and go lay back down. i look up at the ceiling thinking what am i doing no one is going to miss me what is the point. what do i have to do to be loved in this world. I get up and walk down the hall and knock on my best friends door " Riley is after one in the morning what are you doing up" she said as she looks at me "have you been crying" "no" i said whipping my eyes with my sweatshirt sleeve " your lieing to me" "ok i was crying Autumn whats so wrong with that" "Riley show me your wrists" "no" 'RILEY VICTORIA SMITH SHOW ME YOUR DAMN WRISTS RIGHT NOW" she yelled pulling me into her room and pulling my sweater sleeve up "Riley you told me you would not do that anymore" I'm sorry i had that dream again" i said looking down "so you come talk to me your best friend... get your shoes on" she said going to her closet "why" i asked getting up "just do it Riley"