As if You Were All I Needed

2

As the alarm gives off the annoying buzzing that tells me to get my ass out of bed, my head jerks up in surprise, creating a popping noise in my neck. I smack the alarm clock off and get up out of bed, waiting for my next day of hell to begin.

But aside from an annoying alarm clock waking me up, I couldn't have more of an amazing morning waking up to my parents fighting yet again. I go and stand by my doorway overhearing the conversation they have.

"You went out drinking again?!"I hear my dad say.

"Why do you care? What about what I do matters to you? You weren't even around."

"Because I have a job that I want to maintain instead of drinking my problems away because I was getting extra paper work and was forced to work even later!"

"So you're saying you couldn't just hold off your work until today instead of just coming home and spending time with your family? Like a GOOD HUSBAND!?"

"You're being overdramatic. Your the one who stays out late, drinks, and then doesn't come home until 4 in the morning, where I have to get up out of bed and make sure you don't crash into something based off of how drunk you are."

"You don't love me. You don't care enough to be there for me!"

"Oh shut up bitch! No one wants to here the crap that just came out of your mouth!"

Just like every morning, a new fight sparks. And just like every morning, I have to pretend as though if everything was going to be okay. But, it's not, it never was.

As if getting ready for school wasn't hard enough, I have to stare at my horrible self in the mirror everyday. 'Ugly,' I think to myself. No one would love someone as ugly as me. From my pale skin and my black to brown hair, to my ridiculous waist and ugly thighs with the slight figure of an hourglass. I brush my hair, put on regular clothes, like an oversized shirt with a flannel around my waist along with jeans. I grab my backpack and step out of my room.

Passing my parents fighting, they don't even bother saying goodbye and lie to me telling me that they love me. I know they don't, because if they did, they would at least take the time to talk to me instead than bicker and complain like children. But that's too much to ask for right?

As I step out of the front door, I wait at the end of my driveway for the bus, when suddenly I here loud footsteps running down the sidewalk. I turn and see Jody sprinting down the sidewalk, breathing heavily and running out of breath. He looks at me and opens his mouth, "Is the bus here yet?" He asks as he is out of breath with his hands on his knees. Did he just speak to me? Like, actually notice me and speak to me? "No, why do you think I'm standing here?" I reply. Did that come off rude?

"Right, I'm stupid. I just missed the bus and remembered it stopped here after 2 other houses after mine."

It's weird to actually be talking to him, to even stand this close to him. His hands were still on his knees and I couldn't stop looking at him, in shock that he's actually here. He was a good shade between pale and tan, his brown completely messed up from running so much. He dressed down like, where in which he was wearing a Fall Out Boy shirt that was half tucked into his black jeans. When he got here I realized his beanie fell from his head. I picked it up and held it in my hand. I was frozen thinking I should say something. "I'm guessing this is yours?"

"What? Oh, my beanie, yeah, I guess it fell when I got here." He grabs it from my hand and gives me a perplexed look, "Do I know you?"

"Doubt it."

"Alexina, right? I pass by your house every time I talk a walk, don't I?"

"I mean... h-how should I know?" (it's not like I wait for you to pass by all the time...)

The conversation didn't really go along after I said that. He just looked at me confused, but, I mean, why wouldn't he? It was a strange way to answer a question. The bus showed up a few minutes later and I already didn't want to be here, despite everything that just happened, I really didn't want to get on that bus. Whether I've actually spoke to Jody or not, I honestly don't care at this point.

As Jody and I proceed to walk onto the bus, the driver greeted us with our names, like he always did. "Jody. Alexina. Good morning." After he said my name, everyone on that bus went completely silent. No one spoke, no one moved, and all were staring at the front of the bus. 

Suddenly, a brunette haired girl spoke out. "Jody and Alexina?! Now there's two people who I wouldn't have imagined to be dating." My face turned bright red and I was so flustered I didn't know what to say at all. "No, that's not it all." Jody replies. "I just missed the bus. I'm not even really her friend." That statement pierced my chest harder than anything that has ever hurt me before. I had to accept it, he wasn't wrong though. Other than today, we've never really spoke much, it was like we were complete strangers to each other. Although to me, he was no stranger.

We continue to walk towards the back of the bus, no seats were empty except the ones in the back. Of course, there was one seat that just happened to be free. What a coincidence.... Jody turns around to look at me and says, "Since I've got big legs, you can get the window." I didn't say anything and took the offer. I set my bag down on the floor between my feet and scrunch up as close to edge of seat as I could. I was starting to get anxiety attacks because I was next to Jody, and honestly, I already knew something was going to go wrong this bus ride the second I got on.

**Hey guys, WritefulWhale here! Sorry if my writing was a bit off for this chapter. I wanted to give Alexina a chance to talk to Jody. Of course, there are going to be anxiety attacks here and there throughout the bus ride the next chapter. I hoped you all liked today's update of As if You Were All I Needed.**